Show f Living in paradise c Michelle Brown Contributing Writer Im I'm the last of a c dying breed an extinct animal known as the housewife I unlike others love my house of disrepair my five boisterous children and our dog with multiple multiple multi multi- pie neuroses There are some people that say Im I'm crazy but I dont don't see it that way at all t 1 I love the roar of happy children and the loud persistent ring of the telephone I love prying a terrified hamster out of the jaws of a wet slobbery dogs dog's mouth I love hearing mom shouted out in a whine two or three hundred times a day I thrive on breaking up juvenile fist fights mopping up spilt Fruit Loops and endless reams of elementary school papers I feel comfortable with seven bikes in a heap on the garage floor and strange kids at my dinner table I have also found spilt lemonade to be a wonderful floor- floor wax remover Im I'm truly thankful thankful for for my little piece of paradise but paradise does docs have a small glitch or two Frequently my dirty laundry silently creeps down the stairs to strangle me The cans in my pantry plot against me and hide when I open the door My plants want more than a semi-annual semi watering The children think they should have more than one meal a day and that Im I'm responsible for all lost shoes and coats Even the dog thinks Im I'm responsible for the globs of dirty pink bubble gum stuck on her fur I wouldn't let little things like this drive me out of my house because Im I'm a devoted housewife One might ask What type of person en en- j joys ys organized chaos Well a wonderfully going easy-going light-hearted light person such as I enjoys organized chaos An incredible sense of humor helps too I can laugh when the dog chews up her third shoe of the week I make a game of finding dirty socks and hair brushes I rarely notice the pile of crusty dishes crammed in the sink and the blue goo stuck on the cabinet door If we forget to take the trash out that's okay Counting our trash bags lined up on the sidewalk gives the neighbors something to do not do-not not to mention something to gossip about I dont don't even mind borrowing a toothbrush a quick thirty seconds in the microwave probably kills some of the germs My house is what other describe as lived in I have no need to lock the doors a burglar would trip and break his leg before he could steal anything The last time I looked I couldn't even find the VCR because it was buried under three weeks worth of old yellow newspapers The kids leave food on the table so its it's easy to find I have a gigantic pile of shoes that seems to be reproducing at the front door All the while my broom statuesquely stands in the kitchen like a piece of fine art on display Staying at home is a pleasure for me I have everything I have ever wanted I have job security excitement a purpose in life and a reason to get up in the morning And if for some reason I dont don't get up I have six people that love me enough to kick me out of bed I can cook clean mop and grow mold in my refrigerator Believe it or not I love my little piece of paradise j.- j. |