Show A 9 aa G U aro A 0 ta RIK CA A N CHAPTER XII continued 11 the desire to wound him filled her pith a burning fever ever at least th then enlie he not hot be able to go tor for weeks without remembering liar her he would think of her his Ille attention ills his desire would be hers for an intolerable moment she yielded to the pain of this thia ides desire lre then than rose wrapped liar her faded cotton kimono over liar her battling suit land turned to face ace loring faramo for a moment she was was struck with a bright ta emory ills his composure his sellas sell as 0 urance burance were broken by the of some borne powerful emotion slie she was a gIrL again at liar her mothers house running up the front steps lie he stood 6 at the he top in her way looking nt at he her eagerly ills his face so alive disturbing they stared at each other lother remembering caught and held together bt but ernestine thrust this clamoring thought may away from her this man was lillians husband this was jonathan son liar her fathers son inlaw in law fand adviser he was one of liar her own people tc ople you been kind to will any of you she stammered trying to bring the talk back to commonplace he accepted our kindness loring answered slowly it only that hes bes proud salo said urnestine ernestine iles hes vain as aa well hes different hes entitled to ills his vanity at any cost asked loring in a low voice 1 I think there are men who would consider pride too dear tor for your happiness Erne Eme stines thoughts were in confusion lorings words come came back to her nothing but poverty and childbearing and distress oh she had had wore more than that from will she had bad had bad life I 1 but was there to be forber for her no permanent pence and security with will she doubted it IC and this d doubt 9 abt brought another has my whole in concerning will been false rs Is the fam ilys judgment of him correct and my own mistaken they think him erratic trivial unsteady a failure 0 0 god in heaven me she turned away from loring and took the path up through the shrubs toward the lawn about the house she I 1 stumbled along as though to get away from the weakness the tears the fearful doubts that assailed her A motor had been humming along the lake road us ns she advanced from the waters edge and now abruptly the car had entered the inlet road and swung about before the house at this instant when she became conscious of it and its arrival the air was still filled with the grinding of brailes braises br aises while the doors of the car spilled open and it disgorged dis gorged three of four men who were carrying others outliers ot liers one of tile the two men lifted from the car was either dead or dying for a thin bright stream ran from him as they laid him on the grass bright red dripped from the running board the other man was being carried indoors while two tied their coats together to make a stretcher for the first man lifted out A shout brought madame castano from the house the gardener the houseman appeared on the run the whole household was instantly concentrated with skilled practiced efficiency so quiet so BO quick that eliat ernestine was still gaping while it was all accomplished the hose was running furiously across the lawn the aug rug was brought from the floor of the car and thrown into the lake with rocks on top of it the gardener put the hose inside the car and washed the floor and the running board another came from the garage with a I 1 differ different eDt car rug with a different license plate which lie changed in a moment and the driver of the car moved it up a little so that the gravel could be picked up in a shovel and cart carried led and thrown into the lake the fresh spot raked together now old grandmother Pa an ancient dame who spoke riot not a word of english came from the porch her hend head wrapped tn in a shawl and got into the car and sat by the window tier her thick jeweled hand resting on the edge of the glass the car turned about and with a different driver moved sedately back along the lake road whence tit It had bad come as innocent appearing a vehicle as ever rode the highway no one had noticed her there at the ahe end of the lake walk among the carefully cut shrubs E ernestine rn estIne moved back and came to the little summer house and sat down in it for liar her limbs would carry tier her no farther y the dreadful efficiencies oi of tle the pas tanos had all this time increased tier her wrath with will she could not bear it forbid to ba abeln in a daze to go about with the air which had exasperated exasperate ed lillian tho the night elaine was born she jand stand the ali e thought that b he was it a failure while these foreigners were thick with success ruby castano Ia Ila stano had power ile he loved money lie ile had it ile ho was dramatic and generous with it he wanted it to show ile he loved to empty hla his pockets knowing well where her he might night refill them and all summer she had compared this mans magle magic will walli I 1 wills tumbling fumbling deliberately she had shut her ears against stories of bf political corruption against tales jalcs of graft rod and bribery of ruby castano who wits was generous with policemen growing strong and well again with tile tha chil dren blooming under tinder the benevolence of this man whose kindness had been more acceptable to hertzan hert her than ban the kindness of liar her own people because e he was wills and they were not she ahe had nevertheless nevert beless been influenced by margaret weymouth jackson 0 ly by dobbs bobba werrill ool 00 to vexation beyond measure that ila ins wistano should be so BO capable and will I 1 so futile now liar her tears fell from her eyes in great scalding drops I 1 what was she ernestine briceland Url celand doing in tills this band of cut cutthroats throats and i thieves all of ruby Va kastanos stanos efficiency fici ency was vas to tier lier nothing now but filthy rags all lier liar relationship with him ant and his family from the bogin ning had been built I 1 on misunderstand ing they were ivere too far apart not aen even affection and liking not even respect could bridge tife the gap gab tile difference in ideals in itan standards dards in pur poses tills this generous unscrupulous man bringing the victims of rapine so unfalteringly into tile the heart of his own home was wills friend bof not hers she had nothing in common cornmon with these people and she would never have and she had shut the door of her heart against her own flesh and all mood blood because of wills pride and had opened it to these these she bhe choked and her throat turned bitter with gall at them abruptly she was cons conscious clous of an up surging aging of patriotism lier her own people her own kindl americans strong decent successful ardent and clean kind kind incapable of mur der and plotting these foreigners looked upon them all as fat geese to 16 ile be plucked and did not understand the courage the cleanness the strength of kindness she hated them with a furious li atred the compulsion to be rid of them of till of them and will as well edme upon tier liar she was crying terribly she ran back down the bench beach path and came to loring playing in the water with elaine and peter get the boat she said sobbingly 1 I will go with you it was wonderful to relax rela in the comfort and security of home again the children went off happily with old annie who had cared for lillian and ernestine when they were small and who bad always stayed with aamina inn mina a privileged member of the household lillian scarcely left Erne stines side a moment papa planned softly about going into chicago in the morning to set through to a finish the details of tile the trust funds for his two tivo girls loring kept ills his di stance distance reading and smoking by the table at the far end of the long porch ernestine was almost asleep relaxed and comfortable in liar her body for the first time in many weeks rind and she was almost inattentive to papas voice going gently on with plans 1 I 1 will deed the sheridan road house over to you darling mamma and I 1 willbo willbe in new york most mose of tile the time but when we are in chicago we will stay there with YOU yon korink told us that you would como come back sooner if I 1 withheld your settlement something clicked in Erne stines m mind ind a small sound as though a lock had find been unbolted but site she went on to sleep calmly enough carrying down with her into unconsciousness he her r trouble and liar her pain loring said she would come back papa had been so willing to obey her wish about not having her money because loring said she ehe would come back the sooner she slept deeply all through tile the long evening lill all through the night it was the first clear flush of dawn abruptly the car kad had entered tho the inlet road when site die awoke sat eat up under the light cover that mamma had thrown over liar her there on the porch swing and looked out across the water she awoke with a conviction she could not do tills this she could not leave will it was impossible by what route she had come to this conclusion she could not have hare told but in her sleep her true nature had asserted it itself self and her mind was fixed she had done what she had resolved never to do she had denied tier her marriage A oh not I 1 not my any two self not my heart 1 she ehe whispered ill 1 I naver never did deny will no nor r ray my love ill go v back today to be his wife for ever r no matter what vo comes bomea mea she felt calm and strong now und could look with horror upon her defection in ilie clearah clear light of morning filled ns as slie she was with the 1 conviction that sli she emust wust for ev ever er choose will against ali the world further understanding came to her all these months tit alint tit she ila had d been hitting hating will and loving him blin tin and reviling him film and saying suph such cr cruel lie things lings ti it had been a deep unknown desire for liar her mothers home which goaded bonded liar her it had been rebellion against tho the continued humiliation of poverty and disappointment that their hops hopes and had not matured tins this time into success all her mental processes deemed loosened loos eneil open now from some kome canny instinct she was presented with n new enlightenment she was slie shel had been worse than the 1 glinie glin me women site she had bad been for months under tile domination of a bitter jealousy of ills work she had been wounded because ills activity was secret from her slie she had bad loathed tile the mistress ml that tie he followed tits hla own career so want wanting ing him to succeed and to io earn money she alie had not wanted him possessed with the preoccupation of such processes slie she had seen indis in his gaze that inward ador adoration atlon which Is more obnoxious to a womans comans greedy pride than another anther comans womans lure can ever be jove ove for what he was doing that excluded interest in ills his own mind all liar her own mind clear at lust last in the limpid humility born of tailed will in intention it if not in conclusive act she could reach a place on which to plant liar her feet for ever fig as far as lie he and slie she were concerned what have I 1 to do 10 with ills his work the answer to this question in iad clear logic of liar her mind released tier her for ever from the petty jealousies of the ortis artists ts wife the answer was nothing she had nothing to do with tits his work nt at all it was tits his own and she must knowin kno wIt theold the old unity she had wanted to preserve was possible only as a kind olover of over unity not going into details etwas it ana the ground on which love placed its feet the sky above loves head but not the secret of the habitations of the soul he a could not bear a child for her bar though his love conceived it and was wa S not the business of bringing forth something new and bright even if it were but a comic strip tor for the dally papers as secret and silent a process as that la in which she was now again engaged they all knew she was t to bear another child but no one intruded upon liar ler privacy save by the most discreet and apologetic kindness and ana might not the creative processes of artistry be as secret as involuntary she had been resentful as petty mert men were sometimes resentful of a w wom ans preoccupation and distress in maternity te tern ity will had been natural with her casual and and she could a accord him the cariie same courtesy she w wept apt afresh but not the dreadful scalding tears of the day before these were unselfish thanking tears distilled from a heart grown calm and good again me a good gaoa help me to be a good wife to will 0 god help me to understand him to grow and change when life demands it of me help roe me to be a good wife she went to the desk in the corner and wrote a telegram 1 I have left Pa stanos and am at roain mas cottage with tile the eb children ildren please come and get us today ernestine she wakened old annie gave tier her money and sent her over to the hotel with the message they had a long talk on the beach hint afternoon ernestine t told li will everything ever thing till ill that sho she had thought mid awl felt nil all that had bad happened tho day before lorings Lorl talk with her the abe murder car tit at Pasta nogi i oili r ird revulsion iiii ston of feeling low how slie he had come home and how bow lothe in the night while she slept everything beij tiling had straightened out for tier her will lay beside liar her in silence her liand in ills and again and again ns she ibe talked lier her fingers eie pressed jils ills lips hey were more buck back again in the cradle of love rock rocked edin in n agle hach overcame nil all difficulties and d hellei all mis 1 1 ile he told her then about hims elfand and aboul eliout what whai lie had hein through it ive to mude made ten tell or ori eleven different developments of tooles pooles cartoon altering them nil all abid aad ive made ench each one up lip for about six weeks and planned the continuity out beyond that time but I 1 cant sell them thein when I 1 slit sat down to write bilte to you what whal was there to say I 1 would resolve to try again hoping to lue have some wonderful news for you 1 ive e no not t been eating eatinger or sleep ing 1 I missed you so and I 1 repented so wy lay selfishness with you and my a attitude toward your family ive not been reasonable or fair or generous I 1 felt that you were slip slipping pang away from me because I 1 hold you because I 1 rate you sou these es moved ernestine profoundly fo weeks of work and nothing sold the fear of losing her and the children and add the need to stick at the thing ming bebas be was trying to do until he did it she could feel hi fit him ashard a sharp pain of restlessness and discouragement and berlove her love poured lout out on him darling it matter I 1 can stay here with mamma all summer she understands I 1 can cm stay here until you get your comic strip right they understand that its you and I 1 together always will dont rry cry darlin darling 1 I it moan mean a thing she told him and added with some whimsicality its my condition darling I 1 am sim ply weepy and when I 1 think thin khow how near I 1 cameto came to doing something that would have hae lutner nil all my life and yours sours il you Y you on not even nearly ernestine peter had come up to them and heeln seeing tits his mothers tears lie he began to wall poudly loudly and aid elaine crowded close and thrust out a trembling lip will drew diew their attention from ernestine and gravely nely gr abstractedly lie he beg began to ahause them ile fie marked out the old familiar squares make a eat cat daddy make a cat commanded peter and will listening to ernestine but only half attentive began to put down the cais that peter loved so the for a |