Show Sign of the times Since this is a college campus and intellectual pursuits are presumed to be the norm the Horizon invites you to try this little mental exercise Your assignment is to design the first line for a sign The entire sign must clearly inform drivers entering the campus that they must have a parking permit but that alternatively they may use metered stalls or the ever popular pay While groping for words one might initially come up with something like Dont Don't park anywhere unless you have a sticker A few seconds later after careful crafting and much polishing this might be refined to Parking Permit Required This is better but still falls far short of the ideal We must look to experts for the real answer New parking permit required signs promised by Assistant Assistant Assistant As As- to the President Brent Goodfellow Horizon Oct 9 1989 appeared a week ago Saturday and demonstrate the flair we have come to expect from our parking services Upon seeing the new signs the Horizon was flabbergasted flabbergasted flabbergasted to discover that our understanding of what constitutes constitutes constitutes con con- a parking notice sign was imperfect our imperfect our mental design sadly flawed The official specification for a parking permit required notice requires it to be small low to the ground and the first line must read Welcome to Salt Lake Community College This is not only certain to get every drivers attention during the three seconds the sign is visible while driving onto the campus but almost guarantees that every new visitor to will be eligible for one 5 SS S parking viola viola- tion Campus Security under the direction of Goodfellow is isto isto isto to be congratulated on bringing the art of revenue enhancement enhancement enhancement en en- to a new plane Campus Security has again proven that whatever it may lack in competence it more than makes up for in consistency The Horizon f feels el t that at the new signs are but a reflection ti n of campus parking policies in need of serious review The signs at best st demonstrate incompetence on the part of their designers At worst they represent an attempt to meet the he letter of the law wh while e fleeting fleecing students students' and I visitors 1 1 1 |