| Show see here fiere 9 private t e hargrove marion hargrove ty by C E THE STORY SO FAR private harlon hargrove Hargro vc former ormer editorial employee ot of a north carolina Caroll nt newspaper h has a s been inducted into the army and Is rec receiving biving his basic training at fort bragg lie he has been classified as a cook this classification fi together with a more than usual amount of KP HP duty have caused him to become pretty well acquainted with the company kitchen private hargrove has become rather well versed in the many angles ot of gold goldbricking bricking and other army pastimes lie claims however that shooting the breeze or the bull session Is the soldiers favorite recreation at this stage ol of training some ot of the boys are experts in the art As we pick up the story he Is discussing this CHAPTER IX by this time the evening bull sessions have worn themselves into a very definite routine if corporal ussery is there he lectures on how hed run the army if its private terrence clarkin he tells how he used to direct the intricate traffic graffi lc affairs of radio city music hall when he was assistant chief doorman there unless private henri gelders is stopped hell start a violent argument among the butchers over how to cut a steak mcglauflin will talk for hours about the beauties of the lakes in mn minnesota desota mesota grafenstein will deliver discourses on how he would run the wisconsin football team pappas about Alaba mas crimson tide maciejewski cie jewski will sermonize on the utter baseness and treachery of womanhood lately ko however wever the sessions have come more and more under the sway of private merton hulce a mad irish lad from muskegon michigan private hulce apparently stop at kissing the blarney stone he must have stolen half of it to carry with him dulces chief topic of conversation is his mothers fabulous family the smiths all of whom seem to get enmeshed in every war that comes along his grandfather who J J J u w in the midst of this fiery hell bell he saw a peach tree with peaches growing on it was a captain in the coast guard at the outbreak of the last war was transferred to duty at guarding munitions dumps and such for the duration of the war merton had two uncles in the last war both of whom fared exceedingly well when you take a practical view of it neither tired himself out the first crossed the ocean nine times playing the clarinet in a troop ships band the germans torpedoed the boat once and the holes in the side were stuffed with mattresses dulces s uncle rode back into port still playing his clarinet chatmas that was the goldbricking gold bricking uncle the other uncle served as a kay pee on the trip across carrying a tray around the deck he was heckled several times by a person he soon grew to loathe eventually the irish wrath of the smiths rose to boiling point uncle smith lifted the tha tray high overhead and wrapped it around the hecklers neck he spent the rest of the war in confinement then there was the cousin grand mas sisters boy serving in the front line trenches he grew suddenly hungry one morning looking out of the trench he saw a peach tree growing there in the midst of the fiery hell bell and there were still peaches on it he tried to sneak into the tree but the bullets found him he was carried behind the lines just as the stretcher bearers laid him down an enemy shell exploded in the center of their little group and none of them were ever seen again this happened at exactly ten on the morning of november 11 1918 one hour before the armistice was signed pa ft next to the bugler I 1 suppose the battery clerk has the goldbrick inest job in the battery you could cut his pay ay to ten dollars a month and hed still be defrauding the govern ment just watch the battery clerk for a while and you start wondering why hes in the army when hes S so 0 evidently cut out to fit the leaning end of a shovel while the rest of the battery is earning its daily bread with sweat the battery clerk sits in the orderly room hob bobbing with the powers that be typing the daily wor klist with original spellings for all the names and wondering how long it is until lunchtime our battery clerk is a beardless youth named howard miller I 1 tripped over ove ami yesterday evening on my way back from a hard days work and stopped to chew the conversational al fat junior i I 1 asked him how does your conscience feel about this six day goldbricking gold bricking schedule every week dont you feel a twinge on payday corporal miller made a move to draw himself up indignantly but decided it worth the effort if youre insinuating that I 1 dont have to work youre off your bean sonny I 1 do two or three times as much work as you happiness boys I 1 yawned dawned and sat down after listening to ussery shooting off his mouth fifteen hours a day I 1 can take yours go on with your fantastic story boy said miller the responsibility is enough to kill an ordinary man im a one man information bureau for the whole battery I 1 have to know who everybody is where everybody is where every blodys going and how long hes going to be there 1 I have to know the answer to every dumb question you guys come popping up with wheres my mail when doi do I 1 get my furlough where are we going to be sent when we get shipped out of here why I 1 get a weekend pass why was I 1 on KP again today every sort of question you could imagine quit popping your guns laddle laddie I 1 told him no grind for you you use the same answer on all the questions how the hell bell would I 1 know he was quiet for a while and I 1 thought he had gone to sleep again I 1 was all primed to hum chow call to wake him up when he stirred and sighed heavily all right I 1 prompted him of so youre the one man information bureau so what do you do in the line of actual work work he shouted what I 1 do work why I 1 have to write all the letters and keep all the files and keep duty rosters up to 0 o date I 1 have to make thousands of rosters of the battery every month ai that I 1 suggested should take at least two or three hours every day what do you do to while away the other tedious hours of the day he was quiet again for about a minute then he arose ive got a pretty hard day ahead of me tomorrow hargrove he said 1 I hope you wont mind it if you excuse myself you have to get plenty of sleep when you have a job like mine when you have a job like yours I 1 growled you can sleep night and day rl the top sergeant stuck his head out of the supply room and beckoned with his arm come ere you youl I 1 dropped my stable broom in the battery street and hastened toward him as one always does when summoned by the top kick well private hargrove he said this is a red letter day for you you mean youre going to let me go out and drill like the other fellows private hargrove he said 1 I mean im going to let you turn in all your equipment you are no longer to be a rookie private hargrove you are going to be an important working cog in the great wheel of national defense you are leaving us the deal dealph I 1 asked where do I 1 go and what do I 1 do the sergeant chuckled and leaned back in his chair he sighed ecstatically twice would you really like to know son or would you rather put it off as long as you acanfo can well I 1 said thankfully you cant be sending me out as a cook the sergeant sat back and drummed happily on the table great godal I 1 shouted im not going to be a am I 1 no private hargrove he said after another long pause youre not going to be a were going to give you a job where you can use your natural talents there was a distinctly sadistic tone gie iii m vii his voice I 1 waited youre going to be a first cook hargrove he said fondly not just a p plain lain cook A head cooki cook A king in your own kitchen a man of responsibility aint that lovely you cant do this to met me I 1 roared when my breath returned its against every decent human law faw 1 I 1 dont know anything about coo cooking kingl I 1 want to be a berlo sergeant goldsmiths eyes wandered guiltlessly to the ceiling you dont know anything about cooking huh bad boy bad why youre supposed to be on shift right now sergeant I 1 said 1 I coulden couldn vt fry an egg right now it if it had directions ions on the package youre in the cooks battery aint you youve been going to cooking school and youve been sent to a kitchen for all these weeks youre supposed to be graduated son he said youre going to make a perfectly breathtaking horrible example I 1 had nothing more to say any day now what have you been doing in the kitchen I 1 put you in making jerk ade I 1 explained 4 chopping celery peeling onions they say I 1 get in their way they say I 1 keep spirits too high and production too low 1 I feel for you the sergeant said 1 I deeply sympathize youre going to be a mighty unpopular little littie boy in your new home if that supper tonight dont melt in them boys mouths and send them clamoring for more either massacre you or run you over the hill one thing the boys wont allow bum coo cooking kingl sergeant goldsmith sir I 1 implored him cant somebody else go in my stead somebody who can cook look at me a digger of ditches a of floors a scrubber of kitchens a ministering angel to undernourished grass plots but a cook beverl you dont know what youre doing to met me son he said youre going to make a perfectly breathtaking breath taking horrible example then he rose and walked back into the supply room thomas he said check in this yard birds equipment sergeant israel looked up from his form thirty two records dont he like his equipment check in everything but his clothing the top kick said get a truck to take him to headquarters battery sergeant thomas W israel looked up in faint amazement I 1 looked in sheer bewilderment they had to figure some way to stop his cooking career and save the morale of some battery as would get him as a cook said sergeant goldsmith so hes being palmed off to center headquarters as a public relations man the word buddy come into popularity yet in the new army I 1 suppose that if there were such things maury sher would be mine sher and I 1 occupied adjoining bunks when I 1 was in battery A came the fateful sixteenth of october and sher enrolled for the selective service system his application was accepted last july and since he had been the successful proprietor of a restaurant he was classified as a promising student for the army cooking course the two of us got together when he was sent to the replacement center here we started an acquaintance nt when I 1 topped all his jewish jokes and began teaching him how to speak yiddish I 1 was attracted by his native intelligence his pleasant personality his sense of humor the similarity of his likes and dislikes to mine his subscription subscript i 0 n to PM his well stocked supply of cigarettes my brand and the cookies he constantly received from home so we became more or less constant companions we made the rounds here together went to charlotte together made googoo goo goo eyes at the same waitress in fayetteville and swapped valuable trade secrets secreta in goldbricking gold kold bricking TO BE CONTINUED |
