Show Odeon An Evil Empire j By Mike Richan Contributing Writer Rolling Stone recently called them the devil Empire for their practice of converting large old palace theaters to multiple screen complexes Esquire Time and even our local papers have had stories on the Empire how its massive massive massive mas mas- sive screen count over 1200 nationwide and profits there there- from should more than offset the need to slice and dice some of the country's grand old theaters into shoe box screening rooms So I felt quite out of place raising my own selfish gripes about the Odeon theatre chain My personal compliments next to the monumental importance of the Desert News article may pale quite a bit may even seem trivial And even with this in mind I find myself a bit ungrateful Odeon operates most of this valleys valley's finer theatres especially downtown Seeing a film at Crossroads or the Centre even the older Trolley Square theatres is amazingly different than watching a film at MAnns MAnn's Flick theaters Ive I've seen more unfocused unframed un- un unframed unframed framed barely audible films at atThe atThe atThe The Flick than I can number It has become a kind of constant constant constant con con- stant there And its it's no theatre to see an epic in Remember The Last Emperor It opened at The Flick but later made its way to Crossroads and was louder bigger and better and there was an absence absence absence ab ab- ab- ab sence of feeling that something something something some some- thing was going to screw up So I hope you'll realize that if I have a choice Ill I'll pick Odeon oven Mann But because I do frequent the dark rooms of the Empire I have come across a few things tiny things really that are beginning to piss me off in a abig abig abig big way No its it's not the little janitor in my psyche and I have no wish to remove it Why just the other night I believe that little cartoon with its tink piano music precluded a dream of mine I know it was a dream because when his little janitor head popped out of the trash to say Thanks it was actually the face of Michael Caine No the cartoon is fine My first gripe is the damn Leg Nazis I understand that they believe they have a job to do that they're just helping to protect the theatre but from what When I go to the theatre I always sit up close in inthe inthe inthe the center section if you do this very often you find yourself yourself yourself your your- self addicted addict to the spot pot and then no other place in the theatre will work f for r you Anyway up so close it becomes becomes becomes be be- comes necessary to slouch down in the seat in order to see the screen without paining paining paining pain pain- ing your neck What do I do with my legs now that by slouching I have more of them I either rest my knees on the back of the seat in front if no one is in it or place them straight out onto the armrest of the seat before me Never will you find the sole of my shoe on anything made of cloth and never am I exerting undue pressure on the seat But apparently in Hitler class these youths are taught a law against it and with a dedication dedication dedication dedica dedica- tion known only to dogs in heat they scour the theatre isles looking for offenders itching to deliver their notorious line Would you please take your feet off the seat Maybe the people in the back of the theatre the ones sitting upright are doing horrible horrible horrible hor hor- things with their feet Maybe not The light back there is pretty dim and as the Leg Nazis arent aren't using vision enhancer yet they might begetting be begetting begetting getting away with murder But up close where I sit three rows from the screen things are nice and bright and they land landon landon landon on me like sitting duck which I am Im I'm watching the movie Im I'm involved The Leg Nazis shatter the moment with their intrusions They invariably pick the worst possible possible possible pos pos- sible moment to enforce the Empires Empire's edict Glenn Close scratching her leg with a knife in Fatal Attraction or during every game of the World Series in Eight Men Out even when Meryl is remembering her farm she had in Africa the Nazis are there demanding annoying enforcing nothing The only exception to this that I have noticed was during Aliens in the summer of 86 at Crossroads The tension and suspense in the theatre was so thick that everyone had the jitters you could barely barely barely bare bare- ly sit still I think the Leg NAzis realized it was better to just butt out than risk a reflex fist in the face My second gripe is with the new II luxury theatres at Trolley Trolley Trolley ley Square They have solved there feet on the seats O problem by installing high- high headrest chairs Unfortunately Unfortunate Unfortunate- ly sitting for two hours in one of these Salem witch killers is worse than four hours at the Blue Mouse They hurt I have been to them several times since they opened and I am finding myself and my butt avoiding them like the Flick My third and last gripe is with matinees at two specific theatres Because of the way light is allowed to enter the theatre through their regular entrances a at the Regency or at the big theatre at Trolley Corners can be un- un I can remember seeing half of Platoon the right half two years ago at the Regency one Saturday afternoon afternoon afternoon after after- noon because whenever the doors were opened by a patron in the back sunshine flooded across the left half of the screen a similar trick occurs occurs occurs oc oc- oc- oc curs at the Trolley Corners A 4 theatre when the doors by the screen are used on a sunny day Theres There's nothing like having your eyes dilate in the middle of Roger Rabbit Well that's most of it most of my gripes with the Empire Im I'm staging no rebellion of course Im I'm saving that for forMann forMann forMann Mann but I do think Odeon could lighten up on the seat feet-seat thing or save it for people doing damage to the theatre Hopefully they wont won't install the nightmare seats at any new theatres And it would be nice if they keep the blinds closed in the at Trolley Corners on sunny afternoons and the outer lobby curtains pulled or something at the Regency V And quite honestly Odeon does a I mar marvelous mar marvelous ar job with volume focus and framing The Flick seems to have the projection problems cornered all to it itself it- it self So the Empire remains my favorite even if they dont don't implement any of my ini movie moviegoer vie goer suggestions As long as they dont dice dic the Centre up into an oc- oc V |