Show Kathleen Norris Says When hen Y o r Daughter Breaks Away Alvay Bell Dell Syndicate Service I A Lh j k v 4 err 4 tA W LI LIS 1 S i ir iI r I Bee sleeps on a couch in the sitting room so 0 when rhen men come in to drink beer and smoke up the place she cant can't go to bed and when Ithen she does dOe go the room is i absolutely absolutely absolutely foul By KATHLEEN NORRIS I E ALL love ourselves so WE W much that it is hard to believe anyone can stop loving us A wife feels a stunned surprise when she learns that her husbands husband's affections are wandering elsewhere Her heart remembers the happier days when every word and glance from her met his devotion and his admiration and while she is not looking about for the affection affection affection tion of other men nor expecting to be regarded as irresistibly at at- attractive attractive attractive to men she DOES feel that it is astonishing as well as humiliating and agonizing to have old Phil turn to another woman A child is deeply hurt if Moth Moth- Mother er even pretends to like some other child as well or better A careless word from anyone we love an evaded engagement just the change in a tone of voice will cut us to the soul Melody Lingers On Girls write me that the ardor of the boy of the moment seems to have cooled What to do He CANT CAN'T have stopped liking them they wont won't think that Mothers have suffered untold agonies over sons who have been weaned away by life and by new friends or by exacting jealous beautiful young wives To be a mother at all is almost inevitably to suffer this loss and the world is full of gentle wistful elderly women whose lives could be so easily glori glori- glorified glorified glorified fied by a postcard a call a mes mes- message message message sage from some loved son son but but who never receive it Of late years a new phase of this old old story has developed I mean the independent daughter Some daughters marry at 20 or 22 set up happy little homes go in for the ideal round of babies hos hos- hospitalities hospitalities hospitalities home and social interests Other daughters dance and flirt for fora a year or two plan kitchen showers and bathroom showers for the other girls wear bridesmaids' bridesmaids frocks but dont don't marry Independent Daughter Then at perhaps 24 or 25 they demand independence They want to go away from home to join Peg or Joan in a separate establishment to manage their own friendships and coming and going to report to the family at home only when the fancy strikes them They take jobs in in- interesting interesting interesting jobs in bookstores or tea tea- tearooms tearooms tearooms rooms or they join friends who are doing interior decorating selling real estate or studying art dancing dancing dancing ing photography They build for themselves lives so fascinating and absorbing that they really dont don't need Mother and Dad any more and often they are arc somewhat heart heart- heartless heartless heartless less in their frankness in showing it Ive lost my daughter writes an Illinois woman on this subject I have two older sons both married but I cant can't live with either and see my two grandchildren only oc oc- My girl was my joy companion my great care since her father left me to marry another and younger woman Now Beatrice is gone too but not to a husband I could bear that But she's keeping a sort of bachelor establishment downtown in our home city with two other girls one of whom is a ahard aI ahard hard divorced disillusioned crea crea- creature creature creature ture of about 30 Bee is only 21 I She earns 22 a week fitting on baby MODERN BACHELOR MISS Here is a mother who wants her in in- independent independent dependent daughter dau to follow the dic dic- dictates dictates tates totes of oj the old song Tie Me Mc to Your Apron Strings Again She wonders if there are any other cases similar to her own oun Struggling to bring up the child after the loss of oj her husband she suc suc- succeeds succeeds succeeds until the bonds of her home be be- began began gan to weaken The daughter now a Itoman appears to value lalue her complete liberty more than the opinion of her mother Kilo thinks her place is fixed until marriage The Thc young oung daughter es establishes establishes herself in a downtown section of oj the city with rl th another girl and a di di- as roommates Working TV for a small salary the trio crowd croud into a small space and according to the mothers mother's measuring rule lice hie very lery factor ily She believes that the girls girl's health at least is being impaired by her mode of lit ing and ami asks Miss Norris to adt se her here it-here she sire has failed and ancI how she sire may entice her daughter clau back bach home The Tire advice aduce adt ce giten by Miss Bliss Norris Norriss s sage and may be read ral by marry many mothers with benefit to their aching hearts shoes shoes she she adores children and her father still sends her an occasional check Advice Not Wanted I would gladly keep house for her and her friends that friends that is decent friends but they dont don't want that No advice suggestions warnings from an older woman for them Sometimes they dont don't make up their beds at all Bee sleeps on a couch in the sitting room so when men come in to drink beer and smoke up the place she cant can't go to bed and when she does go the room is absolutely foul She brings me candy and books kisses me says she loves me But it seems to me a strange kind of love that doesn't take obedience and respect into consideration and a strange world when a girl that age can break away from the guidance of home It has made me nervous and brooding this knowledge that my own child prefers the society of others and I seem to have dropped most of my own interests and to have lost hold on life because of it I had always thought that when her schooling ended she would be at home for a year or two and then marry I feel my life and myself a failure and am wondering if you know of similar cases and whether there is any cure and where the fault lies She signs it Deserted Mother Yes of course there are similar cases Deserted Mother thousands of them In these days girls flock to our cities even from the most luxurious and pleasant of homes coop themselves up in a small apart apart- apartment apartment apartment ment eat in cheap restaurants run runabout runabout runabout about in the rains of winter and the soaking heats of summer perfectly convinced that the change is royally worth while Winning Her lIer Back Your Beatrice is only claiming the right that has always been her brothers' brothers the right to feel her own feet under her and to carry her own share of lifes life's responsibilities If she has had the right home train train- training training ing if she has a code however broad shell she'll come back Not back home not to be ques ques- questioned questioned questioned criticized managed any anymore more But back into your heart through her wifehood w her mother mother- motherhood motherhood motherhood hood her growing up to meet the problems about which youve you've been telling her and the failures and humiliations from which even your love can save her Occupy your your- yourself yourself yourself self with an equal independence meanwhile get interested in some some- something something something thing that will make mal c you interesting to her stop reproaching brooding regretting In that way and only in that way will you win her back |