Show r I By IRIS One of the many things women and men disagree on is ls th lh the a away directions to passers They approach way to give the tas task k from wholly different angles A MAN IAN FOR INSTANCE asked how to reach East Cupcake from Mutton Holler will settle down to do job with First he pushes his hat hatto to the back of his head with a forefinger hikes one foot up on a handy post and picks a stalk of grass to chew The asker 1 if its it's a man joins him The giver direction-giver goes on about Turn left when you git gitto to the white house atop the hill and Bear due east from the slab-sided slab barn with them Angus bulls or about how You go north on Highway and take the first left hand off Interstate direction asker r nods with an accurate 15 The picture of o where hes he's to go If lf a woman is asked for the same directions the first thi thing she does is come all unstuck At any rate if the woman is me meshe meshe meshe she does If someone stops and asks me how to get there from here I forget what TOWN Im I'm in never mind how to find anyplace In it If what the direction asker wants is In plain sight where I can point to it H Im I'm in business Otherwise the both of us would be better off to find someone else like a man to ask Because by that time were we're BOTH lost I HATE TO ADl ADMIT IT MEN l ARE better at giving directions than women but unfortunately all the evidence is on their side There is the obvious fact that most females cant can't tell their left hand from their right right not not straight off oH anyway There have been occasions when my husband foolishly de pending on me to check road signs has had mo me m tell him to turn left only to holler a switch at the last minute and end us up in the borrow pit or worse My husband has sat behind the wheel of a car bunged up by such a moment of indecision on my part and yelled at me something awful It doesn't do any good to tell him it isn't m my FAULT I cant can't tell m my lefthand left leR lefthand hand from my right Nothing Improves his disposition at such sucha a time I doubt if even a slice of hot apple pie would help much The only soul Ive I've ever met who was worse at giving than I am was an Irish policeman I found in New York Not that he was lost lost I I was But I asked him how to find a place that was off his beat He didn't know although he was nice about it He said hed he'd be glad to call a policeman and ask him If I wanted him to I said he didn't have to do that but could he just tell me If I should go north or east of where I was He scratched his head awhile and admitted he didn't know where north or east of anything was or south and west westfor westfor westfor for that matter The only direction he was real sure of was wan straight up Anyway I know York City is so densely populated The people there depend on policemen for directions on how to get out of town and the poli policemen ce men dont don't know knew the way I THINK A NEPHEW OF mine solved the problem erf oi giving the most thoroughly of anyone I know Hired as a wielder flag-wielder for road construction in Salt Lak City last summer he found his most difficult job was gi giving ving directions to tourists He said when he finally began to tell everyone Go straight ahead two blocks and turn left no matter where they wanted to go it made life a lot easier Besides he added the world is round and nobody can fall off so how lost can you get I |