Show When I Told You Id I'd Shoot You Didn't Believe Me 1 Simon Says r i By Thomas ThomasI I oI ol o- o I Editorial Editor l r I would like to start off by thanking whoever whoever whoever who who- ever found my Visa debit card and turned it in into into to the campus police Sometimes its it's difficult for a cynic like me meb meto b Nr r to believe in the good aspects of human nature and it is quite refreshing to discover that even in today's selfish world there is a littie little little lit lit- tle tie honesty Of course there is always the possibility f that whoever found it tried to use it-a it wasted effort Im I'm before afraid-before turning it in but I believe Ill I'll stick with the honesty theory so thank you whoever you are and keep up the good human act Now on to business Regular readers of this page may have noticed the that has been played out here since last quarter quarter quarter-in in the form fonn of letters to Sarah and Nikki the Editor by Metzger Calder Stuart Calder S I am reluctant to dissuade this plastic dialogue dialogue dialogue dia dia- dia- dia logue on the basis that most weeks their letters letters letters let let- are the only ones I I get-I guess everyone eh but eh but I feel that else ese agrees with me this has gone on long enough It is time to resolve this issue once and for all and allow some space for more meaningful discourse Therefore I providing propose both parties parties parties par par- ties have the courage of conviction t to actually actual actual- ly show up-a up debate between the two ladies in question I along with other Horizon staff will be glad to act as moderators and anyone who would like to watch is more than welcome welcome welcome wel wel- come to attend Since the time and location is entirely dependent on the acceptance of the involved parties I will allow two weeks for a response to this challenge of intellects In other words put up O or shut up If either Ms Stuart Calder-Stuart or Ms Metzger fail to respond to the to face-to-face challenge of a formal debate I will cease to print any more of their letters regarding homosexuality Fair enough So what do you say ladies Are you ready to stop hiding behind anonymity and go head- head to-head to on this or should we simply stop the whole childish charade of up one that this page has had the misfortune of being subject to for almost two quarters We here at Simon Says and indeed the whole of eagerly await your decision Now that that nasty little item has been handled can we please move on to some real issues and concerns I for one would appreciate appreciate appreciate it greatly For instance h has anyone else noticed that the skill level of Utah drivers seems to be befalling befalling falling about as rapidly as the stock market of 1929 We have never had a really good reputation on the road but lately I have witnessed some truly idiotic stunts all in the name of shaving that so ever-so-crucial milliseconds off ofT of the drive to work school or home What is it with us anyway Nobody utilizes utilizes utilizes uti uti- uti- uti lizes the signal function unless of course we dont don't want to turn for eight or nine miles and then that sucker is locked on Either that or orone orone orone one of our super-busy super little bees has hung the cord of the increasingly necessary car phone off of it Whatever the case this dangerous trend for Utah drivers just to mosey across three or four lanes of traffic has got to stop Know what I mean La LaVerle VerIe I have way too many driving issues to continue on unchecked but suffice it to say that how we drive not drive not only in hi other cities states etc has has an impact on how others view us With the Olympics a mere six years away we need to realize that if we are ever going to get over the perpetuated image of as inbred unintelligent hicks we had better start acting like were we're better than that and that includes our driving habits So please keep off the grass try to drive at least in the area of the posted speed limit dont don't park in handicapped spots unless you are this are this one is particularly annoying and I do give out tickets when I see offenders and above all else simply show some respect for those who share the road with you Oh and one last thing Hang up the car phone if you cant can't talk and drive at the same time If it is that important important important tant either stay at the office until you are finished finished finished fin fin- working or pull pullover over to the side of the road Those of us who have lives would like to keep them Until you are willing to have your car phone number printed on your license plate so drivers can call and let you know when youre you're screwing up kindly leave the thing on the hook unless it is an absolute emergency No trying to win free tickets to the rodeo from K-BUCK K is not an emergency Then again that's just my opinion I could be wrong J |