a ' H I A Close Shave " ' " 1 i ...... r j By SIDNEY WILDHOLT K i 1 by Wnatarn Nwipapr Union.) JOHN PETWINB was one of those admirable chape who stagger through life under the weight of a misnomer. He seldom staggered under un-der much more than that, It la true. Youthful, upright, and reasonably honest, hon-est, no .man could say of John Pet-wine Pet-wine that he rebelled violently against Volstend's notorious mandate. One glass was equivalent to many where John Petwlne was concerned; two glasses made him silly, and that word means rather the opposite of the empty It ued to mean ; while more than two glasses John's stomach stubbornly J but steadfastly refused to consider. Be- . fore the memorable Eighteenth amendment amend-ment bad terrorised half bis associates, associ-ates, John Petwlne knew from the experience ex-perience gained In a few such convivial convivi-al gatherings as New Year's Eve celebrations cele-brations that more than two glasses of any beverage with net content exceeding ex-ceeding the niggardly legal per cent meant nausea. John was loath to accept more than one drink on most occasions ; he had a profound fear of that state of mind and body In which he knew neither what he was doing nor very well how to do It As he sat second to the row of waiting wait-ing victims In the barber shop this bright morning, John Petwlne was doing do-ing his mental loveliest best to put two and two, or even three and one, together to make four. Something had happened the night before. His memory retained certain all too vivid Impressions; brief puffs from a slim cigarette under a white arc light; streaming yellow rays from a doorway flung wide In the hasy darkness dark-ness of the night;; a girl's quick, sharp cry for succor; a swift dash of courageous, chlvalrlc footsteps; scarlet globules of red blood trickling from two dark apertures above two rows of gleaming Ivory teeth. John Petwlne recalled this bizarre series of mental Images only too poignantly. What did they signify? What part had he played! Had he been the chivalrous suckerT Or what why when T "Next I" "Shave," said John Petwlne succinctly. "Bight," agreed Tony Oraglno with a smile. His standard routine joke was even then on the way. "But not too close a shave, eh, Jackf he added with proper emphasis. At this critical juncture the door opened and In stepped Fate. Fate was not an Italian, but no other wise was be remarkably different differ-ent from Tony Oraglno. They greeted ' each other cordially. " "Heard the latest developments ( asked Fate. "No," said Tony. "What's happened nowr "Mac's ready for the boapltal and an unknown guy has grabbed Marie 1" He literally hurled the words out with considerable vehemence. The lather-laden rasor poised some six Inches above John Petwlne's left temple. "You don't say se I" ejaculated Tony. "Sure," Fate went on, 'This new guy has butted In and swatted Mac and then disappeared right off the bat and Marie with him. They can't be found anywhere." "But Marie I" Tony was protesting mournfully, 1 waa In love with Mariel"' Had It not been for the razor edge pressed so closely against his left cheek, John would have squirmed In his chair. He tensed his muscles to hold himself rigid. It would never do to show his consternation. "Righto," agreed Fate. "But there'll be something doing by tonight, sure. They're on his trail." , "No suspicion as to who the guy lr demanded Tony. "None at all, aa far as I can see. But they've got a hunch as to where he is," Fate explained. Tony was beginning to shave under John's chin. The Icy sweat actually trickled. John's morning after Icepack Ice-pack was figuratively materializing. "I hope they get himl" said Tony fervently. "T weuld serve the but-tlnsky but-tlnsky right 1" John's heart was In his throat, but he didn't dare swallow just then for fear of Jiggling the Adam's apple that was the center of the razor's attention at that precise moment Wby-oh-why had he ever taken to drink? "That's alir aaked Tony, calming perceptibly. The jugular vela of bis patient was no longer In any Immediate danger. The barber was about to get the hot towel. "Isn't that enough T" retorted Fate "Here's the paper. Ton can read It for yourself." He handed a copy ef the previous night's Record to Tony. "Thanks," said Tony, taking It "I'd buy It myself. Jim, but as long as you get It every night and Bring It around ao I can read" "Forget the old gag, Tony, and watch wbafll turn up tonight" With which words Fate departed. With the steaming doth smothering his perspiring feature the sweat was no longer cold John Petwlne's memory mem-ory mists cleared entirely away. "That was a close shave," he mui mured to himself, not without some awe, remembering that he had consumed con-sumed the lsst of his Christmas brew a bit over one glass before read lng the lateet installment of the newspaper news-paper serial of the year, "Marie th Marvelous," while retlrln the sight before.