Show y Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK Hitler didn't believe in God he believed In astronomy and asked his when he was going to die and the said On a Jewish Holiday Hitler asked him to give him the exact date and the said On the day you die As told by Jessie Owen great athletic star A Chinese Pundit was giving a lecture to a very enthusiastic enthusiastic enthusiastic enthus enthus- audience when the lights suddenly went out He seemed unruffled and asked that each individual in the audience raise his hands They did so and the lights went wenton on directly You see beamed the pundit Old Chinese saying Is no bunk Many hands make light work I Jackie Leonard said the Israeli war was so short Bob Hope didn't even have time to entertain the troops If It you get a new used car and It runs like an Egyptian turn It back In quick There is a new French pastry on the market named Crust There will probably be more singing groups rather than less There less There are plenty of oC names left such as these The Pneumatic Custards The Chocolate Check Stubs The Mighty Milk Milkshakes Shakes The Parrot The Carraway Castaways The Hot Buttered Rum Dums Sixty-eight Sixty percent of the travelers non-travelers have of less than a year Of those who vacation most of them use the fan family ly automobile and nearly half of the active travelers have income less than a year and always travel out-travel those who are In the or over brackets Aspirin reduces sunburn Over people In Inthe inthe inthe the USA take daily dally medication of some sort If you dont don't you better see a Doc Doc you must be sick and dont don't know about it WITTY TIDBITS Dr to patient Do you wheeze like that all the time Patient No only when I breathe A six year old boy recently gave this advice to a little girlfriend girl girlfriend girlfriend friend You have to be smart to handle parents like listening to their problems humor them give them their own way and lots of oC love Some people are so unpatriotic unpatriotic unpatriotic that when you fly the flag on a holiday they think you may be opening a new post office Your word is something you must keep after giving it to someone else The animals that have their eyes closest together are the smallest A baker is the most unselfish of persons because be because because be- be cause he is always selling what he kneads himself X is in the middle of Texas A six year old delinquent Is a childhood Cow bells are put on bulls because the horns may not work A s small mall town is a place where on the and all they do Is sit around and shoot of off their mouths The first thing to be taught when driving a acar acar acar car is to slow down before It Is put in reverse Many a heavenly body in the form Corm of a girl holds many a young boys boy's attention this time of year The success of a va vacation vacation vacation va- va cation usually depends on three things a things a good climate good food and good looking scenery SWEET YOUNG ONE ONEAt At the beach you will see a whole lot of me Though blushes you wont won't find a trace But when dressed for the street I turn red as a beet When the wind whips my skirt out of place place- f 1 t Kudos of the week goes to the Davis County School District Buildings and Grounds Dept and Supervisor of Asphalt Deon Stuart of Kaysville 2130 square feet of asphalt paving was put down at North Main St. St east of the Bountiful Junior High ball field It Is clean and looks so much better than the 3 and 4 ft weeds Quip from a Pip Some girls dont don't want to marry go- go getters looking for gotters already A Car manufacturers t ar arent aren't t t the e only o ones calling back th their I b. b cars for a safety check Girdle manufacturers are also calling back some girdles because there Is too tight aset a aset aset set back It used to take a month for a silkworm to make a silk S dress now dress now it makes one on its day off but one young woman has an hour glass figure and not a second of it wasted Pat Priest wore one of the shortest miniskirts to be worn In Hollywood Park When she was asked Is this next years year's dress Pat replied with a straight face no no Its It's last years year's and I grew a little LAST WORD FOR THIS WEEK From Pats Pat's mother who Is now Secretary of the Treasury of California and past Secretary of the Treasury of the United States for eight years and formerly a resident of Bountiful The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning Ivy Ivy Baker Priest |