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Show j; TacMul Thomas j ' "" - - -" -.. ) v? I ijjy ChWstopficr G. Hazard ' J-- ; 3T WAS with smiling resolution, but nlso with Invincible vanity, that Mr. Thomas Sprlggs greeted the sunshine of a New Year's morning. He had determined to be socially active ac-tive and pleasant, but he had failed ! to reckon with himself. In assuming that everybody would be glad to see him he had forgotten that his previous faithfulness to calling lists had not always seemed to hit the mark. If some kind friend could have advised and convinced him about his faculty of getting Into situations wrong and his ability for saying the things he did not mean to say, he might have profited by counsel, but, as the case was, his powers In these directions were unimpaired. He was still unaware un-aware of the fact that he wus Ironically Iron-ically known as Tactful Thomas. Thus It wus that the day opened characteristically us he shook hands with old man Young and, after the usual New Year wish, stepped on his favorite corn by an unfortunate comparison. com-parison. Mr. Young was on the other side of seventy, but fond of Imagining himself as young as ever, and a mutual acquaintance of the two wus this side of that meridian, but with the looks of Methusaleh. "How old do you think our friend Smlthers is?" asked Young. "Well, I should say about sixty," replied Mr.' Sprlggs, "but he looks as old as you do!" The conversation conver-sation was then abruptly ended. Nothing daunted by Mr. Young's failure to appreciate his wit, Mr. Sprlggs proceeded to find his next victim, vic-tim, gayly wishing himself a happy New Year. On his way to Miss Bump's reception he fell In with Mr. Ignatius Friendly, his pastor for many years, and still holding the office. of-fice. But he presently fell out with Mr. Friendly as follows: "I see," says Sprlggs, "I see that the other church Is about to lose Its pastor. He's been In our town only about three years and now has a call to Bigville. They don't keep a good man long in Bliss-town Bliss-town !" Arriving at the Bump homestead just in time to be rather late. Mr. Sprlggs again distinguished himself in Ids anxiety to promote social fellowship fellow-ship by introducing a young lady friend of some forty winters to one of the literary lions present. Unfortu- ,,nx JsLb j "It Won't Be Lona Now." mitelv he forgot the name of the lady, so he escaped from his dilemma and fell into a new dillicuity by saying, "Professor Fox, let me make you acquainted ac-quainted with with with Miss with one of our old standhys !" j After this, Spriggs, all unabated, presented himself at the Gladbys in time to say to Judge Uprght, vvlio was approaching the age limit set upon his ollice, "It won't be long now, judge, before you will have to go 'way back and sit down." Perhaps the most interesting adventure adven-ture of this colorful day occurred at the Robinson paity. There he grew increasingly careless, until he finally took his leave with a crowning hon mot. As Mrs. Ilobinson kept her upstairs up-stairs room during the festivities, on account of a rather severe indisposition, indisposi-tion, her daughter, Miss Allura, had done the honors, and to her he made his adieus: "Give my best regards to your mother. Miss F.obinson," he said, "and tell her that I hope that she will soon be down and out !" Talking with his landlady that evening, eve-ning, Mr. Spriggs heard from her that j there are many queer people in the world. Wnen he replied that this would 'undoubtedly continue to be the case after they both had left it, the I good lady overlooked the implication I and wished him good night, j Nothing interfered with the slum-! slum-! bers of Mr. Spriggs. No ghostly eon-j eon-j sciousness of an imperfect New Year's i day seemed to stand accusingly about : his bed. lie awoke the next morning 1 to put on the magnifying glasses of conceit with f-esh assurance. lie will j fare forth on January 1, Jb'JT, to com-! com-! ir.it new depredations upon the con-j con-j vcntiotialilies of society. But people will wish him a happy New Year just the same. They know that he means I well with it all and they take his mis-! mis-! takes as contributions to the merri- went with vv'.di-h we all desire to en-! en-! u-r upon new and promising eras. ! Some day he will laugh at" himself. and. although that would deprive us ! of amusement, it will do him good. If 1 we could set1 ourselves as others see ' us. who would dare to he l'umiy? And if we are queer 'it avoids monotony and gives us of that variety which has been called the spice of life. : (CC. 1 "J C . V. extern Nev.-sr-p'T Union |