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Show Scraps of m RECONSIDERED 1 The Doctor Thut Is a very bad 1 sprain. Vou will need absolute rest. 1 You will not be able to dunce for three months. The Premiere Danseuso That's tough. It cancels a three-hundred-a-week contract and me without a cent saved up. The Doctor Not a cent? ThMt's too bad. But don't worry. I think I can fix you so you can go on tomop row night's show. SLOTHS DWELL IN TREES "lie's a verituble sloth Just Bits around and talks about his family tree." : ' "Well, sloths always dwell in trees." Put Out Wrong Hand Here rest the bonea Of Emily Bright; She put out her left hand And turned to the right. Comradeihip Sergeant (to new recruit) Under 'comradeship" we put all that one man would do for another. For example, ex-ample, what would you do If your friend had his breakfast on the table, his buttons were not cleaned, and the bugle blew for parade? Itecruit I should eat bis breakfast for him while he cleoued his buttons. Weekly Scotsman. Soup. Hewitt I can't pay what you ask for your automobile. Jewett Why not? Hewitt It Is not In accord with the fair price list for food. Jewett How Is on automobile food? Hewitt The blnmed car turned turtle. Empty Applause. "Your audience wus ready to applaud ap-plaud you by the hour." "Thut one reason why a campaign of education Is so slow," said Senator Sorghum, regretfully. "A crowd would always prefer to hear Itself holler than listen to sense." Washington Star. Her Own Way "A woman always wants her own way." "Not always," answered Miss Cnyenue. "I told a man never to speak to me again. Now he doesn't notice me." Washington Star. j A SAFE SHELTER Mrs. Monk How kind of you, Mrs. Pelican, to shelter me from this storm I Love on Ice Suspicion and reproach she's far above Thlj careful dame precise, Who thinks that ehe can keep her hue band's love By putting It on Ice. , . .. Gems From Dr. Johnaing Goldsmith was talking of going Into the chicken business, the Great Lexicographer Lexi-cographer opining that it should be easy. ; Goldsmith Sir, why? Doctor Johnslng Sir, you enn ai ways meet somebody coming out. Too Bad Ethyl Has Mrs. Chatterbox an Impediment In her speech? Methyl Yes, there are only twenty-four twenty-four hours In a day. No Business The Man Begging on the streets agnlul Didn't I tell you you'd better go to a school? The Urchin Yes, sir; I went, but they wouldn't give me nothing. Excelsior, Ex-celsior, Mexico City. Things She Did He Docs your mother object to yon petting? She Say, big hoy! Anything you see me doing yon don't need to ask me If she objects she does. Ought To Budget comment overheard on tramcar yesterday. First Ratepayer I think the budget ought to set Industry on Its feet Second Ditto Yes, old chnp and a good many motorists on theirs. Bent? Clioliy I think 1 have quite a liter ary bent Mabel Is that sol Well, Just keep on and you'll be worse than bent YouH broke I |