Show Bees WAXING By Mary MaryBee Bee I FINALLY realized my hearts heart's I desire-I got a brand- brand new catalogue I USTA A BE they sent mail mail- order catalogues to anyone who even hinted they might be Interested interested inter Inter- ested in ordering something from it But anymore you h have v to pro promise m i s e to love h honor 0 nor cherish and guard it with your life before you are even considered considered considered con con- for the honor I HAD TO fill out a form formin in triplicate giving my name address and personal references references references refer refer- from fifteen prominent citizens T THEN THE H E N THEY required a credit check It didn't matter that I wasn't interested in buying buying buying buy buy- ing on their installment plan now-days now a good credit rating is so important that most stores wont won't even accept a cash sale from someone without a credit check AFTER THAT HA T they had to have the name of my parents my brother and sisters all my husbands husband's relatives and even wanted to know the whereabouts whereabouts whereabouts where where- of my Aunt Gussie on my fathers father's side who has spent the past five years in the Alaskan oil fields as a go-go go dancer FINALLY AFTER giving my application due consideration they decided they would loan me a catalogue Of course I have to promise to order from it and if I dont don't they will send sendan an armored car with six machine-gun machine packing guards to pick up my catalogue WHEN I GOT my prize home homeI I hid in the closet to look at it so none of my neighbors would know I had a order mail-order catalogue catalogue catalogue cata cata- logue and start casing the joint BOY DID I get a shock Its It's been five years since I had a order mail-order catalogue and andI I didn't realize the prices had taken such a jump I dont don't mean I haven't bought any anything thing for five years but when I shop in the discount stores I always search the newspaper ads for the best buys and go go right Tight past the regular counters to the bargain racks BESIDES YOU DONT DON'T get much of a chance for price comparison shopping in the stores Usually there is a clerk standing near-by near eyeing you He Heis is e either e r sizing you up as a potential shop-lifter shop or wishing wishing wishing wish wish- ing you would hurry and make makee your purchase so he could get back to flirting with the checkout checkout checkout check check- out girl or raising prices on articles that arent aren't moving fast enough But with a new order mail-order catalogue you have plenty of time to shop make a decision I DOUBT IF Ill I'll be using my order mail-order catalogue much so if 11 you see me being carried off to jail in chains you'll know I its because I didn't order enough stuff from my order mail-order cata cata- logue |