| Show Harry Potter The Prisoner of The Fad Drags On Allen Johnson Staff Writer I had a dream once where everyone finally realized that all the Harry Potter movies were a mush of poor story telling and heinous acting Alas it was just a dream and I awoke to a world still enamored with the juvenile fad that is the Harry Potter series This third installment The Prisoner of finds the threesome of Harry Ron and Hermione in their third year at Hog warts The only real forwarding plot point is that a prisoner named Sirius Black has escaped He is rumored to be the one who killed Harrys Harry's parents and is out to finish the job and get rid of the young wizard The rest of the minutes minutes minutes min min- utes are filled with pointless pointless pointless point point- less and random events that leave you wondering what fantastic drink was being passed around during the writing of the script How dare I challenge the literary genius of the godlike godlike godlike god god- like JK Rowling Here is ismy ismy ismy my disclaimer I 1 have not read the books Right now all the Potter fans are throwing their hands up in disgust and saying well you gotta read them I tried to get through the first one and gave up after the first 50 pages I had enough of grade literature literature literature litera litera- ture when I was there Here is the bottom line Movies are movies Books are books They are not the same medium just like an anoil anoil anoil oil painting will never look like a water color no matter matter matter mat mat- ter how much you want one oneto oneto oneto to resemble the other All three of the Harry Potter movies have had tremendous plot holes and giant slews of random unexplained information When I present these questions questions questions ques ques- to the Pro-Potters Pro the constant refrain is well it explains it in the book So in order to understand why I just saw some glowing glowing glowing glow glow- ing deer that this kid thinks is his nis dad I have to dredge through hundreds of pages of over-hyped over fiction No thanks- thanks Ill I'll go watch something something something some some- thing with more substance like runs re-runs of the Cosby Show Its It's impossible to capture everything from a book in a movie So dont don't try to Hit the high points and tell them well Otherwise it just looks like poor stol stol- storytelling story story- telling and bad ing ma in n f Plot lot holes aside these kids just flat out cant can't act When Harry and Hermione survive a dangerous encounter with the Ring Wraiths oops I mean the and all that comes out of our damsel is isa isa isa a flat oh that was scary how am I supposed not to laugh Red headed Rons Ron's only job in the film is to whimper whimper whimper whim whim- per say bloody and make funny faces He does nothing noth noth- in ing ina a else Hermione is our ode to woman power and equality ty- ty except when things are scary Harry is our moody hero whose light light- ning like scar has a bad oad habit of wandering all over his forehead Continuity people come on They are all portrayed as I shallow single level characters characters char char- I whose every action is heavily dictated and I blocked out And the supporting supporting sup sup- supporting porting cast is worse There were too many times where line delivery from minor characters resembled the sensation I get when someone drags a handful of iron nails down a chalk chalk- board I know I am a minority in my opinion of this series Its It's not too late to back out and realize how silly this whole thing is I await the day where we can all step away and shelve Harry Potter next to the New Kids on the Block jelly shoes natural disaster movies Tickle Tickle- Tickle Tickle-Me-Elmo's Me- Me Elmos Elmo's and reality TV shows grave periods of ness fad-ness when a lack of things to do doled doled doled led to these surges in m brain inactivity Save the children save yourself Only you can Prevent prevent more Harry arry Potter 3 10 s J j jl L r l I J j f f a c f f II I. I 1 fJ i I w r i I N I a Hermione Emma Watson Harry Daniel Radcliffe and andRon andRon andRon Ron Rupert Grint sneak out of Hut |
