| Show v Something For Everyone By Dy BERT BOYACK HOYACK so u S A There are two ways the top of an oak tree you can climb it or you can sit on an acorn Frank Boyden The young bride of six weeks was letting off steam All I do dois dois dois is wait walt on you hand and foot foot foot- she complained And what do doI I get for it Just suppose suppose suppose- the irate wife continued that we wives went wenton on strike What would you oU do dothen dothen dothen then then then- Well Sell now you just go right righton on and strike strike- the husband re replied replied replied re- re plied quietly I have a honey of ofa a strike-breaker strike in mInd You Knew It All The While There are taxes hidden in ina a loaf of bread This esH estimate mate was made by the Tax Foundation Foundation Foundation tion of New York Since then there have been additional taxes levied E Editors Editor's d it 0 r s Note Why dont don't we bake a cake The Mimic Boss Who do you think you are anyhow The foreman Employee No o sir Boss Then stop talking like a alame lame brain This is how it happened Old King Cole was a merry morry old soul A merry old soul was he He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl and he called for his fiddlers three and he said saidI I If you Ou kooks play any more or twist m music u sic around the palace its it's the burning burning burning burn burn- ing oil ol vat for you Understand Understand- WITTY TIDBITS Airline pilot to inquiring wife Oh the usual day you know New York London Paris Rome One woman strap-hanger strap on a bus busI I 1 suppose its it's fitting that we should stand After all well we'll outlive them cannibal chief got hay fever from eating that grass widow Another cannibal arrived late at a dinner dinner dinner din din- ner party His host looked at hi him m mand mand and said Sorry everybody's eaten With long haircuts predominant for boys and girls one knows not if they should say Me Tarzan or orMe Me Jane Gimmick of a care salesman salesman salesman sales sales- man claims that a new car will change the owners owner's personality and the potential buyer may ask What's wrong with the old me The oldest tree in the j. j k world is the elder elderA A yardstick yardstick yard- yard r stick has has three walk A A tea kettle complains complains complains com com- plains about one ailment Boils The name of ot a abird abird abird bird is something we do at every meal meal Swallow Swallow Lady Godiva was the greatest gambier gambler gambler gam gam- bler bier in history She history She put everything everything everything every every- thing she had on a horse You know youre you're a house husband husband husband hus hus- band when the wife says You are not going to do that in my home homel- One returned European traveler says The bathing suits are getting so small they wrap them up in the price tag Doctor to woman woman wom wom- an client on a diet Well then keep up those between meal snacks and skip br breakfasts e a ts lunches and suppers When you are put on a bland or liquid diet you have the last word word alter after all no one is going to force orce you to swallow The Tho business man who was being kept busy as a bee did not surprise a friend when he het t walked into the office unannounced unannounced unannounced unan- unan and saw a little honey f on his is lap i- i f M Mf JJ f jj Teacher Can you give me mean an example of ot wasted energy i j Senior Telling a hair rais- rais jl rt ing g story to a headed bald man V T T TIt It served the moderator of one of the innumerable quiz shows right His pot jack-pot question question question ques ques- tion was Can you name the difference difference difference dif dif- dif dif- ference between amnesia and magnesia The audience howled with joy when the contestant contestant contestant con con- after a moments moment's deep deliberation hazarded The fellow with amnesia has no idea where hes he's going Humorist Don Marquis was in ina a books bookshop hop autographing copies of one of his books As an elderly elder elder- ly lady gratefully accepted her copy she murmured wistfully 1 y wish this were a first edi edi- tion tion Believe me madam re replied replied replied re- re plied Marquis with my books the second editions are rarer than the first One afternoon an English boxer boxer boxer box box- er and a R wolfhound were walking down Clown Piccadilly Square In London Were having some pretty lean days in England England- re remarked remarked remarked re- re marked the boxer The economic economic economic eco eco- situation is awful As a matter of fact the humans are even eating horse meat these days Said the Russian Wolfhound Maybe so but in Russia conditions conditions conditions condi condi- are marvelous I eat bones dipped in vodka and caviar I Ilive Ilive Ilive live in a dog house made of rare wood found only in Si Siberia eria with ermine mats on the floor Hmm mused the boxer If It conditions are so great there what are you doing in England I 1 like to bark once in a awhIle awhile awhile while whIle- said the wolfhound Some may resent an arm armchair armchair armchair chair philosopher but in retrospect retrospect retrospect retro retro- Those who oppose our being in Viet Nam have been taught or know nothing about Pearl Harbor and its resultant lesson of history And along the same line here is the Last Word For This Week Would you rather have peace in our time and death and de destruction destruction destruction de- de for our children or would you rather face the issue now Thomas Paine |
