Show ruminating on ruminants or cogitating about cows by baukhage news analyst and Comment commentator alar t IV washington ASHINGTON the subject of cows recently has been called to my attention in the early pre crossword days a cow was supposed to be an animal ol 01 the bovine species now it is lust just a three letter word treating rrean ng rumi nant there Is another three letter word which also sometimes means a rum nant of which I 1 will speak later before I 1 knew that a cow was e ther a member of the bovine e es or a ruminant I 1 thought it was something fearful which was eu p h e m ad dressed as bos sie and which 1 I was told would not hurt me I 1 took the former statement as cor but had brave rave doubts about the latter later I 1 was taught that cow c 0 w spelled not boss e j but cow and st 11 later I 1 was chased by one th s caus calls d additional doubt concerning tree free information furnished by one s elders then came the crossword puzzles 1 I saw that three horizontal was a three letter word meaning ruminant having heard of the word rumi nate by that time and th ng that thinking or it if you will rumi nat ng was a fairly common t ce among the genus homo I 1 wrote down man later when I 1 met a number of congressmen I 1 was con vinced of my error now I 1 know that neither defini tion Is I 1 entirely wrong A cow rn ru inmates when it chews its end cud having chewed it before and a man ruminates when he chews an idea upon which he has chewed before in some ways however cows and men d affer in fact cows even differ in some respects from women al at though all three creatures mai woman and cow are mammals the h chest form of vertebrate those which the authorities auth orites es inform me nurse their young w th milk just how man gets into th s category is a little beyond me but that is what the sc enlist says and I 1 am w 11 ng to strain my credel ty a I 1 atle after all I 1 suppose that my father who paid tor for the milk wh ch eh I 1 dra drank when I 1 got so I 1 could take it out 0 of a glass nourished me in a manner of speaking we will let it go at that although it seems to me that a man assumes a I 1 atle of what in be cr criticized as the gland mann manner r of speaking when he tries to get more than a grade B rating as a mammal but to return to the differences between cows on the one hand and men and women on the other and I 1 think no one will contradict me when I 1 say there ARE differences one thing a cow cannot do that a man can is blow its own horn and as we know from listen ng to the soap operas it is easier to make a woman sl p than to make a cowslip now what has a cow got that you and I 1 haven ta t answer cattle are closely related to the s talo the bison and the yak I 1 defy any genealogist to produce a bison a buffalo and a yak in one human family tree on the other hand in the branches of a cow s family tree there are no monkeys in some ways the cow has superior ab lit es for instance I 1 have seen a cow roll over without spilling g a drop of milk which is more than any man carrying a similar amount of lacteal fluid could do philologically the cow seems to have somewhat of an edge on man at least for those who bel eve in the cap calist c system the latin word tor for cattle as of course you know if you just looked it at up as I 1 did is and the word pecuniary Is derived from that and the words cattle chattel and cap tal tat are to each other what cow itself is to but talo falo bison and yak all ali present day breeds of cattle I 1 am authoritatively informed are descended from the two types large and small known in stone t mes in europe however in re cent time and now we are getting down to what started me ing something new has been ad ded we now have developed what might be laughingly called hot cows and cold cows the hot are re the brahman which have been insinuated into our own american strains to inure them to our southern latitudes and tor for other purposes As you know brahma cattle are known by their humps A braw brahma has a large hump just abaft the shoulders a d the others of lesser rank have smaller humps getting down to cometh ng not much larger than a fever blister the cold 1 cow is quite a differ ent tn th ng As in be expected it comes from russia where they in vented the cold war the cold shout der and the common or S benan berian cold which is used to correct false ideology es longevity and tic capitalism a amok when a applied to cows instead of capitalists the cold has the appo site effect on longevity accord ing to a recent article in food rood in dus bustnes tries a mcgraw hill tion the russians lave produced by means of a chilling process ap plied from early calf hood cows which live with a high output to 15 years yield up to liters of milk and give birth to 15 calves the process is simple one se elects a calf from selected parents it ts Is put in an unheated barn where the temperature is kept at five de grees fahrenheit the bams I 1 take it are much I 1 ke the ordinary soviet citizen citizens s dwelling except that there is plenty of bedding and the calves in 01 41 t this is pat walker of woodland calif queen of the poly royal celebration at california state polytechnic college with her to do a spot of ruminating is one of the college colleges s better beet beef sires domino prince his mother was one of the aristocratic rumi ruml nants who even now chews her cud in pride over the elegance of her son are provided with earmuffs A citi zen of the U S S it R doesn doean t need the earmuffs because he is only a lowed to I 1 sten to what the govern ment th aks Is good for him and if h s ears freeze it s all right with the censor the results of the chilling process on calves appear remarkable but not for a moment would I 1 doubt the veracity of the writer despite my early experience with erroneous in formation concern ng pg cows the other type of ruminant upon which these ruminations are based Is illustrated in these columns the old order how it basseth after the grey winter days new hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring morn the elm buds are spreading and the shadows of trunk and limb make sharp patterns on the wide expanse of the huge belmont house this house now is occupied by the east ern star no family ever could have done more than rattle about in that palatial mansion I 1 suppose there will be few such palaces bu it in wash agton any more one after an other they are being torn down the leiter house on dupont C rele is gone and a family hotel is rising in its place many other mansions too big for em emboss basses es even served as boarding houses tor for war workers and now they are empty and tor for sale one huge house which I 1 pass oc casio nally is opened when the third generation wh ch still retains some of the nal fortune comes to washington tor for a wedding or a party after that the house is sealed up again the burglar alarms are attached and the old residence goes back to dreaming of the past A part of this section of wash ington dupont circle is being sealed off for a year while the road builders burrow under the grassy park to make an underpass for trolley cars and automobiles this will be the final blow of dis figuration to connecticut avenue which has yielded gradually over the years since I 1 first knew it to the invasion A block below dupont circle tint thit once was gay with the e chatter of nursemaids and children of the foreign d stood the british embassy on the site today is a tilling filling station americans have eaten bananas since the century bu but t still many mis concept ons con concerning cernin g them ex 1st says M addle america informs tion not we hope that they should be kept in the refrigerator 0 I 1 two th ads of all divorces are granted to women Is that because of male chivalry or the I 1 lack of it t f |