| Show One Wrong Misstep Buddy An All Editorial of Sorts By Dan Staff Writer My editor and I arrived at Soldier Hollow to cover the a little later than we had hoped on a day we were not soon to forget The Thc to second-to- last event was in full swing and skiers were whizzing every every- where Some were zipping up one hill some down another Others still were taking a shortcut shortcut shortcut short short- cut that led to a mini rifle range where they had five chances to hit the target This was the BIATHLON We wandered to the center of activity searching for a place to set up my nifty new camera Off in the distance I noticed two camera men next to the track I thought THAT is the place for me Not wanting to be improper I asked the closest SLOG volunteer if I l was allowed out that far- far you know that close to the track His exact words were AND I QUOTE You can cango cango 7 go out there just dont don't cross the start line His somewhat gruff manner took me aback I thought these labor free-labor jacket-flaunting jacket volunteer-type volunteer people were supposed supposed supposed sup sup- posed to be of the happy per per- J suasion This guy m must st have hav havey y l' l busted a shoelace this morning or something Anyway peering V. V V off offin in the distance I see two giant pillars that say start Figuring the point in question must run between the two I headed off taking a wide berth I Iwas was determined to avoid the kind of trouble I had gotten in at Rice-Eccles Rice stadium the night before during the opening opening opening open open- ing ceremony There I accidentally accidentally accidentally tally got too close to the action Okay fine I wanted to see how close I could get and ended up upon upon upon on the stadium floor inches from the performance stage Here I was stopped- stopped and stopped good Ouch As I traveled I glance back one final time at my Volunteer du Jour for guidance With an over-exaggerated over display display display dis dis- dis- dis play of mock assistance he motioned me up and over a two two- inch barrier that blocked my way The dork Bork I II r rI I proceed to track-side track ever so careful to avoid the start line Suddenly I felt a slight twinge in my right ankle I look down to see two ruts in the ground I thought to myself Someone must have dragged something pretty heavy there Dummy me As I approached the two camera men they met me with looks of disbelief l shock I anger I astonishment and any other statement of surprise that one who had the time could possibly possibly possibly pos pos- sibly think of I looked at them and asked Am AmI I not supposed to be here You weren't supposed to cross the start lane was the reply Start lane Start LANE crap Mr Congeniality back there must have said not to cross the thc start LANE I looked behind me mc Um- Um you know that lane lanc with th the e two ruts The ruts that were about as wide as a set of skis Are you planning planning planning plan plan- ning to come out here again during these games he blasted with a sneer that would send Freddy Kruger running This could not be good I looked back at my editor and Mr Nice Guy Volunteer My editor appeared to be hiding his face while the Big Guy ranted and raved I was in deep doo-doo doo A much higher SLOG SLoe official came darting out of the starting gate you know youre you're not supposed to cross the starting lane I plead ignorance ignorance ignorance igno igno- rance and fortunately have the face to make that believable He told me not to move from that spot until the last race had started and only then could I leave With a peep of relief escaping my lips he tromped back to the starting line I again glanced back at my editor He was out of here Finally all distractions aside I was able to begin my photographic mission- mission to capture on film the spirit and determination tion of athletes who have proven that physical impairment is only a state of mind I took some of the most spectacular photos of some of the most amazing athletes frame after frame I thrilled at this opportunity I left feeling I had aptly accomplished my task As I trudged back to where I had last seen my editor I was immediately accosted by my friend Mr Volunteer you hear me metell metell metell tell you not to cross the start lane he yelled spit flying at atme atme atme me like little missiles in the six minus-six degree temperature I said You jerk You big fat jerk How dare you scream at me when it was your own inability to clearly convey a message that caused this problem problem problem lem in the first place People like you should be sent to a farm dumb and forced to spend the rest of your lives trying in vain t to tp generate some intelligence intelligence intelligence intelli intelli- gence Out loud I said Sorry I misunderstood you Are you planning to come out here again during these games he hc blasted with a sneer that would send Freddy Kruger running Forcing myself not to get ruffled I looked at him and calmly said Well if I do I willbe will willbe willbe be much more learned now He glared at me Look I said I heard you say line not lane I thought you meant the area between the two pillars Obviously we have a communication communication communication cation problem Ill I'll know better for next time This seemed to diffuse the situation as he smiled thanked me and turned around This wasn't fair I hadn't gotten all my best zings in yet I took in a breath to start my own string of colorful metaphors for forme forme forme me that would be a lot of gosh- gosh es Bangs and a few fricken fetches What little common commonsense commonsense commonsense sense I had left prevailed however however however how how- ever and I turned and left I It t was now time for the medal ceremonies I hustled to where the staging area was but found that I again had to cross the track Oh no Not me I found myself incredibly shy gun-shy after that last episode See MISSTEP on page 16 |
