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Show . i I " ?S M RURE" ) V ' By DR. KNOX CALDWELL J IF (CupyrlKlit, Ijy Dully Ktury l'ub. Co.) IArlstldes LycurgiiH Drawn, otherwise other-wise known as ''Slltiiiory" Drown, tho "Duko," sat forlornly beside n little tnlilo In tho "Cnfu I.a Continue." Mel-nncholy Mel-nncholy had claimed hlin nn her own, for hl8 Boft hut wns ptillod down over Ills forohend nnd bin ImiidH were Jam-hied Jam-hied deeply Into his trousers pockets, cxpoHlng two long, hony ciilTlcss : wiIbIh. TIiIb mcnnl that Drown nnd I'roaporlty wore temporary strangers, Tor, ordinarily, tho "Duke" was nioro particular concerning IiIb nttlro thai) u finicky feutnlc. 1 strolled over nnd shipped 111 t n on tho Bhoitldor, Slowly Diown gathered hlniself to-Kothor to-Kothor and looked up, nnd I novor ho-hold, ho-hold, heforo or since, Htich n woe-bo-Kono, Borrowful, resigned, please-hit-mo-wlth-a-hrick expression on n hti-Linn hti-Linn cotintcnnnce. "Whnt's tho matter?" 1 naked. . "Woll," Bald Drown, "I'll toll you. Hut If you over hrcntho n word of It to ti living soul, I'll haunt you to the grave and then sonic. 1 nln't nuxlous Tor peuplo to know that 1'vo boon running run-ning In opposition to H. 'A. Mnrk." "A couple of weeks ago," ho began, In funorcnl toncB, "1 thought I'd tnko a llttlo trip Into tho country and hunt up soma of that simple Ilfo wo've read so much about. Incidentally, Boeing that business 1b nlwnys business, busi-ness, oven In vacation time, I do-sldod do-sldod to tako tho little shells and o three-card outfit along In enso any shnnco acquaintance should bo overburdened over-burdened with any tainted money. "I wandered nround for a day or two without meeting anything profitable profit-able until finally I lauded In a llttlo town by tho name of Ilopklnsvlllc, nwny down on tho left hand edgo ot Indlnnn. Now, Hopklnsvlllo didn't havfi no stock exchange, nor oven a Cumeglo library, but It looked to mo llko a stick of striped candy does to a hungry kid, and I decided to tarry for a few days. "I was sitting out In front of tho hotel ono day," continued tho "Duke," after, a moment of ovldently painful recollection, "when n llttlo, dried up old fellow, with a hunch of chin whlskeiB that stuck out llko a paint - k, brush drove by and stopped nt the I ft bank. ! fi E " 'Well, dang my buttons,' remark- ' w ed ono of tho chair warmora near by, I 11$. . Kf that hain't ol' Ilczeklnh Ilonoy- T MiW micklo a-goln' tow th' bank again, k "If'Jr Why, that ol' cub has got moro money 1 now an' ho knows what to (low with.' Ml "I knew nnd I bIUI off that chair and f 'ijp jlown tho Btrcot towards tho bank E !XJih.. ... llko a piece of butter on a hot plate. Kfl "The old follow was Just coming out B Sfcli llio door us 1 wont In, rnthor hustlly, ' Wt -and wo both sat down hard. Of courso ' 0f . 1 apologized profusoly, picked up his I I'll hat, brished his clothes and then help- ill ed him hunt for a quarter which ho ll'i- insisted ho had dropped when I jolted him In tho short ribs. After n fow x; inlnutoR search I found It nnd ro- I fjt Htoreil It to tho disturbed owned, nnd, right there. 1 mndo myself solid with j Hozeklch for llfo. Yes, sir, In less )' than ton minutes nfter our tumblo he , ' if' and I were pornmbulating down the g: , street, arm In arm, looking for n ft thirst parlor. ' w ''On tho way I oxplnlned to old Hon- f, J1 , oysuckle that my name was Col. t S ' Munn, that I was a rich banker from PI New York, and that tho doctors had l " ordered mo to quit muklng monoy for ' fi. week or two nnd got out In tho I fresh, wholesome air of tho country. L I could plainly seo that Hozoklah had IffS proper Idea of my Importance, for m' ho wanted to tako off his hat every . R tlmo I addrossed him, and ho hail a Js? disposition to add 'Sir' to ovory trlv- igv, lal remark. . Mi "I was wondorlng how I could turn ff Homo of this affection Into cold cash 1 Be whon tho old man himself took down C W, ' tho bars by asking mo If I would 1 R dolgn to spend a row days of my vnl- 1 1' uablo time oh his humblo and un- I r,. worthy farm. I almost shed tears of f,' Joy as I grnsped his horny hand nnd 'If ' told him that I would bo delighted. 1 "The noxt night, ufter Mrs. Honey- , ,i .. suckle, and all tho llttlo HonoyMickles ' ' had retired to tho loft. I produced the 1 Kay and festive llttlo shollH. Hezo- 1 Ih was lutoreatcd at once, nnd, nfter V I'd let him pick out tho shell that i " the pen was under half a dozon times, fiv I suggestod that wo bet a llttlo to give $. tho gamo flavor. ' "Bay, you novor snw n man got so . oxclted In your life. Ho plunged his yl hand into his pocket, pulled It out, put kh U UBllln' an(l tnon "1 ho Jumped, IK' f slapped something down upon tho m 'V t 1nblo with a bang nnd yelled: 'Dv I v Heck! I'll bet you I'll bet you i I , nickel I kin pick her out.' W ' , ' "Woll, thnt took tho heart out of rno, nnd, after. I'd sat thero nn hour . and lot that old yap win two dollars i ., , of my good monoy, I sauntered sadly tipntnlrs and throwed tho wholo out- f M ' fit, cards, shells und all, nut tho win- I" I "Dill, I ant around for two whole h I days doing nothing but concoct f W schomcH to got nhoad of that hoary- j k headed old skinflint. I believe I'd be f thero yot, too, If It hadn't beon for a JL. Columbus paper that IJezoklali brought , ' out from town ono day. Ho Bald he couldn't read hltnBolf, but ho wnnted . his company to havo all tho comforts I of homo. I had beon nway from civ . fi Dilution bo long that I nnnoxod that ' V, J paper In tho sanu fashion thnt a , '.'1 chicken grasps a largo fat worm. I I started In to resd everything from tl.' m a- Jokes to tho 'Hehi Wanted' column, but 1 did not get very fur until I ran up iigalnst an 'ad.' that rend llko this: ONH THOUSAND DOM.AllS UKU'AIU). 'AImivi- to Ihi pulil hy tli HmltliHottliin IiiHtltuti nf tlilx illy for it lioim llil ii'i'liiK'M of the Atrk'iiix'lta Aurou or golden wltiKvil bliicknip. Altliotmh rare, tlilx lilnl In ocriixliinittly found In tlifl HiirroiiniH'iK Rtnti-n iiml tlilx reward l of-fi-ri-il lo Mlmiiliitn Inlricnl iimoiiK ornl-tliotoKlHtH. ornl-tliotoKlHtH. Tim illxtlMKiitxIiInK cluirnctci'-little cluirnctci'-little of the Atrlcapi'llii Ih tlio beautiful KoMeii loliir of Un wIiihh nn contrasteil with the Jot lilacl of the reinulniler of ItM limly, Cliiliniiiit will pleimo deliver In porxon nnil receive rewaril.' "11111, did you ever go to bed at night, wishing bouiu one would give you n knockout dro) and put you out of your misery nnd then wnko tip In tho morning ns happy as an Alabama nigger with a new yellow silk vest? Well, tho latter accurately describes the way I felt when I got through perusing per-using thnt 'd.' In the paper. Why? Simply berausn a bird that fitted that lingo exactly was, at that very minute, Inhabiting nn old cage hung out on tho baok porch. I stowed tho pnper away In an Inside In-side pocket nnd ambled leisurely out to the hack porch whero Hezcklab was ruining his constitution ovor a big churn. "'Sny, Hez,' said I confidentially, 'you didn't know I was nn ornlthopol-oglBt, ornlthopol-oglBt, did you?' " 'Nope,' said Hezcklab, painfully Btrnightenlng tho kinks out ot bis back. 'Whnt's that?' "'That,' 1 responded, In my most condescending mnnnor, 'means that I'm nil the candy when It comes to birdies. " 'Why, I hnvo a collection of nearly a million kinds nt homo, and, ovory night, 1 go In nnd sit and look nt them for hours. My heart Ih sure wrapped wrap-ped up In chlckenB or birdies, 1 mean, and I think moro of my eollec Uon thnn I do of all my money. Hoze-klnh,' Hoze-klnh,' I put n lot of pathos In my tones. 'Only ono moro bird I need to mnko mo hnppy, and there ho hangs.' I pointed dramatically to the old cage. 'Old friend,' 1 squeezed out n tear, 'how much will you tako for him?" "Hozoklah scratched Ills head and pondorcd tho subject. 'Ho ought to bo wurth n dollar,' ho said finally. Was I tickled? Woll, sonio. "Hero's five,' I Bald, putting my hand In my pocket. 'And thank "'Hold on thero a mlnlt,' interrupted interrupt-ed thnt old villain, 'I didn't sny I'd sell him for n dollar, did I? Now thoro's my boy Tommy that kotchod tho critter. I reckon Tommy would fool mighty bnd If I was to sell hlra. Colonol, I'd llko to oblccgo you, but thoro's my child's fcolln's to consider.' con-sider.' "Well, wo haggled and bargained and talked and finally Hczeklah agreed to lot mo hnvo that bird nnd cngo for $87, caBh money. When I finished handing ovor thnt largo Juicy bunch of coin, I found thnt I had Just four lonesome sllvor dollars between mo and tho poor farm. Howover, that was enough to convoy mo to Columbus. Colum-bus. "1 landed In Columbus with tho bird cage done up In brown pnpor, ten cents In monoy, nnd a thirst that fnlr-ly fnlr-ly scorched my throat. Mebbo I didn't stretch holes In tho pavoment looking for tho Smithsonian Institute. "There was a young follow behind tho desk when I sailed majestically In with my bird cage, nnd ho asked mo pleasantly what I wanted. "'Want?' said I In tho mannor of a John D., 'I want thnt thousand dollars for a real live specimen of a Ater-caterpillar Ater-caterpillar Aurora. I'vo got It horo with me. too.' "Tho young fellow looked kind of puzzled till I shoved tho 'nil. In the pnpor undor his nose, nnd then ho smiled nffnbly and wanted to seo tho bird. I ynnked tho cago up on top nf tho desk and pulled off tho wrapping paper. " 'Thero ho Is,' I shouted. 'Tho only llvo ono In captivity. 8top right up, ladlos and gents, nnd Now what In tho douce Is tho mattor with you?' Suy, that guy's faco was as red as a beet, and he looked ns If ho was going to have a fit. Then ho lot out a yoll and a whoop nnd tried to tie n fow knotB In himself. "'My dear man,' ho snld at hiBt, breathing llko a horse with tho heaves You've been bunkoed, skinned, film-flammed! film-flammed! It's a common, ordinary, cvory-day crow,' ho gasped, and as If to prove It, that blasted bird lot out it long cnr-spllttlng 'caw.' " 'Dut,' I howled, when I got my second sec-ond wind, 'n crow's all black. Look at thoso wings. That'B gold or I don't know gold when I seo It.' '"Yes, gold paint, Bald tho young man softly as ho opened the cago and pulled that Imp of blackness out. 'Seo.' I saw, nil right, for tho b tit ft came off all over his bunds. 1 didn't wait for any further demonstrations, but made, a rapid stampede for tho door .lust as 1 got a good grip on tho knob, that. ungrateful black biped lot out another an-other 'enw' as atfpnvtlng shot, and 1 fairly burnt up tho hldownlk getting out of that neighborhood. "Dill," concluded the "Duke," plte-ously, plte-ously, "I wnlkod clear from ColumbUB, and I didn't hnvo anything to eat for two wholo, days but u couplo of dog-biscuit, dog-biscuit, that no respectublo )g would touch. Dut them misfortunes ain't what broko tho brnvo-nml loyu, heart of A. Ij, Drown. It was having a prize package llkp that handed to liio when I was awako und t tho ixist of duty. wim" ' |