Show t 1 I r S W ft s By IRIS o IRIS June brides receive linen pots silver and advice Suddenly everyone the bride knows Isan Isan is isan an authority on what makes a happy mar mars It h doesn't matter whether the person has been married married and and divorced divorced halt half a dozen times or whether they have reached the age of 01 sixty still waiting they are sure vo w o have any allY Information the bride needs for a a Ii successful marriage I KNEW A LADY Once nce who was a II tradition In our town lawn She arrived on the scene before the engagement ring was cool coolon on the girls girl's finger to give her detailed instructions on how she should conduct her coming marriage This lady said she knew all the pitfalls so if the girl would follow tallow her advice she would tread lifes life's rocky patch without a stumble Fortunately no One ever listened to her since she was known to disseminate such gems as A good skillet comes In handy If It ItHE HE looks at other women use it to fetch letch him one on the noggin or the cows and the pigs is MANS MAN'S work and dont don't you let Im lm it it With such views widely aired alred no one really wondered why Aunt Kate lived and died a maiden lady ONCE IN AWHILE due to the law of 01 averages no doubt a new bride does receive advice which turns out to be priceless An aunt of mine once told me that marriage Is after all all a battle and a smart bride will ImmedIately Immediately lately promote herself to the rank of general A good general this wise aunt said ald always knows the best defense is attack and she gave m me an example Suppose she said youve you've gone and crushed crush ed the fender of your husbands husband's car Do you stand and break into tears while he gives you what for No such thing Before he comes into the house after viewing the damage and getting get gets ting red In Irl the face the wise wife wIle will be ready with her het attack The minute he opens the door she shouts houts How flow come you didn't get that steering wheel fixed I could have been THEN she breaks Into tears IVE I'VE BEEN using that advice for years and it does work Like last week when I f accidentally accidentally accident accident- ally tromped through the garden plot newly planted with peas and whatnot As soon as I Iwas Iwas Iwas was sure my husband had seen the footprints unquestionably made by my size shoe shoe shoe-I I hollered How flow come you didn't put stakes around that garden My good shoes are re COVERED COVERED COV COy ERED with mud By Dy the time hes he's thought of ot ofa ota a good answer the garden will be up up-or up or what's what left of It It was my maternal grandmother who advised me to use friendly deception And I 1 found this if the bride Is a little sneaky by nature FOR EXAMPLE if dinnertime and your husband arrive at the same time and if II one Is ready to eat and the other isn't the smart sneaky wife will hurry and set the table This causes the husband to think dinner Is teady ready when in reality the potatoes arent aren't even peeled By Dy the time it dawns on him the table has nothing on it but empty plates the dinner will willbe be ready A really sneaky wife and our name Is legion can use this type of deception successfully for fifty tifty years or as long as necessary Of ot course even the most subtle methods tail fall occasionally This Is the time for tor the bride to break into heartrending sobs the louder the better which has the effect of ot drivIng driving drivIng ing the husband from the house temporarily thus giving the bride time to marshall marshal her forces tores for tor- ces es for tor the next round |