| OCR Text |
Show vJHl.Phillipr ii' wi; (;i:t cloth ks rationing ("Mr. NcKiin warned that the rationing ra-tioning of clothing might hi! ni ceH-h.iry ceH-h.iry In tills country." Ncwk Item.) OPA Chairman Mr. Twitchell, yuu know the charge:). It Is alleged you were Keen going around In a new pair of pants. Inspector Binklc, will you slate the facts in this case? Inspector Well, the cilice got a tip that Twitchell was going around in new pants. Chairman What color? Inspector Cray. Chairman Did your informant say where he got these pants? Inspector Yes, sir, in a black market. Mr. Twitchell You have your facts twisted. They were black pants and I got them In a gray market. Chairman Proceed! Inspector Well, after getting the tip I started to trail Twitchell. But for the first week every time I saw him he was wearing an old brown pair, with a green coat. Chairman Did you determine If the coat was a black market coat? Inspector No; there were two other oth-er agents on that end of it. Chairman Proceed. What happened hap-pened next? Inspector Well, finally, on a Sunday Sun-day morning I saw Twitchell walking walk-ing In the park and he had on the pants in question. I closed in on him at once and took him to headquarters head-quarters for a grilling. Chairman Did he give any trouble? trou-ble? Inspector On the way down he tried to take his pants off and throw them away, thus destroying the evidence. evi-dence. Mr. Twitchell That's a lie. I did not take them off to throw away. I suddenly found I had them on backwards and was correcting the error. Chairman Do you mean to tell me a man could go around with his pants on hindside-front and not notice no-tice it? Mr. Twitchell In these topsyturvy topsy-turvy days it's easy. Chairman (to inspector) What kind of a pants card did he have, an "A," "B" or "C"? Inspector He only was entitled to an "A" card. Chairman An "A" card only permits per-mits short pants. Inspector Twitchell was using a "B" card at the time. Chairman How did he get it? Inspector On a claim he needed supplemental pants. Chairman (sternly to Twitchell) Why did you need supplemental trousers? Were they business or pleasure pants? Mr. Twitchell Business. And the business is tough on pants. Chairman What business are you in? Mr. Twitchell I'm a paper-hanger. paper-hanger. Chairman Why don't you wear overalls? Mr. Twitchell I tried a pair but I shivered so much I got the wall paper on all crooked. Chairman What caused the shivering? shiv-ering? Mr. Twitchell They had been frozen for the duration! THAT SUMMER VACATION The summer vacation this year, if any, will be a problem. The shorter the distance the better, Washington announces, even by train. To get anywhere any-where by automobile you will have to be the discoverer of a new fuel. So what it amounts to is the Rationed Ra-tioned Vacation. There's a ceiling on beach romances, ro-mances, mountain fun, marshmallow roasts, moonlight canoeing and hotel ho-tel porch gossip. With everything frozen except red ants. But there will be no kicking. War is war, and the public will realize that it is lucky not to have to get a book of coupons and select its summer sum-mer outings by the point system. Up to the time when you have to study a point chart to see how deep a sunburn you are entitled to, or consult con-sult your ration board to determine whether it will take red or blue coupons cou-pons to take a swim, all will be well. No matter how limited your vacation vaca-tion may be in 1943, just bear in mind that you don't have to register for it. And remember, too, that while you are spending your two weeks in a hammock in your own backyard no neighbor is getting four weeks at a swank resort through the black market. mar-ket. Mr. Eastman, the transportation boss, urges the public to do as little vacationing as possible, and especially espe-cially to avoid starting or returning on week ends. He will have to do a little extra harping on this point. The American Ameri-can public has become so accustomed accus-tomed to leaving on Saturday that it has become a habit. Mr. Eastman should get a few good slogans at once. Something like: "Do your patriotic part with a Thursday start!" |
