Show what CO b b thinks about how to be fair CANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF S 0 every time the heirs to an undivided estate start litigating I 1 think of a decision which had in it more wisdom vis dom more common sense and more fairness than even king solomons inspired justice I 1 cant remember whether etwas a ruler upon the throne or a judge upon the bench who handed down this ruling but two brothers fell out over a proper division of their fathers possessions accordingly they carried di the dispute to a higher court of the land so his maj majesty or his worship or his his honor as the case irvin S cobb may have been said let the older brother apportion the property properly into what he regards as two equal shares and then let the younger brother ha have ve first choice of the shares but of course the lawyers have favored the plan it was too beautifully simple to suit any lawyer in any age the american bar association would just naturally despise it I 1 0 0 cemetery salesmen T RECEIVED a letter from one of our plushiest plu shiest cemeteries we have some of the plushiest plu shiest cemeteries on earth its a positive pleasure to be dead out here I 1 was urged to invest in a highly desirable lot for only a few thousand smackers sm ackers or buy a perfectly lovely crypt slightly more expensive but most luxurious through some private whim or pique I 1 failed to answer this tempting communication today I 1 received an appealing follow up letter I 1 gather that if I 1 neglect this splendid opportunity ill live to regret it or maybe I 1 wont such thoughtful attention merits response im replying as follows dear gents space in a graveyard is the last thing I 1 shall require when that time comes somebody else will do the shopping trusting these few lines may find you the same yours gratefully but if a representative calls in person as he will im a gone gosling those slick talkers always do get me you just ought to see my collection of oil stocks now theres something that does need burying making juleps SOME COME disputatious disputatious soul seeks to 0 reopen the ancient debate over the proper recipe for mint julep I 1 decline the invitation since the dred scot decision nothing has stirred up as much bitter controversy south of the ohio river north of the ohio river count the yankee conception of a julep is calculated to make a host of sleeping kentucky brigadiers rise up from their respective bourbon casks and start giving the rebel hiss naturally the only perfect julep is the paducah julep just drop in next summer and sample the real product on its native heath not at a saloon where the bartender is likely to have heretical ideas such as using preserved fruits and even putting the sugar syrup in first which amounts to downright crime but in the private home western superiority IN TN BORNEO tigers slay such an 1 incredible host of natives that the yearly mortality is proportionately almost one tenth as great as the average number of persons who will be wiped out in traffic fatalities on american highways during any given 12 months in india owing to the refusal destroy of those benighted hindus to destroy any living creature inhabit tants annually are killed by venomous serpents whereas in this country in 1936 we spent only 15 billions for crime or 18 times as much as we spent on national defense yet managed to let many poisonous human snakes go free to build up murder statistics in japan geisha girls are governmentally licensed and protected which is indeed an aff aront to the principles of an enlightened people who patronize so called worlds fairs that are dependent on unabashed nudity for popular favor and shows dependent on foul lines and nasty situations IRVIN S COBB copyright service lct |