Show 2 r f. l i The e Passing of 0 Common CommonSense 0 on Sense ense n.- n. d I Author Unknown Staff Writer Today we mourn the passing of an old friend Common Sense Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucrat bureaucrat- ic is red tape He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools hospitals hospitals hospitals hos hos- homes and factories helping helping helping help help- ing folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness For decades petty rules silly laws and frivolous lawsuits help no power over Common Sense He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair Common Sense lived by simple simple simple sim sim- sound financial policies dont don't spend more than you earn reliable parenting strategies strategies strategies strate strate- gies the adults are in charge not the kids and its it's okay to come in second A veteran of the Industrial Revolution the Great Depression and the Technological Revolution Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing whole language and new math But his health declined when he became infected infect infect- ed with the only one virus worth person In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing overbear ng regulations He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking self lawyers His health rapidly deteriorated deteriorated deteriorated dete dete- when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance poli poli- cies Reports of a year six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch and and a a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition It declined even further when schools had to get parental con- con r f r z image by Clegg sent to administer aspirin to a student student student stu stu- stu- stu dent but could not inform the parent parent parent par par- ent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband churches became businesses criminals received better treatment than victims and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports spotts When a woman too stupid to realize that a streaming cup of coffee was hot was was awarded a huge settlement Common Sense threw in the towel As the end neared Common Sense drifted in inand inand inand and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations regulations regulations regula regula- such as those for low flow toilets rocking chairs stepladders stepladders stepladders ders and auto emissions Common Sense finally succumbed succumbed succumbed suc suc- when while the United States was fighting a war on terrorism terrorism terrorism ter ter- ter- ter a federal judge declared the Pledge of Allegiance to be unconstitutional Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust his wife Discretion his daughter Responsibility and his hisson hisson hisson son Reason He is survived by two stepbrothers My Rights and nd Ima Whiner Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone C |