Show aoa about the ilie laws injustice ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA had it happened in another country wed say what curi albus ous ideas foreigners have of law enforcement A footpad with an evil record held up a victim A bystander saw the crime identified the thief the ruffian was held beld under indictment but he could give bond the spectator was detained as a material witness a gentle way of saying he was locked up exactly as though he had bad been the criminal well he was irvin yn g S cobb guilty of being poor six months later came the trial the defendant having been out all diat liat time on bail looked hale and hearty bearty the prosecutions witness was produced under guard pale and iickey from close confinement it help his health any when the crooks brooks attorney browbeat him yelled at him practically aUy accused him of perjury the citizen sued the state for false imprisonment for loss of wages tor for separation from his family for all hed suffered under the statutes he had no standing they ahey threw his case out meanwhile the convicted crook had been released by the parole board and was free as a bird aquatic novelties discoveries were interesting made in hawaiian waters by government ichthyologists for fear the similarity of sound may lead to wrong impressions let me state that this department has nothing to do with secretary ickes although since ichthyology pertains to 13 ish fish ame mme secretary perkins might possibly have a contrary view on this point because they do say there are moments in the cabinet when all is not sweetness and accord however the point is that uncle sams piscatorial sharps dredged up a fish that is most delectable for six months of the year but poisonous theother the other six so at least found a creature emblematic of the california climate let this be regarded around here as treason I 1 will state that im as loyal a native stepson as any that ever came out of iowa having been here long enough now to join in passing resolutions endorsing the scenery and at intervals uttering three loud ringing cheers for the sunsets b also let envious florida refrain from gloating to typify Flo climate that fish would be good only four months of the year and powerfully hard to put up with the rest of the time 0 0 lecturing adventures IN TN ALABAMA is a sect which fori bids its converts to laugh or even smile now I 1 know who it was bought out the house when I 1 delivered a humorous lecture down there the other day a chap asked me why I 1 go back on the lecture platform I 1 told him id appeared in practically ever sizable town in america and though it was years ago and probably popular indignation had abated now still I 1 taking any chances 1 I was waiting for some new towns to be built once I 1 tried the experiment ot of slipping around to the front door to hear bear what the crowd said coming out that was the night I 1 attempted suicide elcide by gas but was saved when n someone passing through the hotel corridor smelled something that smelled even worse than the hotel smelled belled mel led A lecturers lot is not a happy one but usually its the audience that suffers most 0 0 0 eating oysters I 1 a new movement called eat oysters in i na any ny month th you please movement or unless youre working on space rates it may be called E 0 1 I A M Y P M for short its sponsor says the prejudice against eating oysters in months having an or r in them is a fallacy dating back 2000 years when between hiccoughs coughs a roman senator said oysters should be eaten only in certain seasons so it appears weve been penalizing ourselves ever since then for the indigestion of a roman senator although so far as eating the california oyster is concerned he runs around forty to the dozen I 1 personally could refrain for the whole year without any undue longings the california oyster looks something like a brass overall button suffering from verdigris ver tigris still maybe its all for the best because during may june july and august is when the oyster does practically all his courting theres little enough romance left in the world and anyhow how who am I 1 to come between an n oy oyster ster and his lovelife love life he seem to have any too much tun fun the rest of the time IRVIN S conn I 1 C service |