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Show Kathleen Norris Says: There Is No Way to Get Back Lost Sweetheart (Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) was so stupid that night that I hate to think about it. When Hugo made fun of me I said I felt I was getting a cold and went upstairs. He later told Mary that when I was a kid I had been his sweetheart. By KATHLEEN NORRIS THERE is no harder situation situ-ation for a woman of any age than that in which she suspects that the love of the man she idolizes is cooling. cool-ing. The self-deceptions by which abandoned sweethearts solace themselves are pathetic pa-thetic in their transparency; it is almost impossible for any one of us to believe that she has lost her charm for the man she loves. The girl who writes me a letter on this subject fortunately fortu-nately is young. Brenda is only 17, and whether she likes the idea now or not she is going go-ing to get over her passion NOTHING TO REGRET The "Brenda" who writes this letter is undoubtedly in for some heart-breaking moments, mo-ments, but she has nothing with which to reproach herself her-self in later years. She may have behaved like a silly girl, throwing herself at an older man and then sulking when he explained that she had misunderstood mis-understood his brotherly affection. af-fection. But she can look forward for-ward to a more real, a more lasting kind of love in a few years. Then, perhaps, she will be able to laugh at what seems now to be utter tragedy. had everything lovely, but the evening eve-ning HiH nnt hava nno hnrmv rryn- for the fickle Hugo. "Hugo was first my older sister Anna's friend," says Brenda's tear-stained tear-stained letter, "but from the moment mo-ment I first saw him he was the only man in the world for me. I used to hang around just to see him, and my chum and I used to walk downtown so that we could pass his office and perhaps have a glimpse of him. "My diary in those days was filled ivith him, and if I only had a word from him it would make me happy for a week. That was when I was only 15. Last year Anna got a school in a city a hundred miles away. We had a good-by party for her and Hugo came. He and I talked together seriously for the first time and I think he realized that Anna's kid sister was not quite so young as her years. Anyway, after Anna left he came one night and brought me candy and stayed talking, talk-ing, and I was so happy I could not sleep for nights afterward. Wrote Each Other Daily. "After that we saw each other frequently and there was no doubt of his feeling; when he went on short trips we wrote each other every day, and although my parents felt I was too young to make plans yet, Hugo is 31 and could well support a wife; and that made a difference. "The joy of those first days will remain with me all my life, for I can never feel for any other man what I feel for Hugo. Just his voice, just his hand on mine when he taught me to drive, the very jackets and caps and neckties he wore were sacred to me. "He asked me to marry him, and wrote me that night that he 'would never forget the moment when a dizzy, crazy little girl threw herself into his arms.' In that same letter he says, 'you are going to be the most spoiled little wife in the world." 1 "I suppose the rest of this story," the letter goes on, "is a familiar one to you. Hugo had to go away for three weeks, and even in his letters, before he came back, I felt the change. When he did get back I put flowers around in the house and wore a new dress; but he didn't come that evening. All the next day and the next I didn't hear from him, and every second of those days was an agony. "On the fourth day I telephoned, I couldn't help it. He explained that he had been terribly busy and that his mother had house guests, an old schoolmate of hers and the schoolmate's twin daughters and that 'squiring' the girls took up all his spare time. I asked him if they knew about me, and he answered by asking 'what about you, honey?' Invited His Guests. "When I hung up the telephone I was almost crying, and my mother suggested that I write, asking his guests to come to our house for Sunday supper. He seemed pleased by that, and they came. My mother ment for me. Both these girls are pretty. They are 25 years old and have been everywhere and have seen all the plays. One is engaged and I think the other likes Hugo; in fact I know she does, and so do Mom and Dad. V "I was so stupid that night that I hate to think about it, and when Hugo made fun of me I said I felt as if I was getting a cold and went upstairs. Hugo said to Mary that when I was a kid I had been his little sweetheart and we had made great marriage plans and were going go-ing to build a house up in an oak and live up there. Which made me seem like a baby. "Last week Hugo wrote me quite frankly, saying that he is sorry that I 'misunderstood' his attentions, that he will always love me as a big brother, almost old enough to be my father, and that he would like his letters back. My mother, who now says she is sorry she did it since it disturbed me so much, immediately without consulting me sent back all his letters, from my treasure box. "I love him as much as ever. He is so wonderful, there is nobody like him! If I live to be 90, and marry 10 times, I will always love him better than anyone else! What can I do? How can I get him back? Please, please help me keep from despair!" The Price of Love. It is a cruel thing, Brenda, that any human being should be given power to hurt another as Hugo has hurt you. But it is the price of love. Love is the dearest commodity commod-ity in life, the thing for which we pay highest It is painfully obvious now that his affair with you was just what he calls it, half-paternal, half-brotherly affection for the little girl who so openly adored him. He might indeed have made you his wife, and he might have been a faithful husband to you. There are men who have petted and adored a child-wife until her tall sons seemed older than she, but as a general thing the man to whom a girl gives her heart at 17 isn't the true mate, and the real love affair comes along six or seven years later.'? You have a lot for which to be thankful. Evidently you have sensible, sensi-ble, affectionate parents willing to stand by you, help you in your difficulties, dif-ficulties, make your home a center of hospitalities. Those are invaluable invalu-able assets just now. Also, you didn't, in your infatuation for Hugo, throw away your self-respect when you threw away your heart. It might help you to read some of the letters I get from today's girls; girls who don't regard love affairs as their mothers did; girls who argue, in a moment of passion, "it isn't anyone's affair but our own what we do, and if I love him, and want to do anything he asks, I'm free to do it!" |