| Show 1 SON 13 T OF jj j a aBill j a ITIS Bill Haskins bought a II now machine machino which was vas propelled b by gasoline He straightway l ht went and filled the tank and then he ho started In to crank with muttered curso curse and vicious yank and gave vent to his spleen Tho The things Bill Bm Haskins didn't know about Just how that car air should go would flU fill a large and heavy book but he pave gave not nota a n. second look but jumped right In bravely and tool took a n. chance and let her hero go o Up to that time hed he'd alwn always s 's been I Ithe the most conservative of men but when whon he grasped d that steering wheel a reckless feeling seemed to steal oer o'er him and made his senses reel In giddy style and then he lie pulled the thing I 1 wide open and he hit the piko to beat the band Ho gave the horn an angry toot and took tho muffler off oft to boot and let her at the top speed scoot and gloried In his sand This glorious rec rec- ord breaking ride rido d terror through the countryside The They said Bills Bm craz crazy with the heat when ho stood right up In the seat scat and yelled and screamed and stamped his feet and waved his hat beside Tho The auto- auto had gained full control of oC I this poor lad He killed three mules mulo I and seven cows cons which no sort of oC state stata law Jaw allows and jumped the road like Ilka mad But suddenly he lost control His auto tried to climb a pole In baskets the they picked up poor Bill and took him to a surgeons surgeon's mill and stuck his members on until they'd thod made him almost whole In hospital six months Immured was WM what ho hI patiently patiently pa pa- endured and when at last they set him freo free beyond a doubt j I plain to see of oC ho had I once for tor all been cured ANSWERS ANS TO CORRESPONDENTS TS Inquirer You sa say your teeth chatter chatter chatter chat chat- ter terribly at nl night ht In cold weather and ask what to do That's oas easy In Instead Instead Instead In- In stead of leaving them out on the marble marble marble mar mar- ble topped bureau at night wrap them carefully In an old flannel undershirt and put them under tho the coal stove or in the fireless cooker Madge Wo We think It would be bo perfectly perfect per per- proper for you sou to go to the moving mo ing Ing- picture show with the young man if as you Sou OU sa say he has plenty of oC money and can afford It Housewife You ask us what to stuff a turkey with Stuff it with your hands of oC course If it nobody Is looking Perc Percy If Ir your our young lad lady friend cats cat's garlic it is a sign that she Is at least indifferent to you OU and InrI you oU are probably wasting your time Violet Yes dear we wo believe In votes for tor women but tho the trouble I is we never nevel get a chanco chance to vote voto for one Priscilla You ask in Instructions on how v to get set of off a street car quickly Refuse to pay your oUr fare I A. A ACCORDING TO L UNCLE ABNER Er There are so many ways of getting to heaven hea nowadays that there is sure going to be an awful collision If they all try to run rum Int into the terminal st station Uon at the same came time The best thing thing- about advice Is la that it It- dont don't cost oost nothing which by bj thenay the way nay Is about all that the most of It f ItIs Is Grandpa Bibbins says eoys the trouble with pie Is that most of It Is cut just justa a too wide for his mouth Rod had a photograph of or his bank roll taken the other da day He wants to have it enlarged It Is more ble blessed sed ed to give than to receive Also more expensive It Is said that a soft answer away wrath but this is not true when I. I you answer a stump speakers speaker's argument argument argument ment with an antique |
