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Show ; . HARRY'S RIVAL. A Goat In a Nocturnal Prowl fimaahed a Komanca to 11icm. Kot long: ago a Hridgeport, Conn., yovng lady who desired to get up with the lark, in order to go on an eloping tour, adopted the schoolboy's plan, and the lover was to bo on hand at daybreak to give the signal. The string used for tho. pedal com-munication was a stout cord, and one end was dropped out of tho third story window into the back yard and the other end, of course, was attached to tho damsel's toe. The legend runs' that a goat of the William persuasion arose early next morning and wan-dered into the yard. After eating up all the did sardine tins, barrel staves and broken crock-ery, he found the string and took that in as desert. As soon as the string was drawn taut the goat stood upon his hind legs and gave an impulsive jerk. The girl woke. The goat gave another sudden pull and tho maiden jumped out of bed with a smothered cry of pain. Then she stooped down to detach the cord just as tho ridicu-lous beast gave another violent jerk, and she nearly lost her equilibrium, and her toe, too, the cord cutting into the tender flesh. She sprang to the window and culled down in a hoarse whisper: "Stop pulling, Harry; I'll be down in a minute." Then she made another effort to un-tie the cord, but the persistent goat gave his head several angry bobs, and each time the girl utterod a cry of pain. Again she call into tho dark-ness: "Harry, if you don't stop jerking like that I won't come down at all." She was answered by another sav-age pull, and the cry of anguish that escaped her brought her mother into the room with a look of affright and a lighted lamp. The young lady faint-ed, the elopement was nipped in the bud and the disappointed maiden's too was sore for a month. Tho gout escaped. 1 1 SWEATING COLD COINS, f.lfctrlrlly l ed to Holt Our Metal Car--1 rcnrjr of Its Weight and Value. Short-weig- gold coins are becoming annnylngly common in the metal cir-culating medium. Bankers and others who handle this character of money are frequently coming across light piece. The discovery some time ago of nearly three hundred pounds in light pieces tendered in payment of custom duties by a prominent importer has. by directing attention to the subject and exciting scrutiny, led to the detec-tion of numerous pieces short in weight, showing that there is in oper-ation a systematic scheme for robbing the government by stealing metal from coins. Tho process of robbery which is familiarly known as "sweating" coins was formerly practiced to a great ex-tent, but of late years few instances of it have come to the attention of the authorities. It is not highly profitable, at best, under the old methods of ex-tracting the metal, it did not afford much more than a living. From a careful examination of the light pieces it is quite evident that tho thief has brought into requisition the rapid agency ot electricity. The serv-ice of an ordinary galvanic battery and some cheap acid is all that is necessary to conduct the operation by the electric process. The scheme is similar to that employed in plating with gold by elec-tricity. The coin is placed in the fluid, and attached to it are wires from the polos of the battery leading to another piece of metal prepared to receive in the form of plating, the metal to be removed from the coin. The battery being set in motion, sufficient gold to form a plating is quickly transferred, and as it is removed uniformly from all parts ot the coin the liability of dis-figurement is reduced to a minimum. The only effect is to blur the charac-ters slightly. Tho electric process of stealing from coins is not altogether a new scheme. The government officials, a few years ago, captured a band of Italians who were operating extensively on this plan. Before tho discovery of tho use of electricity for plating "sweating" was done by the use of bags. A buckskin sack, similar to tho sacks used by western minors to gather gold in, was the favorite instrument. After the coins were well shaken in this tho dust was beaten out and tho particles col-lected by moans of quick silver, which rapidly forms amalgamation. When sacks of cotton material are used they are burned and the stealings collector! by reduction in a crucible. AMUSEMENTS IN BAVARIA. yolnt Wars In Whlrh toe People ot That Country F.iijuy Themwilvea. As to amusement you may trust a Bavarian not to be behind in that, fays the National Review. Tho men meet almost nightly in the different inns and beerhouses, according to their status in the local societies, where they havo talk, singing, music, etc., the laro glass mugs of beer at fieir side being constantly replenished. The boer is fortunately light, but the amount drunk is a serious expense, and much more than tho men usually can properly af-ford. Besides these nightly gatherings there are different clubs or societies that meet at certain times ut one or other of the inns for an evening's I amusement, some of them under tho patronage of tho priest In many of them the women join, but the women's chief entertainments are kunkl, or spinning parties, at home, and very eo:'.y and picturesque these spinning parties are. The great feature in a Bavarian sittin-g- room is the large porcelain stove that stands out into the room, and that is usually lit from the passage outside. Round this stove a bench runs, making a cklightfully warm seat, the back be-ing the porco'.ain stove. But besides this stove, in the older houses, there is in tho wall a hole with a chimney, where a peculiar sort of pine, that burns brightly without sending out sparks, is burned at night for tho pur-pose of light only. In olden times, when such luxuries as lamps were unthought of, it was often the only means of illumination. Some still use them constantly; others keep them only for festive occasions. A mac (generally tho wag or story-teller of tho party) sits beside It to keep it replenished. The women have their spinning-wheel- s or knitting, and tho men sit in tho darker corners; and there are always some to sing songs or tell stories or keep the fun going in some way. One such scene espec-ially occurs to me. Imagine an old, dark-panele- d room. In her armchair close to tho stove, in tho full light of the blazing pine wood, sits tho handsome old hostess, in her picturesque costume, busy with her spinning-whee- l. A young woman with a wheel is in an opposite corner. Three daughters knitting and guests sit in a circle, more or less, the light playing on the variod faces and timo- - worn furniture as bright firelight alone can. One man has a guitar and two girls sing Tyroleso songs. At last schnapps of different kinds (sort of cheap liqueurs) and delicious coffee, with home-mad- e cake, are handed round, and tho evening ends with hearty farewell greeting. her room; an sent tor Mrs. Markhara, however, and after an apparently very pleasant conversation, announced much to the surprise at that lady, her intention to dispose of her jiahitingn, and asked Mrs. M. if ahe wouldn't make arrange-meri-ts for the sale of them with a well-kno-art firm on Tremont street, in Bos-ton, who were personally acquainted with Miss Dillon and thoroughly, appreciated her ability. Mrs. Markham was surprised and de-lighted with the proposition. She was now fully convinced that Kate was pre-fiari-to assume the matrimonial yoke in earnest, and she readily assented to Kate's request to call on Mr. Bl.ick & Ev-erl- y, ami make such arrangements in Kate's interest as she deemed wise and proper. Mrs. Markham, with the assistance of Miss Dillon, who was not too ill to assist in such pleasing labors, selected from her extensive collections such works as would best suit the public taste, and had them carried down stairs, and turned over to Walter, who had kindly volunteered to arrange and catalogue them, ami take en-tire charge, in fact, of the whole business. Old Mr. Dillon his umial hubit when pleased rubbed bis ljny hands together, and declared that Kate was the most sen- -, Bible girl he hud ever met with. He declared tho pictures would bring enough at auction to pay all the wed-ding excuses and have a large balance besides. Walter too, was delighted with the smooth manner in which his matrimonial bark was sailing; and he employed him-self with much energy and euthusiasin in the interest of his beautiful cousin. In a short time the pictures were prop-erly catalogued and forwarded to the art room of Messrs. Blake Si Everly, and a catalogue was issued, in which it was an-nounced, that : "The gems enumerated here are the production of a wealthy and accomplished lady amateur whose genius bids fair, at some future day, to produce a work of art worthy of our most eminent painters." In the meantime Kate kept closely to her room, even taking her meals there; only seldom walking in the grounds of tho mansiuu or joining the family in the library. Walter at this timo was always in great good humor. He was voiy busy. For the first time in his life, crhae, he bud something honest and honorable to engage his attention. He saw to tbo hanging of the pictures in the art gallery, for he had considerable taste in that direction ; he attended to tho advertisements; wrote criticisms for the jwipera, for which he paid so much per editorial line, and in a variety of ways, sought to enhance the value of the pictures so tliey might com-mand a good price at the forthcoming auc-tion sale. In this way he worked incessantly and to much advantage on behalf o his cousin. There was another interesting work go-ing on besides at Windemere. Three or four seamstresses were constantly em-ployed on the troutimu of Miss Dillon; anil invitations were being prepared, and a hundred and ono other things were be-ing done preparatory to the great event. Indeed the whole household was busy and pleased, and never in his life had Mr. Dillon been so comfortable and contented. He was surprised at the smoothness with which everything was running, so much so that he legan to look upon himselt as the promoter of all the ' happiness which seemed to reign about him. And so he was, as he found afterwards to his cost. Tlte day of the sale at length arrived, and the pictures went oft merrily. "I tell you it was lively bidding, Kate," said Walter ,the next day, as he placed the snug sura of seventeen hundred dol-lars in her hand, "you might have sold a thousand pictures at the same rate." Kate received the money without a word and retired to her own apartments. Mrs. Markham came in and congratu-lated her upon the success of the sale, and left upon her tablo a cup of tea and some toast and kindly kissed her good night. TO BE CONTINUED. A HDNTEDJEIRESS. V TALE OF FACTORT LIFE IX JfEW ENGLAND. By Major MavNamara. CHAPTKR VI. CONTINCED. Never mind the pink, cousin Kate ait down here, for I wish to speak with you." Kate took a scat by his side as obedient-ly as if she were a petted child, and with her gathered pan.siea in her hands, she looked confidingly up into the man's band-som- e face and sail I : "Now, cousin, tell me what you want to sav to me, and while you are doing so I will arrange my flowers." He looked down at her with surprise. Pure and simple surprise. He couldn't understand and good reason why the poor girl didn't understand herself. An-other girl, he thought, would instantly have known why she was invited to a in a lonely and would naturally have felt somewhat nervous, unless indeed she was a "girl of the pe-riod," and powssed of considerable in matters such as he proposed to enter into. Cousin Walter was puzzled how to pro-ceed. Kate's coolness had entirely upset bis plans of operation he stammered out at last "Well Kate I wanted to speak about about " "Atxmt v.W, Walter? You talk like a little school-bo- y now fsay right out what you want, and if it is this bouquet. I will immediately arrange and give it to you!" "Was there ever such such impu-dence!" thought tho young man did she understand what he wished to say or did she not "anyway here she is throwing herself at my head and I'll catch her so here goes.' "Well. I'll tell you Kate, I've been think- - ing thinking " "And so have I Walter, and it is the most unpinfitable thing a man or woman can do. If you will stop thinking, Walter, you will do much better. Here, put that pink in your button-hole!- " "Is this girl an idiot a fool, or or is is she just making fun of me she looks innocent enough, but but I've my doubts. However, here goes again." "I've been thinking cousin of getting married. That's it!" "Well, why don't you Walter t "You're old enough, I'm sure." "I want to marry you Kate! I love you!" "Vou waut to marry me, cousin Walter ; When!" "Whenever you will, Kate!" exclaimed the surprised young man, looking at the calm, beautiful face in tho deepest won-der. "You must ask Mrs. Markham, cousin, and she will toll you when there! you will run hack and tell me tho time, so I may lie ready." Walter Dillon was startled by this an-swer. Was the girl mad! What had come over herf Ho looked gearchine-l-into her beautiful face but saw nothing there to indicate unsoundness of intellect her eyes were calmly gentle, though somewhat vacant in their expression, anil a sweet confiding smile played about her lips yea, she was all herself so ha said. "Why see Mrs. Markham! What has ebe to do with it f I'll see be " ' w "Ilush, Walter, you musn't speak so of Mrs. Markham. She is my friend, and yon must treat herwttjh becoming respect. I shall do nothing without Mrs. Mark-ham- 's consent." On this point poor Kate waa firm, and together the two loners (?) left the conser-vatory and made their way to Mrs. M.'s dormitory, where, much to her astonish-ment, the proposition of Walter Dillon was laid before her. To say that she waa dumb with amaze-- i t ment, would but illy express her feelings; but she congratulated Walter and his aff-ianced on their engagement, and kissed Kate as she turned to leave the room. As for Walter, there waa something about the whole affair which startled and confounded him; what it was he could not tell but he often looked uneasily at Kate, as if seeking the solution of some mysterious problem. As for Kate herself, she took things quite coolly. She didn't seem to see any-thing extraordinary or uncommon ahout the matter, but gave herself away with the same unconcern that she would have tossed a withered flower into the gutter. All the rest of the afternoon the face of Martha Markham was drawn and pale as if with pain; and, for a part of the after- - noon she was quietly closeted with the old gentleman. Kate fluttered alxmt the house as usual, singing to herself, and looking like anything but an engaged young lady. Chapter VII. SUOWIHO WHAT A HANDY THINO IT IS TO HAVK AN ANTB-R0O- TO A LI11RAKY. y Miss Dillon went about the house, as was her habit of late, singing softly to herself. She didn't seem to comprehend the sud-den change in her relations to the family of her uncle nor indeed seem to havo the least idea that she was engaged to her cousin at all. While she went about with him, and they talked quietly together, the one sin-gle subject in which he was most interest-ed, t, his marriage to the beautiful Kate, Walter could not bring her to speak of at all. She would say that that matter was in the hands of Mrs. Markham that Mrs. Markham would do all that was nec-essary in the premises, and that they musn't further concern themselves about it. In the meantime poor Kate would per-mit no familiarities whatever the nearest approach that her cousin could come to a more affectionate understanding between tliein, was once when he kiased her small white hand, and even that privilege was reluctantly granted him. Walter, of course, vainly conjectured as to the cause of this strange conduct on the part of Kate; but puzzle his head aa he would about it, he could find no satis-factory solution. But Kate's strange trust in Mrs. Mark-ham, puzzled and aunoyed him more than anything else. I'he idea of Martha having such power and influence over Kata waa something so extraordinary that it bewildered him. Such a system of courting and engage-ment aa he had gone through, did not seem very flattering to his pride. Kate had not even said "yes" to his suit ; but had incontinently turned him over to the housekeejier yes, to the housekeeper at this Rtage of his reflection, Walter Dil-lon gnashed his teeth and the house-keeper had given her consent! The housekeeper had accepted him for Kate! Was there ever such a style of courting and acceptance before no! not even in the wildest romanc he ever read. The more the young man reflected the firmer became bis conclusion that there was something behind all this there was mystery somewhere. What caused this sudden change in Kate's manner toward him. Bhe knew his whole record almost as well as he knew it himself. She knew that he was a bad man and what his rap--j station was in the world. I Until of late, she had carefully avoided him. Would hardly speak to him had appeared to him a strong-minde- d and dig-nified woman. Leas than one month ago be was regally handsome the hlontn of health bright up in ber rounded cheeks and its genial gjiarkle in her glorious eyes. To-da- y Heavens, what a change pale, weak, mentally and physically moving-ahnn- t at the beck and call of the woman ahe most had hated, as Walter knew pleased and friendly with those whom she had most detested all this to young Dil-lon was a puzzle of extraordinary intrica-cy, and a puzzle which be determined to unravel not indeed to the interest of his unfortunate cousin but to satisfy his own curiosity and to satisfy himself ex-actly as to the nature of the ground on which he was standing. During these reflections the thndivi of a thought had passed through his mind; and, though he would not look at it men-tally still he was impressed with it he would allow it no place in his thoughts and he banished it, or tioight ho did but it only became mixed up with other rub-bish in his mind it was there even if he did not see it and that thought was " hartlly think that girl it in Iter right inind." There was the solution of the whole mystery. If he had accepted tlutf thought and turned it overa few times in his mind, he might have accounted in some degree for the snccsR if success it could be called of his peculiar courtship. But as I have said he cast the thought aside; wouldn't look at it for the simple reason that he feared to. Will he deter-mined to have a talk with his father and with Mrs. Markham, for, he said to him-self, "if there it any mystery in this affair, and I think there is, I am determined to know it, and who has a lwtter right?" Now this string of reflections indicates the mean and selfish nature of this man he didn't care the weight of a canary's feather for the interest of tho fair girl whose life and happiness was being so cru-elly plotted against what he cared for was securing the fortune of the girl, and that could only be done by marriage; aa for the girl herself, he didn t care the snap of his fingers alxmt her. In pursuance of this determination he entered the library where his father was usually found after dinner, and at once ojiened up the subject. "There is something aliout this engage-ment, father, that I cannot understand, some mystery I desire to have explained and for that matter, that I am determ-ined shall 1 explained. Tell me why it is that Kate would not accept me without the oonsent of your hoitAi-kt- jr she didn't seem to care a snap for your consent didn't even refer to it when I asked her to marry me and in fact treated tho wholo affair more as a funny joke, than the solemn, and Berious thing it should be." A grim smile came to tho lips of the old man at his son's reference to the "solemn-ity and seriousness' of the marriage en-gagementthe son saw it, and perhaps appreciated the humor of the thing but he continued giavely, nevertheless "A great change has also taken place in that girl both in mind and body it is not natural now I am not going blind-folded into this thing, and I want that un-derstood from the word go that girl is tho next thing to an idiot what is the cause of this sudden transformation, and what does it mean t" "You shall lie gratified, Walter. You ask why the sudden change in the mental and physical ap(iearance of Kate that is easily explained the girl's food has been treated to that end by Mrs. Markham, with my content!" The library of the Dillon mansion was very spacious, and divided at the further end by a sliding door, which formed a cony apartment for the use of any one for reading, writing, or seclusion that door was partly drawn and any one within.thotigh concealed theinselves,inight both see and hear all that transpired in the rljoining part of the library. We give this explanation of the plan of the room, to show that here the author has a splendid chance to put Kate in hiding, and thus spring upon the reader a tragical denouement in the complete exposure of our dramatic persona. But such is not his intention Kate may or may not be there, and if she is, she seems capable of pre-serving a very discreet silence. Walter Dillon was astounded at the rev-elation of his father. This accounted for the extrarodinary conquest he had made for a moment ho felt exceedingly foolish for the follow had really thought that he suave conversation, his general gentle-ness of demeanor, and his undoubted good looks had been the real cause of his won-derful triumph over the proud heart of the royally accomplished hate Dillonl In-stead, his wonderful conquest was due eolely to the science of pharmacopoeia and the treacherous skill of a wicked house-keeper. The young man was astonished and dis-gusted. Old Dillon knew exactly the direction of his son's thoughts,and from the twitch-ing of his features, it was pretty evident that he keenly enjoyed his son's discom-fiture. Walter had not a word to say ; it bad been all worked in his interest. He knew that his crosin detested him and nover of her own will would marry him ; the more he turned it over !n his mind, the more he waa convinced that it was well and shrewdly done, and so, finally, he informed his father. "I was satisfied that your good sense would accept the situation, Walter; for I was thoroughly assured in my own mind that you would never gain thai girl's con-sent by any legitimate means. You are very much indebted to Mrs. Markham. 8hall I ring for hert" Walter signified his assent, and in a few moments the housekeeiier appeared and gave Walterafull explanation of theman-ne- r in which she had treated Kate, but acknowledged that she had never antici-pated such complete success. She further informed him that if she should cease her method of treatment for two or three days, Kate would resume the full strength of her faculties, and in less than a week be as hearty and strong, and as royally digmtied as ever. In the meantime she must still keep her in charge until after the marriage, which ought to take place as soon as pos-sible. She was doing her part ; the trous-seau was almost ready, aud she hail no doubt that Miss Dillon would readily as-sent to anything she suggested. The conversation concluded by setting Wednesday of the following week for the marriage of Walter Dillon and his cousin Kate. Chaptbh VIII. WHICH SHOWS THAT BATH WAS NOT THS "LITTLM FOOL" THB CONSPIRATORS TOOK H8B TO BB. The day following the explanations in the library Kate Dillon was too ill to leave lie Thonght It Would. An eminent barrister, now deceased, onco received a severe reprimand from a witness whom he was trying to brow- - beat. It was an important issue, and in order to save his cause from defeat. It was necessary that Mr. X. should impeach the witness. Ho endeavored to do it on tho ground of age. The following dialogue ensued. Barrister: "How ld are you?" Witness: "Seventy-tw- o years." Barrister: "Your memory, of course, is not so brilliant and vivid as it was twenty years ago, la it?" Witness: "I do not know but it is!" Barrister: "State some circum-stance which occurred, say twelve years ago, and we shall be able to see how well you can remember." Wit-ness: "I appeal to your lordship if I am to be interrogated in this manner; it is insolent!" Barrister: "Yos, sir; state it!" Witness: "Well, sir, if you compel mo to do it, I will. About thirty years ago you studied in Mr. Parchment's office, did you not?" Barrister: "Yes." Witness. "Well, sir, I remember your father coming in-to my shop and saying to mo, 'Mr. B., my son is to be examined and I wish you would let him have a suit of clothes on credit' I remember also sir, that from that day to this he has never paid me my bill. That sir, I remember ns though it were but yesterday!" Barrister, considerably abashed: "That will do sir!" Witness: "I thought it would!" BORN IN THE SKY. Why Fishes and Frog4 Coma Down In Shower. A writer in Nature's Realm says thai little fishes may be hatched in the clouds. What he says about it is so interesting that his wholo loiter Is herewith given: ' ' 'I observe a reference made In tho American Anglor touching upon show-ers of fishes, in whiclt ltta that ecienco has not yet fully explained the phenomena. This is perhaps slightly incorrect. Several cuuses have been suggested. Might it not very proba-bly be that fish and frogs which fall apparently from tho skies aro really bred there? "Water fowL it in known, very fre-quently carry eggs of fish to great dis-tances, having swallowed them, and in their flight disgorging the same un-harmed where they can and do fructify and mature in water over which those birds pass. The eggs of many old tish are very glutinous, and readily adhere to substances brought in contact with them during particular times of incu-bation. Is it not very probable that not only do these birds convey ova up-on their wings as well as in their crops, and when flying nt great heights tho ova, becoming detached from the wings, may remain suspended in the moist at-mosphere, which is quito possible un der certain conditions of atmospherical pressure, and that when under devel-opment they become too heavy and naturally fall to the earth, as frequently witnessed?" CATHEDRAL ARCHITECTURE. flow the Great Church of JHome Was Built of Hotter. The cathedral is first found to per-fection in the thirteenth century, but it is more elaborate in the fourteenth, says the Philadelphia Ledger. The tenth century was an important epoch in the history of cathedrals. It was the general bellctit efrnt time that tho end of the world wa9 approaching and a falling off in building activity is no-ticed in consequenca Aftor the be-ginning of tho year 1000 A. D. a gen-eral sense of relief is shown in the building of new churches. The erec-tion of a church was a convenient means for the expression of thankful-ness. Tho founding of monasteries, especially of the Cistercian order, led also to this phenomenal activity. Aa illustration of this progressive spirit is seen in the tower of the Rouen cathe-dral, which was built of butter. I mean by that that the peopleof Rouen, by giving up butter in Lent, paid for it from their savings. The sculpture of cathedrals, which was so exquisitely carried out in the middle ages, contained a means for teaching the bible in days when books were almost unknown. This is well shown in the statues of Christ. At that time it was more than a symbol; it was a sign of the living spirit. Then, too, the cathedral was more than a church and was not merely a religious place. It was the ono super-lative place in the city the center of learning and of tho community. Our modern churches have deteriorated, as in the early days, to mere places of worshiD. Why Poverty KxIhi. Air. Carnegie boldly assorts tho probability that ninotoen-twentiet- hs of the charity of to-d- is un-wisely spent "so spent indeed as to produce the very evils which it pro-poses to mitigate or cure." Surely this is a statement which he will, upon fuller experience and reflection, cheer-fully retract. No matter what efforts may bo made by philanthropists and social economists for tho removal of poverty, we must make up our minds that poverty in one shape or another will always exist among us. The words of Christ will be ever verified poor ye have always with you." As well attempt to legislate vice out of ex-istence as to legislate poverty and suf-fering out of the world. London is the richest city in the world; it is also the poorest. Berlin, with a population of 1,600,000, has 200.000 living from hand to mouth and verging on destitu-tion. It is in accordance with the economy of divine providence that men should exist in unequal conditions in society in order to exercise benevo-lent virtues Cardinal Gibbons. The Peddler's Parting Shot, Ho rang the bell of a Laurel avenue residence and. on the appearance of the servant, begged to be presented to the lady of the house. "But she has no nse for peddlers," replied the girl. "I was recom mended to call here by a prominent society lady a few blocks below, and Oil, yes," as the matron of the household appeared to reinforce the servant, "allow me to call your at-tention to one of the most ingenious inventions of tho age." "What is it?" inquired the lady. "It is a patent reversible door-ma- You will observe, madam, that it con-tains two slides, the one reading 'Wel-come,' the other "Not at home.' Now, then, these slides are worked by two cords extending iuto the front room. The trap can be set, or.iu other woVds, tho mat can be arranged to display the .word Welcome' on such days as you are prepared to receive company, and at such times as you are indisposed x otherwise engaged, the words 'Not at home' cau be made to stare the would-b- e caller lu the face at your own con-venience. I have already sold quite a number of them on the avenue." "I wouldn't have such a thing around the house." "You wouldn't?" "No. sir. It's a gross innovation and I should consider it also a gross impro-priety. Take it away." "But. nindani, quite a number of your neighbors have already secured them and they are bound to become quite a fad, I assure you." "Take it away." "Remonstrance is 0801088?" "Quite so." "lie careful, madam. or you will com-pel me to make a confession." "That is entirely unnecessary. Just take yourself and your mats away, and it will be all right." "Madam, you defy me. All right, then. Your neighbor right across the street just purchased one and said that she had but one reason for doing so." "And what was that?" "She said, moutioning your name, that she wanted just such a mat on the front steps that she could use to keep you from running in every hour or two to gad and gossip about your betters. Good day, madam, 1 really think you should have lust such a mat as this in e' Pioneer Press. Some People Believe It. The flea is capable of being and of affording amusement to man by various little tricks. The first step in the process is to restrain his natural inclination to jump. This is done by placing him In a low, flat box with a glass lid. The flea, supposing that ho has an open space overhead, jumps, strikes the glass with great violence, and fulls half-stunne- d. This discour-ages him, but unable to account for the phenomenon, he tries again and again, until at last, after some days, he ar-rives at the conclusion that there is something altogether wrong with tho atmosphere, and that jumping must bo abandoned. After this the rest is easy. He can be taught to drag a lit-tle carriage, to sit on the box, to lire a tiny cannon, or to perform othor feat New York Continent. , - He Had the Last Word. A bachelor tradesman who has just died in Hamburg adopted a novel method of revenging himself on the woman who once jilted him. In his will he left her a legacy of 12,000 marks, hut also indited the following letter which ho ordered to be handed to the lady, who is now a widow, with the money: "Madam: Some thirty years ago I was a suitor for your hand in marriage. You refused my offer, and as a consequence my days have been passed in peace and quietness. Now I requite your goodness." Had Found a Bargain. A Washington man who Is noted for his appreciation for a nickel's full value rather than for religious devotion, wa3 seen in one of the prominent churches. "I don't understand it," remarked a man who is acquainted with him. 'I never knew him to attend Divine sor-nl-ce before." "Probably," was the reply, "he has just discovered that salvation is free." Washington Post How to Play Diplomacy. 'Say, Fred," said a lad who, in spite of his youth takes a good deal of inter-est in diplomatic matters, "lot's play diplomacy." "I don't know how." "Ob, I'll show you. The first thing to do is for you to go into the parlor and I'll go into the dining room, and then we'll write letters to each other." Prevalence of Iea(iie. At least one person in three bctweon the ages of ton and forty years is sub-ject to partial deafness. Tho great ma-jority of cases of deafness are heredi-tary and due to tho too close consan-guinity of the parents. Deafness is more prevalent among men than among women because the former are more exposed to tho vicissitudes of climate. It is thought that telephones tend to bring on deafness when one ear is used to the exclusion of the other. Canned Meats. A German physician proposes that the manufaturers of presorved meat should be compelled to stamp their cans with a legible date mark. For a year or so, he says, canned meat may remain perfectly wholosome, but after that it deteriorates in a way defying alike precaution and explanation. Not What They Seem. Negroes do not seem to be so shift-less as some people would have you believe. In sixteen cities of Virginia the nesroes own property worth $ S42. the greater part of which is real estate. In Richmond their pos-sessions amount to $20. 13S. He Was a Good Little Boy. He must have been a very bright boy, a very bright little boy, who said to his mother: "I wish a lion would eat me up." Why?" the mother asked. "Reeause it would be such a joke on the lion; he would think I was inside ol him, and I should be up in heaveu." Eaten by Men. At Mont Del, In Brittany, the re-mains of about 100 elephants have been discovered, gathered bn a small surface of about 1,900 square meters. All the bones are broken, and it ia thought that the animals must have, j been eat by prehistoric men. - - As to Point of View. That all depends upon tho point of view is shown by the circumstances that a man falling out of a baloon does not want tho earth, although he Id more thuu likely to get it. Every fairly large house inTokio bai ita own bath-roo- besides this, there are no less than 800 baths in the city of Toklo, where 800.000 persons hathe daily at a cost per head of 1 sea 3 rin, or about a half-penn- |