| Show ruminating on ruminants or cogitating about cows dy by nets neica analyst and commentator washington the subject of cows recently has been called to in my y attention 1 supposed to be an animal crossword days a cow was in the early pre of the bovine species now it Is just a thred letter bettor word rr aaning ruminant there Is another three letter word which also sometimes means a of 0 which I 1 will speak later before I 1 knew that a cow was either a member ot of the bovine species 01 ok a ruminant I 1 thought it was MIs something fearful W which h I 1 c h was eup h ea m addressed as bosi sie ale and which 1 I was told would not hurt me I 1 took the former statement as correct but had grave doubts about the latter later I 1 was taught that cow c o w spelled not bossle boggle but cow and still later I 1 was chased by one this caused additional doubt concerning free information furnished by ones elders then came the crossword puzzles 1 I saw that three horizontal was a three letter word meaning ruminant having heard of the word ruminate grumt by that time and thinking t that thinking or it you will ruminating was a fairly common practice among the genus homo home I 1 wrote I 1 met a down man later when number of c congressmen gressmen on I 1 was convinced of my error now I 1 know ow that neither definition Is entirely wrong A cow ruminate wb when en it chews its cud cad having chewed it before and a man ruminates rumi nates when he chews an idea upon which he has hag chewed before in some ways however cows and men differ in fact cows even differ in some respects from women WOM en although all three creatures mar man 1 women woman and cow boware are mammals the highest torm form ot of vertebrate thase which the authorities inform me nurse their young with milk just how man gets into this category is a little beyond me but that is what the scientist r says ays and I 1 arn am willing to strain my credulity a litt little le after a all 11 ll I 1 suppose that my fail father ier who paid tor for the milk which I 1 drank when I 1 got so I 1 could take lit it out of a glass nourished me in a manner ot of speaking we will let it go at that although it seems to me that a man assumes a little of what might be criticized as the gland manner ot of speaking when he tries to get more than a grade B rating as a mammal but to return to the differences between cows on the one handi hand and men and women on the other ot herand and I 1 think no one will contradict me when I 1 say there ARE differences r one thing a cow cannot do that a man can Is blow Us its own horn and listening to the as we know from soap operas it is easier tomake to make a woman slip than to make a cowslip now what has a cow got that teat you and I 1 answer cattle cattie are closely related to the but falo the bison and the yak I 1 defy any genealogist to produce a bison a buffalo and a yak in one human family tree on the other hand in the branches of a a cows family tree there are no DO monkeys in some ways the cow has superior abilities for instance I 1 have seen a cow roll over without spilling a drop ot of milk ml lk which is more than any man carrying a similar amount of lacteal fluid could do philologically the the cow seems to have somewhat of an edge on man at least tor for those who believe belaev e in the capitalistic system the latin word for cattle as of course you know if you just looked it up as I 1 did Is and the word pecuniary Is derived from that and the words word cattle chattel and capital capita 1 a are to each other what cow itself Is to buffalo bison and yak all ali present day breeds ot of cattle I 1 am authoritatively informed are descended from the two types large and small known in prehistoric times in europe however in recent time band and now we are getting down to what started me ruminating something new has been added we now have developed what might be laughingly called hot cows and cold cows the hot are the brahman which have been insinuated into our own american strains to inure them to our southern latitudes and tor for other purposes As ai you know brahma c cattle attle iii are known by their humps A braw brahma bt ahma lias has a large hump just abaft the shoulders sho ulden a d the others of lesser rank have smaller humps bumps getting down to something not it ot much larger than thana a fever blister frae the cold bowis cow Is quite a different thing As might be expected it comes comis fr from m russia where they invented the cold war the cold shoulder and the common or siberian cold which is used to correct false ideologies IO 10 longevity and mono monopolistic polls capitalism when applied to cows instead of capitalists the cold has the opposite effect on longevity according t to 0 a recent article la in rood food industries dus tries a hlll publication it the iia nus grans jave produced by eans cans of a chilling cli illing process applied P ii e d from early calf hood cows live with a high output to 15 years yield up to liters litera of milk and give birth to 15 calves the process is simple one selects a calf from selected parents it Is put in an unheated barn where the temperature is kept at five degrees fahrenheit fahren helt the barns I 1 take it are much like the ordinary soviet citizens dwelling except that there Is plenty of bedding and the calves I 1 t I 1 this Is pat walker of woodland calif queen of the rely poly royal ce celebration le bration at california state polytechnic college with her to do a spot of ng Is one of the colleges better beet beef sires domino prince his mother was one of the aristocratic aristocrat io ruminants who even now chews her cud in pride over the elegance of her son are pr provided ovidea with earmuffs ear mutts muffs A citizen en of the US USSR SR need the th e earmuffs ear muffs because he Is only allowed to listen to what the government thinks is goad tor for him and if his ears freeze its all right with the censor the results of the chilling process on calves appear remarkable but not tor for a moment would I 1 doubt the veracity ot of the writer despite my early experience with erroneous information concerning cows the other type of ruminant upon which these ruminations rumi nations are based is illustrated in hi these columns tte the old order how it after the grey winter days new hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring mornings the elm buds are spreading and the shadows of trunk and limb make sharp patterns on the wide expanse of the huge belmont house this house now Is occupied by the eastern star no family ev ever er could have done more than rattle about in that palatial mansion I 1 j suppose there will be few such palaces built in washington any more more one after another they are being torn down the leiter house on dupont circle is gone and a family hotel ls is rising in its place many other mansions too big tor for embassies even served as boarding houses for war workers and nd now they are empty ind and tor for sale one huge house which I 1 massoc pass occasionally casio nally is opened when the third generation which still retains some of the original fortune corries comes to washington for a wedding or a party after that the house is sealed up again the burglar alarms are attached and the old residence goes back to dreaming of the past A part of this section of wash dupont circle Is being beas sealed oft off for or a year while the road builders burrow under the lie grassy park to make an underpass for trolley i rs and automobiles this will be the final wow blow of dis figuration to connecticut avenue which has yielded over the years since I 1 first knew it to the vu invasion A block below dupont circle that once was gay with the chatter of 0 nursemaids nurse maids and children of the foreign diplomats stood the british embassy on the sits site today Is 11 i tilling filling station I 1 0 americans have eaten banenas since the cerl century tury but still ciany misconceptions concerning theril th nt exist says middle america r storma tion not we hope that thoy should be kept in the divorces i two thirds of all divorces art are granted to women Is that because of male chivalry or the lack of it |
