| Show y y n Rounding the Bases Five reasons I want to tobe tobe tobe be NFL commissioner Jeren W. W Canning Senior Editor NFL Commissioner Paul announced in February that he will be stepping stepping stepping step step- ping down from the top of the football mountain has been the big for 17 years and has helped the NFL surpass baseball as the number one sport in the country Several people have expressed interest in the job which will become open in mid-June mid or July One person who has already thrown his hat into the ring is Florida Governor Jeb Bush brother of President George W. W Bush But Gov Bush truly has no sports management experience ence unlike his big brother who previously was part- part owner of the Texas Rangers Since no clear candidate has emerged I would like to nominate one erS erS' DJ me I would run fort for job job-as as if if were a presidential election IJ P would be one of the fans that listen to other fans to change everything that is wrong with the sport There are five platforms platforms platforms plat plat- forms on which I would run First off performance enhancing drugs will not be tolerated If youre you're juiced youre you're done in the NFL Ill I'll even give you the benefit of the doubt the first time your test comes up positive you will be given a year one-year suspension suspension suspension sus sus- sus- sus pension from the NFL no ifs ands or buts The second time the test comes up positive you get the Pete Rose treat- treat you ment-you will be banned from the NFL and any NFL activities for life If the players play play- ers dont don't like it tough go play that mutant football in Canada Second the players already make outrageous amounts of money If they're so destitute that they need needmore needmore needmore more they should start per per- forming In the real world your boss doesn't give you a raise if youre you're slacking off otT every day Ill I'll only show you the money if you show me a good game The equation is pretty simple if a player plays well then fans will watch or go to the games which generates money then in turn that money can be given to the players Along the same line as money is my third platform If the players feel that they are getting shafted and decide that striking is the way to go my statement will go something like this If you want to strike that's just fine but if youre you're not in the locker room on Monday you wont won't have a place on the team For those that choose not to show up I would personally personally personally per per- make a phone call to each and every college senior and invite them to play in the NFL The strikers could come comeback back any time but they to i would have have to to play I ups ups' I Corporate endorsements will be my fourth platform There will be no more Chicago Bears brought to you by Naming a stadium after a corporation is fine but corporate logos will not be on the playing field This is the NFL not Football presented by Wal- Wal Mart Last as my junior high wrestling coach used to say You are representing your school The players are representing representing representing rep rep- resenting not only the NFL but the United States and should be classy when traveling traveling traveling travel travel- ing and when playing These are just a few of the changes I would make as commissioner of the NFL And I know that the chances of the NFL owners approving me as the new are none but it wont won't be long until Bud Selig is done with the |
