Show Prairie Dogs Attempt to Take 9 Over the World r f. f j o J 0 u tF t- t 1 p pt a F t i iA f 0 A f i c t o d ii i- i iL LA L- L f A vi i J Jr r S l By JJ Eggers a. a Opinion Editor r. r The most recent virus to scare America isn't SARS its it's mon- mon w which actually has nothing nothing nothing noth noth- ing to do with monkeys but butr r rather prairie dogs Ma Maybe be its it's all of yet America L' L not scaring but for now the source of the theIr Ir problem is the same place we get l' l i our c cheese h eese fr from om W. W Wisconsin The truth is contact with one oner r prairie dog has started what could be an epidemic as the is responsible for prairie dog more than half of the 34 diagnosed diagnosed I in nosed cases of J Illustration by JJ Eggers Wisconsin The prairie dog made his way from a pet store to a household to a veterinary clinic and then to another veterinary clinic when he affected the original 18 cases It also infected a confirmed number of three people a suspected suspected suspected sus sus- sus- sus nine and another probable six cases So basically the little guy got around more than Britney Spears in a circle of male pop stars The prairie dog is dead now but his legacy continues to thrive as reported cases of affected animals animals animals ani ani- mals continue to come in and th they yul d t eve even h have aye direct direct contact contact contact con con- tact tact with the prairie dog This m means means ans we hav have no idea how big this epidemic co could ld be This is the first ever outbreak of in the Americas Epidemiologists are working hard to track prairie dogs and other animals in the upper Midwest in hopes of understanding understand understand- ing the virus more As of now we know that it is spread by contact of lesions on the skin In three other states there are 51 further cases of human cases of the virus The states include 1 case casein casein casein in New Jersey 33 in Indiana and 17 in Illinois Health officials in Wisconsin are encouraging people people people peo peo- to report any suspected illness illness illness ill ill- ness as the number of cases there continue to rise The cases usually begin with animal to human interaction mostly from pest stores and veterinary veterinary veterinary vet vet- clinics Namely the t inal final two but human to numan human cases are on the rise in which this is a mutated version of smallpox My hypothesis though is that the virus was introduced by giant upright-standing upright prairie dogs in space that intend on overthrowing overthrow overthrow- ing our planet by introducing infected miniature versions of themselves I dont don't think its it's going to work though the giant alien prairie dogs will have to come up with a more efficient plan of action to rid the earth of humankind than mon mon- Well We'll probably have this one quelled in six months C |