Show MOMEN Copyright ht 1911 by C. C N N. Mather Muther I 1 THINGS WE E HAVE NEVER SEE SEEN AEROPLANES are arc r divided into two r general classes viz Iz monoplanes und and biplanes The 7 monoplane h has hai a i only onh one ono plane I and the biplane has ha two two- 4 mono t J meaning one ono and 1 POY bl hi meaning two Q J I There ro are about abou seven fifty varieties of or each cla class s i The biplane does not flap its wings 1 up ane and down In flight as doe doc the goose or 01 that other celebrated bird of ot pa passage age the turkey y Tho wings i r 1 l. l main stationary and the only thing thine about the biplane that flops is the tall talland and th this il goes s-oes arund anund at the rat rate o of or j four our million revolutions per second When hen a biplane Is doing Its It makes a which resembles a ac across cross between u a. sawmill and a boiler bolter 1 factory It rattles like tho the bones end of or a R. minstrel first part and sends t forth Corth an aroma like e that of ot a combination combInation combi combI- nation nallon tannery and glue factory t Tho The quietest one I have heard heard sounded like a 9 automobile going over oyer a a. corduroy road with is diaphragm diaphragm dia dia- dla- dla hanging hanging- against Its rear axle I dont don't know where the smokestack Iton U It Uon on the biplane The They keep It careful concealed and I dont don't know when hen they I dump their ashes They sta stay up two I or three hours at a n time and never spill a n thing on the crowd excepting perhaps a few Cew monkey wrenches and now and then a a. or an aviator The the most mo-Jt graceful and the tho fastest of all air all craft It carnies carries carries car car- ries nies its revolving rc tail in front and l k Ilko n I t u i 4 to war The aviator rides on top of ot t 1 it the same as on one would ride a buckIng buck buck- I Ing lug broncho or 01 a wooden giraffe on a merry go The engine engino of ot tho the monoplane is so arranged that you ou donot donot do donot not have to crawl cra underneath It and lie on your our back to fix it as was often otten I the case with the older type hpe of ot J automobile I do not think that a single sin sin- In- In gb gle aviator lator ever crawled under his hH 1 machine to fix it while it was in theal the al air The main d difference between a monoplane and a biplane is that In a R monoplane you ou have only one chance while In a u. biplane you OU are said to have havo two but whether it I is two chances to get ct killed or two chances to escape I really have forgotten for r I think it depends a great deal ElJ upon which kind is IR sold b by the tho party part from CrOm whom you OU are get getting ling your tion I understand that aeroplanes arenow are arenow no now being perfected which c cannot fall faH A han hangar al' al is Ig a hangout f for l' l the aeroplanes aero acre planes when the they are not flying I j 1 have spent pent a great deal of ot time around the hangars conversing pleasantly with men who seemed to be not only j willing but a anxious to give gi out Interesting Inter Inter- esting Information I 1 was told b by one of these men h aeroplane er n that h t p o. o lI J iuli JH SS in III course of A man said that he lie had Invented a biplane which could not be coaxed cOR down out of the air all even een with witha a lump Jump of ot sugar or an ear of ot corn He Ho said that the only way they could pull his aeroplane down was to hook a hawser to it and pull It down with sith a ahi hi power high locomotive On the first trip his pet aviator could not get the machine down and had to sta stay up five days When they ther finally arranged a cannon and anti shot a line Jine over the machine ma ma- I chine and pulled It down by means of ot ofa ofa a freight engine tho the poor aviator was almost starved 1 The aviators get 2 a minute for tor staying staying- up in the air and I couldn't but reflect upon the tho inequality of or things In this world I have been heen up i In the thc air for tor several years but have hart received no such price as 2 52 a silo nUn minute ute for It There have even been times tines when I have had to pa pay to for l' l th the liege S. S ELEGY OF THE AUTO The boast of heraldry the pomp of or power And all th that thit t beauty of or tho the fine tine machine ma z chine Give wa way alike In the inevitable hour jour When Then suddenly youre you're out of ot gaso gaso- line p.- p. t |