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Show OUR COMIC SECTION WORTH TRYING IDit and The drama was a thrilling one, but a talkative young man had seen it before. In an audible voice he announced what was coming next and described how funny it would' be when it did come. He had a pretty girl with him, and he was trying to amuse her. At length he said: Did you ever try listening to a play with your Youve no idea how eyes shut? queer it seems. man sat just in A middle-ageHe twisted himself in his front. HED LOST MILLIONS seat and glared. did you Young man, he said, The girl was very rich, and he was ever try listening to a play with your just a poor young man. She liked mouth shut? him, but that was all, and he was well aware of the fact One evening POOR PERCY he grew somewhat tender and at last he said: You are rich, arent you, Ethel? Yes, Dick, Dad says Im worth two million dollars, if things turn out as it now looks. Will you marry me, Ethel? he asked. Oh, no, Dick, I couldnt do that, she replied. I knew you wouldnt. Then why did you ask me? I just wanted to be able to say that I had lost two million dollars. HumoIF d In Lucks Way stormed Brown to the estate agent, about that riverside bungalow you sold me. "Anything wrong, sir? asked the agent. exclaimed Wrong ! Wrong Brown. The other morning we woke up and found that the beastly place had floated two miles down the river. Hm," said the agent blandly enough, thats a good stroke of luck. The taxes are much lower down there. Look here, ! THE FEATHERHEADS Too Muck Talk, No Doubt ten dollars last night. Penelope Thats just like him. Hes always doing some ridiculous thing. Practical "That was an excellent paper your daughter read last night on the Influence of Science as Applied to Practical Government. Was it? Well, I wish shed find out something about the Influence of No Cure So you are just back from a tour the Yacunm Cleaner as Applied to round the Azores, said Hayes. I the Dining Room Carpet. understand the voyage has cured you The Worst of It of insomnia? Dick Doesnt it madden you when "Completely, said the cruiser. exclaimed nayes. a girl is slow about getting ready to Wonderful go out to dinner with you? "It must be a great relief. Don Yes, the longer she takes, The cruiser nodded agreement. "Relief I should just say It was, the hungrier she gets. he replied. Why, nowadays I lie awake half the night thinking how Solution of Last Weeks Puzzle. I used to suffer from it. ! Ho-t- a. A Soul pot4f Know AMONG- THOSE WHO WILL BE PRESENT s a. y- J . 1 J Vapy wSa-y- hs one of 1UJ coTTAffES ACROSS I SHE COM 65 XHB LAKB HERE EnERY VEAR. AND SHE vkioiaic cieRyoNE -- cjgjp MRS This HOWD'jdO'I hope SbULL ASK Mff LACS is mV To P ANCB ME CALL HUSBAND, - JilsT I ! LIAl Saving Time Father Why were you chasing that Jones boy? Son To lick him ! He got me mad. Father Why didnt you count 20 as I told you? Son I did, while I was chasing him! Brooklyn Eagle. L A B Strange Thing husband always said that making a will was the last thing on earth he would do and he didnt do it! Sie und Er (Zofingen). "My ENJOY A TRIP TO Salt Lake Citys STORMS BREWING No Financial Bureau He had just finished luncheon and bad signaled the waitress. With a dramatic wave of the band be asked, How much do I owe? pompously: The girl looked him over and smiled. That would be difficult to say offhand, she replied, but your bill here comes to 75 cents. Stray Stories Magazine. CHALK YOUR CUE Poser Jacks nose is a regular weather signaL Hows that? "Sure sign of a storm when his wife sees it red. Cyril See that little star up there? Well, its bigger than this whole world of ours. Little Sister Then why doesnt keep off the rain? Isnt cal? Baseball Manager am going to Disgusted Rooter How about caps of green billiard cloth to match their ivory domes? r NEWHOUSE TEMPLE SQUARE 200 Tile Baths Radio connection in every room. RATES FROM 1.50 100 Baths 400 Rooms $2.00 to $4.00 200 Rooms Bliggins remarkably methodiAs Yes. Hes as punctual about getting to work in the morning as he is about getting away to golf in the SALT LAKE AND Hotel HOTEL 1 it select new uniforms for my team. NO BERMUDAS Extraordinary GNpve$t 100 Per Cent Real the lady strolled through the park, two urchins confronted her. I say, lady, said the taller of the two, my brother does fine imitashings. Give im a penny and hell imitate a Just oppotite Mormon Tabernacle ERNEST C. ROSSITER, Mgr. fl TWO PERSONS (fncfl ul) Choice Outside Jt Teacher What current event of great Interest can anyone tell me about this morning? Small Girl 1 can. My mother just put up 24 glasses of jelly. Dear, dear smiled the lady. And what will he do will he cackle? No, replied the lad with a look of contempt, e wont do no cheap Imitashings 0 that sort. Ell eat a C & rt CO Room with Bath J THE HOTEL hen. Currant News Family Room 4 or 5 Persons C " JU ! Onion for me. Oh, boy, thatt the very place worm 1" BEER DISPENSER Agents wanted to sell Artie Beer Barrel. One $76 dispenser makes you $36. Exclusive territory given. Biggest money maker of today. Write or wire today. AR.TIC CO., California. 1201 46th Avenue, Oakland, SALT WNU W LAKE CITY, UTAH 3733 I |