| Show Redefining Sexual Harassment JJ Eggers Eggers Opinion Editor Theres There's some pretty absurd things that go down in this crazy world we all know about that overly ostentatious lady who sued McDonalds McDonald's because her coffee was too hot all the people who used the piece of merchandise merchandise merchandise dise from the last Harry Potter flick known as the Nimbus 2000 as a form of sexual entertainment entertainment entertainment enter enter- and all the people who rushed out and bought some book that was released in the sixties sixties sixties six six- ties or sometime because Oprah put it on her stupid booklist and it became a best seller all over again Yep some pretty absurd things go on in this world But perhaps one of the craziest things that go on especially in the workplace is all the pretentious proceedings that define sexual harassment Read on Any litigation Jackson lawyer will tell you if you ask him or her about what defines sexual harassment and hell he'll most likely tell you that any fondling propositioning propositioning propositioning of any sort importing any pornographic material or pictures pornographic or su suggestive suggestive sug sug- images on the computer making inappropriate suggestions suggestions suggestions about an employees employee's appearance making statements that women are inferior to men attempting to use ones one's position as a supervisor to obtain an employees employee's acceptance of sexually sexually sexually ally inappropriate behavior or an employees employee's romantic affections gawking or leering at an employee employ employ- ee touching an employee inappropriately inappropriately inappropriately including in some cases hugging kissing rubbing against someone caressing ones one's shoulders or back other unwanted unwanted ed physical contact requiring employees to wear suggestive clothing and telling inappropriate ate sexual jokes or remarks WHOA That's a mouthful Oops was that wrong to say mouthful No but seriously folks by creating all these rules See Harassment on page 11 1 k Harassment 1 continued from page 10 we haven't left much open for normal social interaction and suddenly by introducing yourself to someone of the opposite sex means you were trying to get in their pants and they're going to hit you with big legal baseball bat t l I a b bel e l e d df f Propositioning ro and everyone will see the mark markit it left on you Now certain things are under- under I. I I Example if the II person in the i- i f cubicle adjacent r to you emails f you images of brash pornography pornography pornography phy or pictures of people engaging engaging engaging ing in bestiality everyday to your mailbox that's I sexual harassment harassment harassment harass harass- ment if J you vou b O. O grab crab rab on the flyer on your windshield windshield wind wind- windshield shield while you were at work and work from nom home Also why wouldn't anyone want to be gawked at like a sex object I do It only means that youre you're attractive attractive attractive tive and do desirable-do you have a problem with that If youre you're were an overweight female sasquatch who is con- con fined cf f 4 ri- ri ladies if you think if a guy at work asks you out on a date is harassment than you watch too much lifetime TV and you'll probably probably probably proba proba- bly die an old maid J b O. O a woman womans woman's s I breasts that's sexual harassment unless she likes it or even some a of the afore mentioned acts save f rubbing against someone t come on or caressing ones one's shoulders or back I dont don't know one person who couldn't use a massage The only way this one should be understandable is if their exterior is is iss embossed in a arar rare rare form foe rm of airborne HIV Z HIV If you think youre you're too good to be rubbed against then perhaps you should take up the job adver- adver fined cf f 4 ri- ri to up stir-up pants for life then you probably probably probably ably wouldn't mind being assaulted by some dudes eyes every once in In awhile Besides flirting flirting flirting flirt flirt- ing at work is fun I recommend recommend recommend mend trying it sometime just make sure you stop before you get into practicing those Kama Sutra maneuvers maneuvers maneuvers maneu maneu- vers they print in Cosmo And perhaps ladies if you think if a guy at work asks you out on a date is harassment than you watch too much lifetime TV and you'll probably die anold an anold anold old maid because you never met anyone- anyone you just sued them Or youre you're a lesbian The moral of the story is to lighten up unless someone is sucking on your leg if you dont don't want them to- to dont don't make permanent permanent perma- perma I nent solutions to temporary lems C 0 |
