Show III r 4 t T X j J i Dads Dad's 1 S e 0 1 t f I i j t Column urn n f fi 4 i t t 10 I 0 oI- oI I Ia a X- X XoI oI- oI z ONE ONI O E WEEK THE YEAR had begun For Willie Weeks a a. poor mans man's SUN lIe He was W s beset with bill and dun dunAnd dunAnd dunAnd And he had bad very ery little MON This cash said he will 11 not pay my dues dues' Ive I've nothing nothing but ones and and TUES A bright thought struck him and ho lie said I 1 The Tho rich Miss I will WED But Dut when then he paid his court to her herShe herShe herShe She lisped but firmly said no THUR ThuIt Alas Aias said he then I must die His ms soul went where they say souls FRI They found his gloves and coat and hat bat h t The upon coroner coroner upon them SAT Wells Carolyn O O O SILVER MINES II ES WILL GET l' l V C PROSPERITY LIES AND misrepresentation have marked the highly expensive campaign of ot industrial silver users to prevent western silver producers from getting an honest price for their production says the Denver Demer Mining Record One report I says that the Industrialists who are fighting to secure silver sliver for their plants at the tho lowest possible price have on their agreement to fix liz the price of ot silver at an ounce the ounce the price at which the metal was to be sold Eold to the U. U S. S Treasury and the price at which tie the t e Treasury was to sell the metal to the industrialists Tho patriotic members of ot Congress who have fought the silver manufacturers ers trust to a 9 standstill are being made tHe trie victims of ot an accelerated smear cam cam- campaign campaign campaign In an effort to break down their defenses and open the U. U S. S Treasury to the tho Jewelry crowd who are arc backing the campaign of ot misrepresentation in order to secure cheaper white metal They can now buy Treasury silver that Is available at 71 lid an ounce The new bill that they are fighting so desperately would allow them to purchase available U. U S. S Treas- Treas and that group employs poison polson pens and ury silver sll at an ounce The silver manufacturing group wants cheap silver dishonest pens to turn public opinion against the silver bloc bl in Congress and tho the silver miners of ot the nation Jewelry stores all over the nation have been recruited to help smear the silver sUver V bloc In Congress and bombard V senators and congressmen congressmen to vote against a silver sliver price advance allce Newly organized silver users' users committees are arc in the field telling the public falsehoods to win their fight to get cheap silver sUver They intimate that the silver sll bloc is preventing the silver sliver using Industries of the nation from get get- getting getting getting ting m tal That Is not true Silver Sliver is available at at this time and will willbo willbe be bo available at an ounce after the new is fixed by Congress The Los LoJ Angeles Times a reactionary Republican newspaper of ot tho the Bryan anti-Bryan stripe is 19 the tory in the ranks of ot west west- western western ern em newspapers In the matter of ot silver sUver I Its Issue of ot May 23 contained an editor editor- editorial editorIal editorial ial of ot the typical canned variety written evidently in New England and shipped to Los Angeles with Instructions The mining men of ot Los Angeles should boy boy- boycott boycott boycott cott that nasty sheet O O O I CAN C. TillS THIS HE liE TRUE WOMEN WILL never ne believe this but machine tests have proved that men are the better drivers well drivers well a little better Yes we Ye we know that Dads Dad's always tap tap- tapping tapping ping somebody's fender but the Ameri Amen American American can Refining Company says that through Its Ita a testing device It has obtained conclusive evidence Of Ot male motorists 31 had perfect scored The women drivers turned up a grand total of ot only 15 However this Is pretty close and may may- maybe maybe be if 1 Suzy Buzy had bad as many chances to drive as Bill lId aid she's be quite as capable Bill Isn't very good at crocheting either O O O STRUCK JAP PUPILS WIN TEACHER Tt APOLOGY THIRTY-NINE THIRTY second grade pupils pup p u p lis 1 1 a struck struck and and won Rebellious because they resented their teachers' teachers distribution of ot vegetables V grown in the school garden they used sports equipment one recess without V asking permission The teachers S proved with proved with slaps Their feeling and posteriors bruised the children stalked ort oil V The Tho teachers visited the tho childrens children's k homes apologized and asked the pupils I to return The children did Associated L Press S I v Q O FOR Olt MEN IE ONLY QUIET DOWN gentlemen from now S on not only the sheep but the lambs are Me going to get fleeced and fleeced and for you ou alone The government has put the fin tin finIshing touches on plans plaus for the use o ot of woolen and worsted fabrics which will wll automatically put the finishing touches on any pony plans the ladles ladies might have fo for new wool suits V All those howls for clothing have pen pen- penetrated penetrated the official heaven Suit manu manu- manufacturers manufacturers will be required to certify that tha all woolen fabrics they the purchase from mills win will be used solely for mens men's suits FUll u steam ahead lets ahead lets let's get production going It its it's wool and n d a yard wide if Its It's guaranteed guarante to t be a wolf The The Leader Leader- Lea r- r Tribune Fort Valley Ga O O O A FRIEND who doesn't like John L L. Lewis i has lies suggested he be made President eat ent ot of the U U. Us s- s S. S so he could take the responsibility for tho the actions of labor I lead Elmer I Elmer Davis commentator O 00 O o DR ALBERT Einstein organizer of ot the Emergency Committee of ot Atomic Our Our world faces a Crisis as yet ye unperceived by those possessing power to 10 make mako great decisions for good or evil The Tho unleashed power of ot the atom has baa changed everything save our V modest thinking JUST JU T PARAGRAPH V FIRST LUNATIC you cant can't Continued on Page Four I Dads Dad's Column Continued from rage l tine One climb up that beam of ot light that's shin shin- shining shinIng shining ing In the window Second Lunatic Do you think Im I'm crazy Id I'd get half halt way up and you'd turn It off ort I o 00 o o- o oA I A TRUE lover of ot music Is a man who upon hearing a soprano singing In the bathtub puts his bis ear to the tho keyhole O O O AVIATION ENGINEERS aro are predict predict- predicting predictIng predicting ing that with In tho next three years jet propulsion will be used as standard equipment In cargo and transport planes Jet engines will be smaller than air- air cooled units of or today but will develop from to horsepower Bangor Dally News o o o oMY MY MT HUSBAND has no bad habits whatever He doesn't drink or gamble and he h spends all his evenings at home Does he smoke I Only In moderation He lie likes a cigar after a good dinner but I 1 dont don't suppose I he ho smokes two a month O O O I MOTHER IS It correct corr to say that y L water ater a horse when he lie Is thirsty Yes darling Well then said Jimmy picking up a saucer Im going to milk the cat catI I Io o o ELEVEN HUNDRED bales of ot Japanese I silk ate are on their way to this country where It will be known as aa a sensational new ne fabric fabrio likely to rival nylon In popularity Boston popularity Boston Globe O O O FIRST BIG cigarette drive since Vie the price Increase authorized recently by OPA Is h that Inaugurated by Philip Mor rise ris Breaking in newspapers In cities In space ranging from GOO COO to 1500 lines Philip Morris Morris' copy for tor the tho ads Is sharply competitive O O O OTHE THE NATION must be on a peacetime pea basis when an Indiana soldier can pull three holdups with a toy pistol O O O FATHER Now son Bon teli me mc why I punished you Son That does It itt I First you pound the life Ufo outa me and anel now you dont don't know why you did It it DOCTOR I 1 dont don't like your husbands husband's looks Wife Neither do I but I-but but hes he's good to tho the children Hi u |