Show Politics and v Mastering The Nonsensical x r 0 BitO Bit O 0 Stuff By Sara and Craig Staff Writers What is it that makes politicians so popular We think that it might be their poetic prowess Listed below are some of the more humorous humor humor- ous statements politicians have made that we have come across Its a question of whether were we're going to go forward into the future or past to the back Ex- Ex Vice President Dan Quayle I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress especially members of the House and members of the Senate Ex- Ex Vice President Dan Quayle Outside of the killings Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country Mayor Marion Barry Washington DC D.C. That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass- jackass And Im I'm just the one to do it A congressional candid candidate ate in Texas Have we gone beyond the bounds of reasonable dishonesty CIA memo introduced during the Westmoreland CBS libel suit If Lincoln were alive today hed he'd roll over in his grave President Gerald Ford Remember Lincoln going to his knees in times of trial in the Civil War and all that stuff You cant can't be And we are blessed So dont don't feel sorry for for for-don't don't dont cry for forme forme forme me Argentina President Bush during a campaign speech in New Hampshire 1992 The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nations nation's histo- histo this ry-this century's history- history We all lived in this century I didn't live inthis in inthis inthis this century Vice Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle Hawaii has always been avery a avery avery very pivotal role in the Pacific It is in the Pacific It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here Vice Ex President Dan Quayle Were finally going to to the ground this giant orgasm that is just out of control Senator Dennis DeConcini of Arizona on a balanced budget amendment Im for abolishing and doing away with redundancy J. J Curtis McKay of the Wisconsin State Elections Board I Im m not going to discuss what Im I'm going to bring up-Even up if I dont don't discuss i it I Im I'm n not going to discuss it President Bush on his relationship with the press Mars is essentially in the same orbit Mars is somewhat the same distance from the sun which is very important We have seen pictures pictures pictures pic pic- tures where there are canals we believe and water If there is water that means there is oxygen If oxygen oxygen oxygen oxy oxy- gen that means we can breath Vice Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle During state of national emergency resulting from enemy attack the essential functions of the Service will be as follows 1 assessing collecting and recording taxes IRS Handbook 1976 If we let people see that kind of thing there would never again be beany beany beany any war Senior Pentagon official on reasons why US military cen cen- footage showing Iraqi soldiers sliced in two by US helicopter fire We are not ready for any unforeseen event that may mayor or may not occur Ex Vice Ex-Vice Vice President Dan Quayle Now like Im I'm President It i would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up you know I bet if they did I hope I would say i Hey get lost We dont don't want any of that President Bush to a group of students You all look like 1 happy campers to me Happy campers you have been and as far as I am concerned concerned con con- j i happy campers you will always be Vice Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle addressing a group of Samoans during a trip to the Pacific Things are more like they arenow are arenow now than they have ever been r President Gerald Ford China is a big country inhabited by many Chinese Charles de Gaull president of I F France ce part of American t greatness is discrimination Yes sir r. r Inequality I think breeds freedom and gives a man opportunity i Lester Maddox governor ex-governor of Georgia a ti c of new newa l f y a existing 1 law that that's 1 s in force r that that was wasn't as- as nt before President Bush on import laws We offer the party as a big tent How we do that within the platform platform platform plat plat- form the preamble to the platform or whatnot that remains to be e seen But that message will have to be articulated with great clarity Ex- Ex Vice President Dan Quayle Some programs have been theatrical masterpieces but all were we're seeing is the negative side of nuclear war Senator Barry Goldwater talking about TVs TV's portrayal por- por portrayal portrayal por por- of nuclear warThe war The President doesn't want any yes-men yes and yes-women yes around him When he says no we all say no Elizabeth Dole at that time assistant for public liaison to President Reagan The first would be our ly Your family my family which is composed of an immediate family of ofa a wife and three children a larger family with grandparents and aunts and uncles We all have our family whichever that may be Vice Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle WALTER MONDALE democratic candidate George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize GEORGE BUSH republican candidate Well on that manhood thing Ill I'll put mine up against his any time I stand by all the misstate- misstate f ments Vice Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle in response to criticism of his verbal blunders J lt r i |