| Show I Dear LouIsa My Ily son was forced into mar mar- with a girt girl he never nc loved They did not get along after they Were married and now flow they are divorced She has the child and doesn't want uny support from my son and be never sees the hUd child as he and his former wife live about miles apart lIE IS A nice looking Ilk Ilk- able boy but has never settled down and has drank right much mostly because ho he feels like he has made a mess out of his lIfe We are very poor people and andI I am a widow living on I a pension and feel that I cant can't belp him very much as I am set in Lately he has hasmet hasmet met a girl about five years years years' younger than he is and he thinks she is the most perfect girl In the world lie He asked her herto herto to marry him and she had accepted accepted ac- ac him HE BE WAS so afraid of losing this girl that he kept putting off telling her about his I former for for- or- or mer marriage But Dut she found out about it end and so did her ber parents who are very nice and they waited to see if he would tell them about and ex cx- plain what happened She got very much upset but finally said laid that she could forgive him for what he had done but she wanted him to be honest With her Her IIer parents have decided now that they should walt wait a awhile awhile while before getting married That they shouldn't date each other for awhile but have dates with other people My Myson Myson son says he doesn't wish to look at another girl and will stop drinking and has agreed not to see this girl for a while DO yOU really think the she should date other boys and not see my son for a while It doesn't seem fair to me but butI I haven't told him what I II It I A Worried Mother t t r f Answer t You say that your son likes the girls girl's parents and is wil wil- ling to ie try plan so the best thing for you to do is to remain quiet I can understand understand under under- stand how eager you are for your son to marry a nice girl girland girland and settle down as you think that will make a in his habits but for a man manto to reform n is before he mar mar- afterwards rica des and not f I IF JIB really means what be says and he and the girl truly love each other a waiting wait wait- lug ing period will do no harm I Louisa Dear Louisa I am to be married next month I like my laws in-laws very much but they are very dom dominating domi- domi people They tell my amy husband what he be should do doand doand and they have started on me My mother law to be called me yesterday and said that she had found the perfect apartment for me and had asked the man to hold it for us I was dumbfounded because because be- be cause it is not in the neighborhood neighbor neighbor- hood bood I wish to live in Most of the neighbors are older people and I 1 have been looking at a small smaIl house in a development where ma oy ny young people of my age live What can I do about this I dont don't want to get in bad with my lay husbands husband's people but I dont don't want other people run run- my lIfe Bride to Answer Now Is the time Ume to stop out side aide management of yo your lIfe if you ever expect to do so Be nice about it but firm Tell your law in how much you appreciate her Interest in you but that you have already tentatively selected your fu fu- ture home and that you you feel you OU will be much happier In a neighborhood among people nearer your own age than in a ai amore i more IDore formal location Some parents never realize that their children grow up and would like to make their town own decisions Even if these are arc not always for forthe forthe the best it Is their privilege I to decide what they wish to do I Louisa t Dear Louisa My mother law has been living with us ever since her husband died five years ago She he is a very nice person and andI I 1 am very fond of her We Weare Weare are very congenial She has a daughter bhe visits occasionally occasIon occasion- ally but the daughter has nevet neve nev- et er Invited her to live with them AND silt says the moth moth- oj vr r does docs that lih would not lire e with her if she asks her herto herto to because she would not be happy there Now the old lady is getting very feeble and takes a good bit of my time Ume to wait on her herbut herbut but I ama am glad to do this NOW MY l problem Is this She told me several days ago that she appreciated my amy kind ness so much that she wanted me inc to have her lovely silver silverlea tea lea service and that she was going to tell her daughter that but she hasn't done so yet Her lIer daughter is very aggressive and I know that she will claim everything her mother had as soon as she passes away What can I do about this 5 S. S J. J Answer If your law has many lovely things she should make a will and then there can be no argument about such things If she wont won't do this see that she tells her daughter her wishes when someone else is present so that you have a witness As your husband Isher is isher her son you can certainly claim the tea service when she passes on Louisa Dear Louisa We have adopted a baby and as we did this in a state far away and have recently moved here do you think it is necessary to tell people that the baby is adopted Mother Answer No I dont don't think it Is Anyone's Any Any- ones one's busin business ss Later on when the child get old enough you should tell but make him understand that he be is very specIal to you and your husband bus hus- band as you wanted him instead In in- stead of any other child Louisa Dear Louisa My mother is supposed to stay six months w with h me and six months with my sister but whenever It is sisters sister's time she writes that that they are eith either r going on a trip or some one Is sick etc Now I enjoy having mother and would be glad to have her all of the time if 11 we could afford it but our budget is very limited Sister on the theother other hand is well well-to-do and has things that I can never hope to have Mother stays three fourths of the time Ume with me and I dont don't want to hurt her feelings but what can I do Daughter Answer Have a heart to talk with your sister and suggest that she pay board for your mother to you six months of the year Tell tier her that as it seems to Inconvenience her herto herto to take care of mother and you you feel that she would wish to todo todo do her part in a financial way you feel your plan may be the solution Louisa Dear Louisa I am writing to you for some good advice I am 69 Years old and have never been married although I had some boy friends when I was young young- er I would make some man a good wife but what do I do doto to find a husband I am a decent do- do docent cent person but how do I go about finding a husband D. D L. L Answer There are so many wIdows in the world that it is a rare occasion when one as old as you are cant can't find a husband About your best chance I I would think is a house lag Ing job for some widower or orold orold old man who needs some ome one oneto oneto to care for that him is if you are a good housewIfe and physically able to take such a ajob job Good luckl lucki Louisa Dear Louisa My husband and I are ink tak big our first trip South and expect to visit friends in Tampa Tam Tam- pa and Jacksonville I I. I have been wondering about the kind of clothes I should take Is it i necessary to take a top coat I Mary J. J Answer By all means take a top topcoat topcoat coat and a lightweight suit as the weather is always and it may turn cold for a few lew days while you are I there Linens are good as are ale dresses with jackets Dear Louisa A friend and I are plating a trip to Europe But we are arc undecided whether to togo togo go by ship or by plane also whether to go with a tour or 01 to have some agency map out outa a schedule for us As AJ I imago Haag me ine you have visited Europe win will you suggest to US which of these Ideas is best L. L and F. F 1 Answer It all depends on what you wish to get out of your trip If you are interested in seeIng see see- lag Ing famous historical places palaces museums cathedrals etc you will certainly get more for your money by having bay hav- lag ing an experienced guide on onan onan an arranged tour Neither will you have to worry about reservations res res- or the care of your luggage or customs ON TIlE TEE other hand if 11 you ou wish to see the countries and know more about the people it may pay you to have your trip mapped out by an 81 agency and visit the different places at your Our leisure If you like a place very much you may ex cx tend your stay there and cilia cilia- mate some place you care for less On a conducted tour you have the companionship of those members of the tour but you rarely get to meet people of the countries People who travel alone or in pairs are received more freely by na an- tive citizens ot of foreign coun coun- tries AS TO whether one should go by ship or plane it depends do- do on the time you have to spend on your trip and whether you enjoy the sea or not If one is not in a hurry life on ship board can be won won- But Dut if you prefer to spend most of your time in Europe your choice should be beby beby by air Louisa Dear Louisa My son and his wIfe have haveth th three ee small children but they are so Interested in having a good time for themselves that they leave them and go off on trips very often If they had someone responsible to stay with the children it would not be so bad but they leave them with any girl they happen to hire at the moment I TRY to check on them the best that I can but my hus band is an Invalid and takes most of my amy time to care for him as neither of us is young Nothing I say seems to have any effect but I am worried ab about ut the children Perhaps if you wrote some advice in your paper my daughter in law might see It G G. G F. F Answer People make a great mistake mis mis- take if they neglect their chil dren when it is not necessary to do so So many problems and questions come up in little childrens children's lives and U if an un an mother or or father is there to answer questions or protect a child from getting the wrong behavior patterns it may save both the child and parents much grief later on MOTHERS l get tired and they and their husbands should most certainly not give up aU all fun and recreation in order to baby sit but childhood doesn't last long and what a child learns in his formative years has a lasting effect on lila his life later on So it is worthwhile to be moderate immoderate in the time you spend away from your thU chil dren And most parents would be to find out how much fun they can have with children if the youngsters are allowed to be a part of the good times DE BE as it may no child should be left with Irresponsible Ir Ir- responsible help Parents who follow such a method usually pay dearly for the fun they are supposedly having Louisa Dear Louisa What do you think of 15 year olds going steady It seems to rae me to be very unwise for a girl or boy of that age to confine con con- fine their association with the theother theother other sex to one boy or girL My daughter says that aU all of the girls in her crowd do this because it ii means that they will always have a date at th parties Will you please tell me wh what t trou rou think of this One other question Is it proper for a girl to receive arti articles of clothing from a boy Puzzled Mother ANSWER VEIt I think girls lose more by going steady with boys than they gain at su such h an early age To begin with they never have an opportunity ty to find out whether they like liko other lher boys beUer belier than the one they are going with Mother Another thing is that they become too familiar with each other which sometime some some- time l ds to trouble EVEN IF this 1 not th the case if the the boy becomes tired of the girl giri ho he can stop and she Is left alone while hi ha can ask anyone else he chooses for a date I can understand why a girl feels that she has to conform to the rule if all the others in her group have steadies but it seems to me that the parents of these children could help the situation if they would get together and have a rep group of young people meet with them and agree on some rules as to dat dat- lag Ing Believe It or Gl not there are many young people who would welcome such a course altho they may appear to op pose it As tea toa boy of 15 giving his friend articles of clothing this Is not proper and she should not be allowed to accept accept ac- ac such gifts Louisa Dar Bar Louisa My husband died last month and my daughter wants me meto meto to sell my house and come to o olive live with her but I am undo undo- I have lived here for 40 years and love my garden I Iam Iam am healthy and I dont don't know whether I would like to live with the children or not I Ilove Ilove love them and like to have them visit me and like to visit them but I do get lonely Do you think I would be happier to sell the house Grandmother Answer Dont Don't sell your house Let things rock along for awhile and see if you cant can't adjust to your situation It might be a good idea for you to take a roomer if you are lonely and if you can find someone whO is congenial or who works during the day but would be with you at night Louisa Dear Louisa We have two children a girl girland girland and a boy Here Is our probe lem The girl is a regular tom boy She is on the basketball team at school and can take care of the animals on our farm and loves it Our son is not interested in anything but music and books bocks He plays the piano beautifully and makes straight As A's at school What can parents do about such a situation Mother Answer Every child is and there is no percentage In try try- lag to change a creative li r- r son Into a practical physical type and vice versa versa Encourage both of your chU dren to do the best they can with the talents they have Louisa Dear Louisa I am going on a European trip this summer and am crossing eros eros- sing the ocean on one of the big liners Someone told me that the maids mald laid out your clothes for you on aU all of these tours I dont like this idea of people going through my bags How can I keep them from doing this Jane L L. Answer I have travelled on a tour and crossed the Atlantic on the Queen Elizabeth My night nightclothes nightclothes clothes were unpacked and Inthe in inthe the closet The stewardess turned down the bed clothes each night and placed my gown and robe across the foot 0 of the bed No one ever opens your bags unless you ask that they Chey be unpacked Louisa |
