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Show THE RTCH COUNTY REAPER. RANDOLPH, UTAH jirf See Here THE STORY SO FAR: Private Marlon Hargrove, former editorial employee of a North Carolina newspaper, has been inducted Into the army and Is receiving his basic training at Fort Bragg. He has been classified as a cook. This classification together with a more than nsnal amount of KP duty have caused him to become pretty well acquainted with the Private Hargrove Company kitchen. has become rather well versed in the many angles of goldbricking and other army pastimes. t He claims, however, that shooting the breeze or the bull session is the soldiers favorite recreation. At this stage of training some of the boys are experts in the art. As we pick up the story he is discussing this. i CHAPTER IX By this time, the evening bull sessions have worn themselves into a very definite routine. If Corporal Ussery is there, he lectures on how hed run the Army; if its Private Terrence Clarkin, he tells how he used to direct the intricate traffic affairs of Radio City Music Hall when he was assistant chief doorman there. Unless Private Henri Geld-er- s is stopped, hell start a violent argument among the butchers over how to cut a steak. McGlauflin will talk for hours about the beauties of the lakes in Minnesota." Grafenstein will deliver discourses on how he would run the Wisconsin football team; Pappas, about Alabamas Crimson Tide. will sermonize on the utter baseness and treachery of womanhood. Lately, tyowever, the sessions have come more and more under the sway of Private Merton Hulce, a mad Irish lad from Muskegon, Michigan. Private Hulce apparently didnt stop at kissing the Blarney Stone. He must have stolen half of it to carry with him. Hulces chief topic of conversation is his mothers fabulous family, the Smiths, all of whom seem to get enmeshed in every war that comes along. His grandfather, who i Hargrove l)y Youre going to be a first cook, Just watch the battery clerk for Not a while and you start wondering Hargrove, he said fondly. ' cook! A a head cook. when hes in the plain just hes why Army, so evidently cut out to fit the leaning end of a WPA shovel. While the rest of the battery is earning its daily bread with sweat, the battery clerk sits in the orderly room with the powers that be, typing the daily worklist with original spellings for all the names and wondering how long it is until lunchtime. Our battery clerk is a beardless youth named Howard Miller, tripped over him yesterday evening on my way back from a hard days work and stopped to chew the conhob-nobbi- 5 . A king in your own kitchen, a man of responsibility. Aint that lovely? You cant do this to me! I roared, when my breath returned. Its against every decent human law! I dont know anything about cooking! I want to be a cannoneer! Sergeant Goldsmiths eyes wanguiltlessly to the ceiling. dered ? A quiz with answers offering ? information on various subjects Atmcrn 7. The Questions Against what Indians did What is an erg? ,8. What is the principal ore of the following canals lead? handles the greatest volume of traffic: Suez, Panama, or Sault The Answers Ste. Marie? 1. A measure of energy. 3. A wind that blows regularly 2. Sault Ste. Marie. at fixed seasons is called what? 3. A monsoon. 4. What city is called the Queen 4. Buffalo, N. Y. City- of the Lakes? 5. Robert E. Lee. 5. What Confederate general was 6. Richard the Lion Hearted. once the superintendent of West 7. Custer made his last stand Point? 6. Who was the husband of against the Sioux. 8. Galena. Queen Berengaria? 1. 2. Which of r. - You dont know anything about cooking, huh? Thats bad, boy, thats bad! Why, youre supposed to be on shift right now. I said, I couldnt Sergeant, Navy Men Can Identify versational fat. fry an egg right now if it had diPlanes in Split Second Junior, I asked him, how does rections on the package. y your conscience feel about this Youre in the cooks battery, i The singing sands of the Araschedule every i goldbricking The navy has just adopted a new. week? Dont you feel a twinge on aint you? Youve been going to bian desert have mystified travelcooking school and youve been sent system of training its men to recpayday? to a kitchen for all these weeks. ers for thousands of years. These ognize to ships and planes instantly move Miller sands made a most the unusual Corporal produce to be graduated sound effects, ranging from the from a glimpse of their total draw himself up indignantly, but de- Youre supposed cided it wasnt worth the effort. If image, instead of by glances at rumble of drums to the their distinctive parts, says Coof youre insinuating that I dont have twanging harp strings. to work youre off your bean, sonny. Sounds are produced over the mu- lliers. The course consists of a I do two or three times as much sical dunes by the movement of study of 2,000 pictures of. 168 objects from various work as you happiness boys. sand grains in the wind. angles I yawned and sat down. After Only sand grains of a certain on slides that are run through a size, shape, and uniformity will projector at high speeds. listening to Ussery shooting off his To pass, a man must be able to mouth fifteen hours a day, I can produce these interesting sounds. This accounts for the vast acre- identify a ship in one second and take yours. Go on with your fantastic story. . ages of silent sand in many lands. a plane in one 75th of a second. Boy, said Miller, the responsibility is enough to kill an ordinary n man. Im a information bureau for the whole battery, have to know who everybody is, where everybody is, where everybodys going and how long hes going to be there. Son, he said, youre going to I have to know the answer to make a perfectly breathtaking Horevery dumb question you guys come rible Example. I bad nothing more popping up with. Wheres my mail? to say. When .do. I get my furlough? Where are we going to be sent when we any day now. What have you been get shipped out of here? Why didnt doing in the kitchen I put you in? I get a weekend pass? Why was I Maiking jerk-adI explained, on KP again today? Every sort of chopping celery, peeling onions. question you could imagine! They say I get in their way. They Quit popping your guns, laddie, say I keep spirits too high and proI told him. Thats no grind for duction too low. you. You use the same answer on I feel for you, the sergeant all the questions: How the hell said. I Keep Kellogg's Coni deeply sympathize. Youre would I know? litto be a going mighty unpopular Hakes handy! They're super good; He was quiet for a while and I tle boy in your new home. If that to had he gone sleep again. thought nutritious and easy to serve! tonight dont melt in them I was all primed to hum Chow supper mouths and send them clamCall , to wake him up, when he boys for FOODSI SAVE more, oring theyll either, masstirred and sighed heavily. sacre you or run you over the ,All right, I prompted him, so one thing the boys wont aln information bu- low bum cooking! youre the reau. So what do you do in the Sergeant Goldsmith, sir, I imline of actual work? Cant somebody else plored him. he shouted. Work! Thats go in my stead? Somebody who can what I do work! Why, I have to cook? Look at me a digger of vVfr- write all the letters and keep all ditches, a mopper of floors, a scrubthe files and jjeep duty rosters up ber of kitchens, a angel to date! I have to make thousands to undernourished ministering AaaHdtwMnnuumwRMH grass plots, but a 7.4s OMfimtl of rosters of the battery every cook never! You dont know what ! reFlakes are Com month V.'-Kttloggi youre doing to me! stored to WHOLE BRAIN That, I suggested, should take TRITIVE VALUES o( Thiamie Son, he said, youre going to at least two or three hours every make (Vitamin Bi), Niacin and Iron. a perfectly breath-takin- g HorlINMNllNIINMkHItM ItllAMMM day. What do you do to while away rible Example! the other tedious hours of the day? Then he rose and walked back He was quiet again for about a into the room. Thomas, minute. Then he arose. Ive got he said, supply check in this yardbirds a pretty hard day ahead of me toequipment. he said. morrow, Hargrove, I Sergeant Israel looked up from hope you wont mind if you excuse his Form Thirty-Tw- o records. myself. You have to get plenty of he like his equipment? Dont sleep when you have a job like Check in everything but his Thats the retard set by Capt. Joseph H. Hart, mine. kick the said. clothing," Get top When you have a job like one of Pan American Airways ace pilots, in a truck to take him to Headquaryours, I growled, you can sleep ters vital war abroad. flying FARC. Hes a former Battery, cargo night and day.- Sergeant Thomas W. Israel looked flier.. .and a Camel PH Army smoker for 20 years. up in faint amazement. I looked in The top sergeant stuck his head sheer bewilderment. out of the supply room and beckThey had to figure some way to oned with his arm. Come ere, stop his cooking career and save you! the morale of some as I dropped my stable broom in the would get him as a cook, battery said Serbattery street and hastened toward geant Goldsmith. So hes being him, as one always does when sum- palmed off to Center Headquarters moned by the top kick. as a public relations man. Well, Private Hargrove, he The word buddy hasnt come said, this is a day for into popularity yet in the new army. you., I suppose that if there such You mean youre going to let things, Maury Sher wouldwere be mine. me go out and drill like the other Sher and I occupied adjoining bunks fellows? when I was in Battery A. Noooo, Private Hargrove, he Came the fateful Sixteenth of Ocsaid. I mean Im going to let you tober and Sher enrolled for the Seturn in all your equipment. You lective Service System. His appliare no longer to be a rookie, Pri- cation was accepted last July and, vate Hargrove. You are going to since he had been the successful be an important working cog in the proprietor of a restaurant, he was great wheel of national defense. classified as a promising student for You are leaving us. the Army cooking course. .Whats the deal? I asked. The two of us got together when Where do I go and what do I do? le was sent to the Replacement CenThe sergeant chuckled and leaned ter here. We started an back in his chair. He sighed ec- ance when I topped all hisacquaintJewish statically twice. Would you really okes and began teaching him how like to know, son, or would you ;o Yiddish. I was attracted rather put it off as long as you by speak his native intelligence, his pleas-- ! can? ant personality, his sense of humor, Well, I said thankfully, you the similarity of his likes and dis-- 1 cant be sending me out as a cook, ikes to mine, his subscription to The sergeant sat back and PM, his supply of cigwhore cigarettes drummed happily on the table. arettes (my brand), and the cookies . Great gods! .1 shouted. are judged Im he constantly received from home. hot going to be a cannoneer, am I? So we became more or less conThe Taste end No, Private Hargrove, , he said stant We. made the Throat is the proving after another long pause, youre rounds companions. here together, went to Char-ott- e not going to be a cannoneer. , Were ground for cigarettes. Only o made together, eyes at d throat can decide which cigafcoing to give you a job where you the same waitress in Fayetteville, rette tastes best to you. ..and how it affects can use your natural talents. and swapped valuable trade Secrets your throat Based On the experience of was a distinctly sadistic m goldbricking. . m his voice. I waited. trillions of smokers, we believe rkmrT, BE (TO CONTINUED) suit your to a T. six-da- . high-pitch- ed 120-ho- ur . one-ma- e, one-ma- CORN Mb' FLAKES NU- , I Next to the Bugler, I suppose the battery clerk has the goldbrickinest job in the battery. You could cut his pay to ten dollars a month and hed still be defrauding the govern- ment. Cus- ter make his last stand? hill.-That-s In the midst of this fiery hell he saw a peach tree with peaches grow. ing on it. was a captain in the Coast Guard at the outbreak of the last war, was transferred to duty at guarding munitions dumps and such for the duration of the war. Merton had two uncles in the last war, both of whom fared exceedingly well when you take a practical view of it. Neither tired himself out. The first crossed the ocean nine times playing the clarinet in a troop ships band. The Germans torpedoed the boat once and the holes in the side, were stuffed with .mattresses. Hulces uncle rode back into port, still playing his clarinet. That was the goldbricking uncle. The other uncle served as a kay-pe-e on the trip across. Carrying a tray around the deck, he was heckled several times by a person he soon grew to loathe. Eventually the Irish wrath of the Smiths rose to boiling point. Uncle Smith lifted the tray high overhead and wrapped it around the hecklers neck. He spent the rest of the war in confinement. Then there was the cousin, grandmas sisters boy. Serving in the front-lin- e trenches, he grew suddenly hungry one morning. Looking out of the trench, he saw a peach tree growing there in the midst of the fiery hell, and there were still peaches on it. He tried to sneak into the tree, but the enemys bullets found him. He was carried behind the lines. Just as the stretcher bearers laid him down, an enemy shell exploded in the center of their little group and none of them were ever seen again. This happened at exactly ten oclock on the morning of November 11, 1918 one hour before the Armistice was signed. rR ? ASK CIE Private Marion syv"vVr tmesiacro. ...... , red-lett- er . . . j well-stock- ed goo-go- . |
