Salt Lake Herald-Republican | 1911-11-05 | Page 28 | Fables in Slang

I Fables Fables- in n Slang Slana fy I BV By George eor e Ade e The he e 1911 Fable of the W Women omen men Who o Were ere Opposed to Vivisection Except Within the Union E 19 JM N J. J r C F c.-F Cb b P. Iq I i jr PE I 1 JI J- J T T I 1 i c I I I IL L tuN s sA A IIIi I i 1 i al 1 c l I I o Ir U i rl Ji 1 i f J 4 I I 1 I 1 w I Ir I ii Ii r b bi i i ii i I u It R I uta ua 1 1 II I I ICa Ca I I 11 I j i n i f II I i I Rf UPON AL WoN WoN-r vp rriE tt R R SH E v NC C E there were cre were Three ec Women omen ONCE OC O who got bot together of an afternoon afternoon afternoon after after- noon and went Into Executive Session and proceeded to sew Buttons Buttons on n the thc Critter known as Man Ian They were all aU Charter Members rs oC of the thc Inner Circle of the Lady d Harp Harpooners Harpoon Harpoon- ners n- n ers and talked from the Heart 1 eart Number One said she loved her herVatt Walter Walter r But Then she proc proceeded ded to amplify the But for abo about Jt three- three qu quarters of an Hour at th the E End d of oi Which Time the Partner of of or Tier her Sorrows Sorrows Sorrows Sor Sor- rows looked like Uko H- H Decimal fraction tion tl n with a a. Minus linus Sign In front of oit 9 ft Number Two T tipp tipped d It off that thai Fred was all a Woman Yoman could ask for for for- I Only Then the she went went to work world T and I Eviscerated him and dragged dragg d the quivering Ren Remnants Remnant nant over o a a. Fence I Number Three confided ll that Henry Henn would he all right right right-If If After Arter she got through putting Identification Tags on n nhim In the Social him hint he was hovering ho Scale Scalo between cn a DI Digger g-er g Indian and a allfred Hired Assassin Just when the they had the Male Contingent Con Con- era erased ed from the Map a Lad Lady Friend joined the Group She was a a. Over Hold and amI had been e about on the Bargain Barg-aln Counter until she was ivas Shelf Worn orn consequently she was an Object of or Pi Pity to all members of the tho Fair Fall S Sex x who were Happily Married lar led prod Producing a a. Opener Can from her Vanity Ba Bag she r removed ed the Lid from froma a lI rich h and Juicy lot of or Scandal which her Brother had picked d up at the Club Speak Speaking ng as a Friend she thought It her Duty to put them Hep to what Every cry One was wag saying ab about ut Walter Vatter and Fred FIed and Henry Benn Whereupon hereupon all TI Three went up into the Air simultaneously and began to Aviate Number One Orie said aid that Walter was One Man in ina in-a a Thousand and told her Eel Everything thing Number u ber Two proved IrO that Fred never never nev nev- er got Mud lud on his Wings Whigs except when he was trying to protect a Friend Number Three Intimated that Henry Henr was never safe from Attack because so many ninny of the Would Would-Bes were envious of or his Social Prominence The Spinster made a e a running Escape Escape Escape Es Es- cape under a White Flag while the faithful Wives cs Joined Hands and did the Grizzly Grizzl Bear on the Shreds of her Reputation MORAL They ma may be Home- Home Roosted Roasted but never Burned at the Stake Cop Copyright Ig 1911 by George e Ade n