Show kathleen norris says giving him another chance bell features feature p V sit Z randy was sitting on the steps smoking nell he said ive got to get out all this sickens bickens me im done by KATHLEEN NORRIS V TOW OW and then a man and N V woman get a divorce drift about the world trying solitary living for awhile meet each other again and are re remarried married in these days of too frequent divorces it often happens that wife or husband would be more patient more tolerant more wise if given another chance and sometimes they have an opportunity to prove it but in not ot often usually the first thing they do upon getting free Is to tie themselves up to new mates as fast as possible then new complications have to be taken into account and when one partner takes a serious view of marriage and the other Is bound by no law ot of god or man it takes a man or woman of fine character and high principles to forget and forgive helen johnson writes me her phase ot of this problem she is 37 she married a prosperous dentist of 34 14 years ago they had a nice home three children friends and a good position when randy johnson went off the reservation entirely three years ago find and demanded a divorce sunday mornings bad news 1 I will never forget the peaceful sunday morning when he broke it to me that he wanted to marry his office clerk a girl of 18 writes helen the two older girls and I 1 had just come back from church the baby then two was running about the garden randy was sitting on an the porch steps smoking sandra and pam went into the house and randy said immediately nell ive got to get out all this sickens bickens me the kids and the sunday dinner and washing the car and all of it I 1 dont want to take pictures of antoinette I 1 dont want to telephone to see if your brother and his wife can come over to play bridge im done after awhile the letter goes on the truth came out the little girl in the office loved him he break her heart and his better to have only one of us unhappy he said and I 1 was to be the one I 1 could have the house the girls and a month that afternoon while I 1 was lying down with a headache he came into the room we shared silently packed his things and stood in the middle of the floor to make a final speech he said that he knew everything iwas I 1 was thinking and everything my mother would say that I 1 have been a devoted wife that our children were splendid and that he had no complaint to make but he said no home is happy when the man of the family is bored said and resentful he knew I 1 did not want to hold mm him against his will he be would see a great deal of his children and in a few months our friends would accept the situation with the same grace that he hoped I 1 would heartbroken lonely woman he went to reno and I 1 let him get a divorce I 1 was stunned from feeling myself a happy secure beloved and necessary woman I 1 was alone and heartbroken in the space of two months but I 1 pulled myself r elf together rebuilt my life with the girls as well as I 1 could and after a long while was happy and busy again I 1 still loved randy I 1 a top stop he is a gentle humorous clever man and he had made me very happy tor for 11 wonderful years last year pamela my middle daughter had to have undeveloped wisdom teeth impacted taken from her jaw it was a hospital opera THE DEEP END how many of us realize how close we come nearly every day to going going off the deep end over somebody or something we can think of dozens of ways to justify what we know to bp be rash moves but we ive dont make them because we know what the consequences s of our foolishness will be social pressure may be a burden but it has more than mere nuisance value our anxiety about the opinions of our friends and business assoni associates helps us to discipline ourselves before it becomes necessary for someone else to do it tion and randy the only dental surgeon in our small town was asked to do it little pam with her courage and her spirit captivated her father I 1 saw him twice during this time and he asked me for permission m to see the other girls girl a all 11 three sweet natural pretty children if I 1 say it myself after that he came humbly to me and asked me it if he might be my friend might see them now and then I 1 forgot to say that he and his office sweetheart married immediately after the divorce were also divorced 11 months later and she has married twice since months of friendship during which he has won the affection of the three girls and appears to be the proudest and most understanding of fathers have brought him to the place where he wants to corns come home he Is almost 49 now 1 I want to clean my heart and mind the letter goes on of the memory that he hurt me deeply humiliated me set all our friends speculating about our divorce left our children when they needed him but also I 1 have to remember that randy handy and I 1 never quarreled that our relationship was one of understanding laughter operation cooperation co perfect companionship I 1 always thought of myself as the happiest of wives I 1 like to be a married woman to have a man to spoil consult and be praised by and there can never be any other shall I 1 give him h m another other chance stress infidelity too much in answer I 1 say my dear helen I 1 think we women put too much importance upon that type of infidelity that so often smiles a man like a sudden high fever just when his children are to in the awkward stages ot of grade school homework teeth straightening dime demanding and comic section infatuation we say tacitly even if we dont put it into words you may like women dear as much as you like admire their minds and their talents you may look after pretty 18 year olds in the streets quite excusable youve been devoted to me tor for 14 years now and possibly some of the glamour in a purely sense has worn off but the minute you become interested in that young office halt half wit out you gol go now this sensible it Is humiliating mil milia lating ting and shocking to realize that ones physical charms may pale and that men are weak but both facts acts are indeed cold facts acts and we have to face ace them if 1 we want ever to be happy randy was flattered she made him feel eel that he was superman you with all you know about him honestly compete with her babbled little lisping compliments he fell ell f or it all and has since proved to the world that he was a consummate fool 00 oo 1 that ought to be some satisfaction to you and a very anat vent help it la time ot of argument |