Show kathleen norris says good manners ma he h e good marriages bell syndicate service C 1 t f 17 some treat their husbands cavalierly and show contempt for them in company because they are ashamed of them their sneers and snubs are expressions of humiliation they probably are going about with richer married women by KATHLEEN NORRIS YOUNG married woman A in a kentucky town is a good housekeeper and a good mother to two small girls she keeps her expenditures well within her budget line and is a faithful wife but she is invariably sneering rude or inattentive to her husband when they are in company and he gets very tired of it eugenie spoils any party for me he writes whether its just having her sister to dinner or whether its a big affair at the he t club by making fun of me all the time at home ashes always nice to me and often acts upon my suggestions or asks my advice but the minute were out in company she is rude I 1 dont think she knows it but I 1 look at fellows whose wives are sweet to them and gosh I 1 surely do envy them to have a wife smile at you and listen to you and agree with you and even tell other people what you say or think would be heaven to me and the worst ot of it is that I 1 know eugenie really feel the amused contempt she is always showing toward me now for instance this letter continues if I 1 say that jones has had a fifty dollar raise eugenie says in a low tone to everyone in the group thirty I 1 say oh I 1 understand der stand it was a year and she says it was somebody laughs and says that s fifty a month eugenie and she says carelessly well larry never gets anything straight anyway always scoffing later I 1 suggest taking hamburgers to the picnic eugenie looks around the circle and says oh for heavens sake think of something original nall if I 1 comment upon european affairs she murmurs to someone not that larry ever reads anything but the comics if I 1 have any trouble with the car she seems actually triumphant over it and will laugh as she jumps into somebody alses car saying larry cant manage the old bus again 1 I gave her an icebox ice box last year as a surprise some woman friend looking at it had to say as women always do oh why did you get this brand why you get a so and so this is 27 cheaper darling eugenie said right before me if I 1 tell a joke or anecdote with which she is familiar she will barely wait vait until the last word before saying are you finished larry her allusions to me are that husband of mine and his queer ideas you know larry please dont bore them with that larry 1 I am to blame for everything the neighborhood in which we bought our house that the right people decline a dinner invitation that the wrong ones dont that little jean is shy and that diana is hold bold everything I 1 do say or have is dismissed with that same sneering superior sort of manner Is there any cure tor for this and how can I 1 go about trying it I 1 am perfectly satisfied with my home children and position in life and I 1 would be with my wife if she would only be polite to me analysis Is first step there would have been a cure in the old days before divorce larry when a man with such a wife could CAN THEY BE HAPPY IRS his lije it ibe is pleasant and kind to him when ichen they are alone but when they are out with others she disrude is rude and takes every opportunity to point out his faults sh ahr blames him for everything she spoils his parties and laughs at liis his gifts liis his bad luck and his effort to please but writes this kentucky husband he is satisfied with his home liis his children and his position and he would be satisfied with his wife if she would only be polite to liim hinz can they be happy can their marriage be saved kathleen norris answer is a lesson not only to husbands arid and wives but to all of us who want to live gracious and happy lives take lake her away from her present en viron iron ment make her live in a much humbler neighborhood and a much humbler way and refuse to go into company at all until she learned to treat him with decent respect but eugenie under this treatment would add one more marriage to the thousands that are broken up because of bad manners every year however when you realize why she is acting this way you may find your own cure analysis of the disease is always the first step wives treat their husbands so cavalierly because they are ashamed of them eugenie probably is going about with richer women women whose husbands are more successful her sneers and snubs are expressions of humiliation she is saying to her friends friends without exact words 1 I dont think larry is so much I 1 dont ont want you to think im satisfied with himl him I 1 in her heart she probably is more than satisfied she knows what a serene home life free from anxieties aexie you give her she has a part time maid a gar garden clen lovely children but all that count against the need she feels to impress her friends loyalty to you counts counas for nothing if only she can be sure that they are not laughing at her or pitying her an Effect effective ivo Tre treatment treather atmer it some years ago a wife of my acquaintance had this trouble with an inconsiderate husband he hurt her feelings interrupted her scorned her opinions laughed bantered teased until she was almost a nervous wreck finally for she was a dignified cultured woman who could afford to take this position she began to counter quietly you must forgive billys manners over and over again she would say it pleasantly enough apologetically billy protested that he had splendid manners and she asked him seriously your mother or someone ever do anything about your manners billy before she started a story at a dinner table she would say im afraid my husband is going to interrupt me and correct me so dont mind it for im used to it she kept a little list of the times he had flatly and mistakenly contradicted her and although she never showed it to anyone else she did occasionally good call his attention to it finally it was billy who began to get nervous there is small tun fun in badgering and correcting and interpolating terpo lating when the victim of it is all ready to demonstrate ones bad manners at the first opportunity and the upshot actually was that billy was cured |