Show THROUGH RT I I Py fr t k 6 By Eric Bresee I Contributing Writer I have never professed to be a genius I have never thought myself to tobe tobe tobe be brilliant But I think I have a way to end all the troubles that are ailing sports today Abolish them You heard me right Abolish sports There is no need for sports any any- more With all the strikes and escalating escalating escalating ing salaries they are not fun anymore Sports used to be an outlet An avenue where fans could become free and clear of the the anger and hostility that ran their lives It is not an outlet anymore It is the cause Has anyone really truly forgiven baseball for the 1994 strike Not just the strike but the cancellation of the World Series I have not Yes I followed baseball more this year than before but that does not mean I think the owners are not the scum of the earth And the nitwit Bud Selig wanted to totally realign the two leagues What exactly was your thinking on that Bud You wanted to take the last pure tradition out of the game you already trashed Who cares Abolish baseball Unfortunately my beloved hockey is not immune from the audacity of sports Four of the leagues stars are on the sidelines due to contract squabbles Sergei Fedorov Detroit Paul Kariya Anaheim Alexander Vancouver and Michael Peca Buffalo are sitting at home watching their teams get smoked because they are not in the line John LeClair Peter Bondra an and i Keith sat out parts or all of the preseason because they wanted to renegotiate existing contracts Hey money-grubbers money you signed the damn contract Honor it Or better yet abolish hockey Michael Irvin is still playing in the NFL instead of rotting in a prison cell with Charles Manson Do I need to say anything else to prove we need to abolish football That leaves one of the four major sports that is yet to be abolished The Where to start First of all any league that allows a walking Miss Clairol billboard to kick a photographer in the groin should be abolished Any league that allows a human easel to a referee should be abolished Any league that allows an unproven year old to reject a million contract should be abolished Well that takes care of professional profession profession- al sports I guess it is time to start abolishing abolishing abolishing abol abol- the campus sports Why you ask The student body does not support them so why not Our soccer and volleyball teams are nationally ranked and the only way our Student Body President knows that is because she is reading the Horizon Well at least she is reading the Horizon There have been six home volley voll volleyball y- y ball games and only after an editorial that appeared in the Horizon did she grace the LAC with her presence Lets Let's abolish the sports we have and use that money for something useful useful useful use use- ful like bringing more country artists in concert to That is all we need more country concerts This newspaper dedicates three pages every week to this farce we call sports That That- Thatis is three pages that could go to something more important like Arts Entertainment Abolishing sports would be ful Not as beautiful as watching them though Excuse me while I go watch the women's volleyball game |