Show kathleen norris says the other womans comans child ben bell syndicate features q 1 J austin will mill gradually be restored to normality if all causes of friction are re wed moved from the domestic scene by KATHLEEN NORRIS ry Y HUSBAND came 1 I back from air service in england three months ago writes margaret jones from canada he was four years in active duty and eleven months in a hospital his injury was cranial and is entirely cured when he left his son by a previous marriage david was two years old and I 1 was expecting my first baby 1 I was my husbands office nurse at the time of his first cifes death and we had discovered a deep affection for each other this was however kept completely under control I 1 am telling you the exact truth when I 1 say that after the one first talk when we admitted our feelings not one word or look passed between us that could be criticized his wife was a delicata and nervous woman and whether she actually took an overdose of sleeping tablets or whether a normal dose was too much for a weak heart never was ascertained the coroner called it death from accidental causes A few months later austin and I 1 were knar ried little david accepting his new mother very placidly then austin went off to war and deirdre was born a lovely sweet tempered little girl and I 1 lived very quietly during the first war years I 1 managing to do part time work and to clear the mortgage from our little home and austins akstins Aus tins mother living with us and managing house and children she has now gone to live with a daughter unmanageable david there was the usual rejoicing when austin returned and he was fortunately able to assume his old work at an even higher salary so that we could be quite comfortable if it were not for david now nearly seven he is a strange unmanageable little boy with something uncanny in his instinct for annoying and outwitting his teachers and myself I 1 seem to be eternally correcting him or complaining of him a position in which I 1 hate to find myself ive always liked children and for our two ive always tried to plan intelligently forgiving much not ot hearing impudence not forcing issues substituting the pleasant positive for the disagreeable negative when I 1 could austin criticizes my attitude toward david austin has come back in a nervous irritable mood hard to endure but it is mostly where david cavid is concerned that the trouble arises david will not eat his dinner ner do his homework go to bed take his bath when I 1 ask him to I 1 try good natured coaxing give him five more minutes remind that he can flo oat athis his submarine in the bath cook what he likes he will never cooperate and austin blames me and sides with the child to make it worse my husband reverts to the past thinks that perhaps elsie did kill 11 herself perhaps she discovered the affection between us perhaps he e was the real cause of her death all this has turned our home into a place of discomfort petty quarrels carping nerves I 1 want to do tny my duty by all three but when I 1 om C lutui i his an teachers and me A STE stepmothers WOES the second cifes position almost always delicate is especially difficult when her war weary husband comes home to stay E every very returned soldier goes through a period of irritability fault fi find nd ing and restlessness before he settles back into the old ways again when there is a child by the first marriage in the situation the unhappy stepmother has a hard time indeed whatever she does is wrong she is too strict or too lenient or she feeds the child improperly or sends him to the wrong school her neurotic husband complains the best way out of this problem miss norris advises is to let this father take entire charge of his son for a while lie he will then find out what a hard job it is to rear a willful little boy this responsibility will trill help the veteran to forget himself and to recover his sense of proportion see austin spoiled and good little deirdre ignored when I 1 hear nothing but criticism it is really hard to bear austin takes the attitude that a wiser mother would not have these troubles and perhaps he is right I 1 want to show him every consideration but I 1 confess I 1 am a f failure al R ur e and stumped and dont know what to do this is one of the many postwar cases that demands the ultimate in self control patience and humor yes I 1 mean humor for margaret is taking this much too hard it is impossible isible to undo in a day or a ampa w week or even a year the mischief done clone by war conditions and home cum compromises promises let papa deal with son austin will gra gradually duall y be restored to normality if all causes of friction are removed from the domestic scene and the easiest and quickest way to remove them is to surrender to his father full responsibility for david reduce yourself to an all amiable onlooker if david wont eat and wont go to school dont even report it to austin let your husband see jt it for himself let the child sit up as late as he likes always being amiable and kind and wait for the first corrections to come from the man of the house let him play hookey hockey until the teacher teacher comes to complain ignore his affection of not having any appetite at meals and reduce your relationship with him to ain amusing using and affectionate camp companionship anion ship several other cases of exactly this type have come to my notice in the past few years the prevalence of divorce of course has created many of them in every case which I 1 have known this aloof friendly unconcerned attitude taken by the stepmother happily solved the problem for all concerned in most cases the right school was found for the difficult child hes your son austin I 1 on only y want him to love me is the unanswerable argument |