Show s i SOMETHING FOR I I H EVERYONE H l rr FT A i k I By BERT LUCKY BOYACK 1 CHRISTMAS U N I These days my mother goes around k With th a twinkle in her eye I She meets my daddy at the door 1 t r To slip in packages so sly t I v t Did you ou get the t r she asks he spells out Y s i And uY-e-s. uY They th think that I Im I'm m not listening g Ift t j f And that I Id I'd d never guess 5 h F 1 f 1 have secrets too t f Is t But t I 1 can my Y 7 L My teachers help you see f For Ive I've a gift for o M MomAnd t J I And o one ne for D-a D D-a-d D Daddy D d D Daddy a dd y II by y Sylvia l I The space age has changed our lives Christmas and r toys If If we wish to buy the old fashioned but still O Oiz popular tinker toy set we may be ie both surprised and andl l iz I even a little startled when the clerk says We have havea a better one real mod Its It's called Pip Pin The Nose On I The Rocket I r rE t c Q Want to be rich It is is as simple as becoming a asinger asinger E singer like Bing Crosby and a composer like Irvin Irving Berlin and writing wiling a like White 4 song Christmas The e oft sung number has become a copyright which is isa I a publishing business itself for these two Written in hi li 1942 the song moved slowly when it was taken from a dozen or more numbers In in the film Holiday Inn Sales in sheet music are now over six million and that of records 61 million r j Berlin has a net gain of as publisher and l 1 for his share hare of the picture Crosby has coll collected collected col col- l ted royalties on over third one-third of the records the I greatest of the great hits for the Groaner I t The mythical Scotchman of yester-years yester walked out outI I behind the house on Christmas Eve fired his gun into I I the air and came inside to exclaim Santa Claus just committed suicide The present day Scotchman is less I. I obtuse he bluntly remarks to his children There will willI willbe t I II be absolutely no toys this year None of them have passed the standards for safety for toys set up by the thet t Safety Commission Husband looking for a book for his wife for Christmas Christmas Christmas Christ Christ- mas Do you have a book called Man the Master I of Women Salesgirl The fiction department is on the other tl side sir As the dentist was completing some dental work on ona I a gentleman patient he picked up a different syringe from the one he had been using and gave the patients patient's t i L mouth a good squirt That tastes very good observed the patient What is it Oh said the dentist casually rye whiskey I just use it at Christmas time A Seasonal Thought Men Mien always have hope of a better world when they see the miracle of Christmas Charles A. A Wells Flora My liMy boy friend gave me a a diamond bracelet for Cora And I suppose the usual clasp went with it What with the population explosion in the world who knows but that the number of elves will be doubled and Santa may open a branch at the South Pole Few men can be spared the pointed finger of dissent these days there are those who claim that even Santa Claus Clans is a hippie Shopping ng Its It's fun to go shopping with someone you like Some good friend who wouldn't mind if and you stop you gaze in the windows and wander about looking round in each different shop Its It's so nice just to stare at the things that you'd though like you haven't the money to toI I buy pretty hats shoes and gowns books and furniture I too lovely pictures you have to pass by But ButI I Im I'm sure Id I'd be bored if I had all these things for myself- myself heaps of to the and is money spend for wishing wanting half of the fun of a day round the shops with a friend 1937 Quiet Corners A department store in Las Vegas hired a Santa Claus The kids tell him what they want and he gives them ahem the odds on getting it At a holiday tea a hostess demonstrated how little attention people pay to actual words As she passed the cakes she smilingly commented These green ones are colored with Paris green the pink with strychnine Every guest unconcernedly took a cake and thanked her THE FIRST WINTER The storms of winter lashed the coast tJ t The snow was very deep And sifted through the clapboard roofs On those who tried to sleep r t 6 I wonder if the children then r r Thought it a lot of fun t 0 To find snow blankets on their beds bedsOn bedsOn On top of those homespun 1111 r We say so little about the faithful we should offer a small salute and for one year gift wrap our garbage 1 11 1 1 Virginia Douglas reminds us that children should definitely be told the Santa Claus story Childhood is a special pec al time and keep children happy when they are arem arem m in that world of childhood is ver very y important 1 11 Some people believe that when Bob Hope stops making Christmas trips to our troops Santa Claus will also be too tired for his yearly rounds For the millions I of men who Hope visits each year this would be true As one nurse put it after watching Miss World with 0 tears streaming down her face as the Hope troupe completed a day of visiting of the wounded This is a wonderful change Some of the things Ive I've seen lately haven't been either pretty or funny I LAST WORD FOR THIS TIllS WEEK I t r To our faithful old friends To our cherished new friends 4 And to those whose friendship We hope to earn we extend a aVERY VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON |