Show Something S o m eth in For Everyone Every one i Rv ity BERT BOYACK I FARMERS Our farmers round well pleased with constant gain Like other farmers flourish and complain George 1832 Crabbe 1832 1754 THE BROWNS were creek farmers and their then l water high right failed during late summer and they had to watch their vegetables wilt while the water passed on down the creek One summer however the Water Master 1 noticed that the Browns' Browns vegetables were remarkably fresh and green Careful search revealed no evidence of a dam buthe but buthe buthe he kept a close watch and one day found the children irrigating ir irrigating irrigating ir- ir the garden Rounding the bend he found the dam There in the middle of the creek sat plump Mrs Brown casually and legally taking a dip The water was backed up bel behind nd her ample proportions and overflowing toward the garden where the cl children directed it down the rows A svelte redhead was driving her Jag cross-country cross last summer The trip was a hot and dusty one and when she spotted a small pool on a little farm not far off the road she stopped slopped for a swim Slipping out of her clothes she plunged in and had been enjoying the cool water for a afew afew afew few minutes when she became aware of two farmers watching ng her from behind some bushes Her bier clothes were at the other side of the pool but there was an old washtub stuck in the sand near her and holding it in front of her she marched out of the water toward them Dont you two old fools have anything ng better to do she snapped Do you know what I tl think Yes maam ma'am drawled the taller of the two men you think that there washtub has a bottom in it One day a farmer found l his s new hired hand a city- city bred fellow forcing a cow to drink a pail of milk Hey yelled the farmer the idea of feeding that pail of milk to the cow coin Well explained the new hand the darn fool stepped in it and got it all dirty so Im I'm running it through again An unhappy son of a southern farmer was marched off to school by the truant officer Larnin mocked the farmer Fiddlesticks Why they're n my poor boy to spell with a P LAZIEST MAN ALIVE Wl While le walking along a bank of a stream a man came across a fellow lying lazily under undera a tree with a fishing line in the water on which the cork was bobbing frantically Hey youve you've got a bite he said I Yeah drawled the fisherman Would you mind pulling it out The man did so only to have the recumbent one ask Would you mind taking the fish off the hook i and tossing it back in the creek Tl This s was done and the man commented jokingly As I lazy as you are you ought to have some kids to do these things for you Not a bad idea yawned the fisherman Got any idea where I could find a widow with children A farmers farmer's wife wie was being congratulated on nursing her husband back to health after the doctor had given up all hope A friend asked How did you manage it The wife replied When the doctor said that Walter was going to die I asked myself one question and I knew he had to get well What was the question you asked yourself your yourself yourself your your- self Mag l ie the friend inquired Maggie 1 replied Who in the world wants a widow and I four children i I v PARTY LINES In many farming communities the i phones are all party lines and neighbors listen in for i v miles mlles One night during a prolonged dry spell old Ed j a shrewd cattle rancher got a call from a Kansas City I v v buyer who said Understand youve you've got some steers to r sell Well now dickered Ed Im not sure I want to sell right now n Ed for heavens heaven's sake broke in an agonized wail I o from the party line you sell them steers You know C v ov you aint got any grass e I 3 LAST AST WORD FOR THIS TIllS WEEK The neck is something j if you dont don't stick out you wont won't get in trouble up to i I 4 |