Show Report Says Women To New Life Alone f By ALISON GODDARD you're first widowed you don't want independence You still want to be But that independence becomes something pretty valuable as you go through DOROTHY MacKenzie never thought she'd be able to say that when she lost her husband eight years Left with two children and a gas she was bombarded with advice from well-meaning took time off and quietly thought out their she in the final analysis you have to make up your own Though it was by no means one quick step from being half-a-couple to becoming a strong Dorothy MacKenzie has made the ad- Now in her she's pari of a new the independent OLDER WIDOWS are also liberating according to Loyola sociologist Helena In a study of older widows in the Chicago she found only 22 living with their tradition of the three-generation family where the mother is helping with the leaning and the cooking is simply Lopata MOST OF the women she interviewed said they preferred staying as mistress of their own home to moving into a household where they'd have to abide by another family's woman me she visits her daughter for a few weeks every says last time she was there the daughter if you would just learn to keep your mouth shut you could live with And the mother said to tell how can I keep my mouth shut and LOPATA reports that once modern widows get over their initial shock and they at maintaining their Some seek ways to increase their ability to manage on their others find it thrust upon them A woman in her sixties told the sociologist hat her son insisted on teaching her how to the best thing he the widow when I wuK I aiB I don't haul for people to and come pick Now that it's society for a younger they are not under iM pressure Id MacKenzie while it happe fori of marriage appeal SETTLED table home life Miili she ui telephone counselor Boston suburb until 8 porting grant ra Having widowhood MacKenzie other bereaved does gel the new life she independent life 1 I don't anyone the we're happy we're We'd rather hive but what we have and unhappy about |