Show I 1 I 1 t M S y I 1 I 1 TIIE TRE MAKE LIMEKILN KILN CLUB 1 I BROTHER GARDNER TALKS ABOUT THE watermelon 10 pia Pi ts 1 sawed off Jolin Jo lineon sons ar cu went that tle the lord alade them ani and Tbt refo fore that any one cau can help lalni el if lowright 1802 12 by charles B lewie lewis am im sawed of off johnson in dis hall to abt ogba inquired brother ill other gardner as the vere cretaro cre tary announced that there was no further business busi neb on his ills desk sawed off who is a man only five feet high with ith great breadth of beam was on the back aw ck row of benches and had just got rady for his ills second nap ile batted wafted long enough to tighten each suspender by two inches and then scuffed up the aisle to the president presidents desk bradder Br udder johnson said 13 cf other rother gardner as be looked down upon him 1 iwar I war in de grocery de tie odder night when yol yo aunt in dar an cot got up tip a discus hun will w id a white man I 1 was in the bladder of a box 0 codfish an yo nee me but I 1 heard all yo mid said was on do of ye yes sah sub yo y argy fied dat de bawd I made de I 1 au an carfore anybody could help 1 1 ye yes sah sail dats my opinion opi nyon 11 I 1 1 I tn opinion faint wort shucks bradder jolin boni de do bawd dun made apples an baters an oranges an sich but whar d do 0 y yo 0 git right to take lem cm de bawd dun made madece de airth but kin yo git any of 0 it ridout cash 1 I 1 V I 1 f V 4 16 1 I 1 jr 0 I 1 4 I 1 11 I 1 I 1 1 V I 1 I 1 I 1 TO YO SEE ME BUT I 1 HEARD ALL TO SAID 1 I 1 I think ot of dat bah sah stammered sawed off reckon not yo yol la is jest liko like some chuckle headed white men I 1 knows of Ebery thin dey knows is put into one argy ment yo stood right up dar byde by dc an waved yer arms around an yelled at de do top 0 oi voice toi cean an YO fomade made dat white man believe yo had bad de do bible de 30 law liberty an right on side izo werry sorry sah 1 I yol yo am but I 1 want to say a few words to yol yo jest de do same de do water killyon git yere until a long time ar tarter terman man jest how he made it I 1 dunno but his couf was caterin fur water nil ini llyon an he be had bad to bev hey it dar may hey bin a time when mil lyons wild an a each one was waz as big as a a beer keg an had bad A n rede red core orean an a it thin rind it must hev bin bice to lib in dose daye if dar was sich a pime me it soon passed away an it man who wanted mil lyons had bad to prepare de do ground in an plant dc to seeds dat made property of lefruit de fruit do yo foller me crudder john ion 11 1 I docs does hah mah dat boea of hull bull argument argy ment under only one barcum stanco has a 11 1 1 de slightest legal or moral right to visit roans mans truck patch an take away a if yo had bad climbed up on cabin roof to stop it leak an slid off 11 an r 1 broke leg an yo bad bin ilia alyin in bed bet i bout bix week weeks wid a fever an it j jest is t seemed M to yo dat buffin on airth would e taste so good its lisa n big hunk bunk of yon den yo would as toiler toi lers yo would consult the ikima nax in regard to de moon Yo would sorter inguar around to dig dis kirer if de man had a dawg yo would draw a bort sort ol 01 0 war map of dat lutch patch all pint on out t to the ole woman all de hot hole in de a fence felic yo would causlin her tier lat dat alt all de le biggest repast an juniest mill allu lie noth an south yo yol would instruct berdat dit a ripe gillyon ini llyon allus gives jut a bound sound when yo tunk on it DO 0 o Yo toller foller me tile rudder johnson John sou 1 I docs dw nah mil de ole 9 got de gillyon mi llyon she crawls back frew de fence she readies reaches borne she taken take dc de butcher knife in cuts cut ft it squar in it two an at de fust bite of half yo begin to feel better yo hare devoured it nil all de lie fever is all gone an in yo git up tip an all walk around am dat all fill no sab arter n few aars when yo I 1 ahead to meet lie 1 I white man who owned dat lyon an after fter to pay fur it if heddan lie doan take fityo it yo I 1 am so u much ahead it he does den bod belter better de tie ole woman arter another to tuR male keeren even dils all rudder job iwon yo see ee yo yol was lame tit fit werry linly plainly sih sall D den n I 1 lin sot down what I 1 bev hey said to yo 0 I 1 hey bind to all others other sas us well w ell I 1 bev hey nu no doubt dit dis diana ant gwine to ile do biggest ewt season for twenty fit fary an un dat ebery ini mallyon llyon am ant ter it e unusually luge large lu ge and juicy but we must deseive it ourselves buim by false argy arguments mentS an wicked theories the orie eben if we doan doa ngit git a bite K wr we will now bust do tie I 1 UP pan all KO go honie home THE ARIZONA KICKER I 1 the adit editor get et away tway iron from tile clinch 1 valley 1 cowl s 1 A cartr pal tr last week major alaj r cwan wann the owner of sunset ranch oer over sn in choch valley invited us u over to cat eat sunday him and look over his ills grounds PC V r 16 I 1 I 1 1 I co t r ra V v 4 17 30 1 A 1 I W 01 1 I 1 1 lz I 1 I 1 ka I 1 V N 0 I 1 I 1 11 I 1 1 I 1 I 1 10 I 1 efe I 1 I 1 6 I 1 1 I 1 TO TOW 1 d 1 an editor ot of THE n azan frank t aa 4 go r gri t ip I 1 s 8 k or t tur 7 1 c 11 N W LUY ir TT ot of this town we have wounded 1 three of thein tin in anil kept the crowd crow I 1 on their good lie be when they have come into the city it waft was therefore with hesitancy besita ncy that ve saddled our mule last sunday morning and set out tor for the majors we had proceeded as far as turkey bend and were communing with the spirit of nature and loading our guns for business when about thirty cowboys led by 11 wheeler who has a offer I 1 of for either of our ears suddenly broke cover co er from the scrub half a mile away we were w ere not looking for subscriptions subscript lona amon among 9 that crowd neither did we care to go into any extended argument of the political situation on the lords day we decided to return to town by the shortest route F for or about a mile the crowd was within shooting range wo we counted seventy six bullets which passed within speaking distance of us we finally began to gain and ft a mile out of town we were w ere a mile ahead of the gang all stopped at the city limits while we came into town on a gentle canter and attended church ser service ice as usual we W a the he slightest complaint to make against the action of the cowboys it Is 1 their business to kill us off inthey if they can and on theother the other hand we shall pepper every one who shows his head bead in fit town uw n it was w as rather a surprise on us but we think we did the right thing in to the place A tile KICKER no longer has a horse editor when the young man who has been sporting that title came along here four months ago fresh from the feminine east he be assured us that he felt himself equal to any emergency we could offer him only seven dollars a week w cek but he be did not hesitate a moment all lie ile wanted ranted was a chance to work up we have always abw ays been rather doubtful of him he ile have the genuine western motion to his right arm in reaching back for bis its gun lie ile practiced two hours a day for weeks and weeks but while he be visibly improved on the motion there was always a certain stiffness about the shoulder muscles lie ile was an agreeable fell fellow ow however and his department was interesting to all readers and we kept him aion along and hoped that he lie might somehow squeeze through tuesday morning what we had feared came to pass our horse editor started for lone tree to look at tit some fancy the way over he lie met halt half breed joe griff abom whom we once hung flung through the alley window of this office joe rightly looked upon him as our representative and stopped him ou on the highway we should have perforated josephs carcass exactly six six times before he had uttered d two w hoops whoops but our horse editor hadn I 1 t got ins his hand back before he was covered lie ile was then made to dismount and that leather faced half breed who go got t two inches of spinal column disarmed him spat in his fuce face rubbed sand in fit his hair and made him sing and dance until he fell exhausted ho ile graciously permitted our representative e to return to town at the end of an hour but we w e did not know him when he lie walked into the office As boon as he had told ills story we mounted our mulo mule and lew flew out to the spot hop hoping ing to find the half breed lingering about we beat up the country for or two milet miles around but he was not to bo be found As stated above we ha bavo v 0 no horse editor now upon returning to the office we told the young man he mustio must go lie seemed to fully realize the situation himself and was wall already packing up he ile was baal badly Y broken up and vie we felt borry for him and we wo hereby wish to recommend him to any paper east ea st of kansas or nebraska which ha a situation open lie ile is a capital writer but too slow on the draw for this section in a community where the horse editor defends himself with a club or brass knuckles hed held be invaluable we shall wipe out the stain as far as possible by shooting the half breed at the first opportunity TACKLING A BEAR ue he iva was determined delei to do io it and he ile barely escaped I 1 was smoking a pipe with the old man on a log in front of his door when w hen a it turk came along g with a dancing bear headed for nashville lie ile signified that he be was thirdly thirsty and was told to go to the well and help himself while he lie was drinking his ills fill and supplying the bear the old DIA man it was giving bruin ft a careful looking over presently he lie said ive seen dead lead loads ol 01 0 bars mars in this yere state of tennessee but dod rot my buttons it I 1 ever saw baw a critter like that I 1 I 1 i I 1 I 1 J I 1 A 1 1 I 1 f r k 0 7 I 1 1 I 1 lz I 1 1 N I 1 II 11 1 7 ru I 1 il lale wiro orl jest eel feel I 1 like ike I 1 wanted to ackle liitt dyo reckon flat that bl bar ar would be much on the hug stranger insert well hea bes a pretty good chunk of a bear and I 1 think hed held bo be too in much fur or a man I 1 replied durn ills its but I 1 think I 1 kin break bis back say youl you look yere stephen what yo all gwine to do now inquired the wife as she came out i gwine to tackle that barl he lie replied its bin ft a right smart while since I 1 bad had bold hold of a blar and im gittin lonesome dont yol yo go fur to do iti youa got plenty of business without fussell with bars better tickle tackle that yere bresh fence got lonesome to tackle a bar liar sally and do no good to gabber at me say stranger I 1 want to lev hey a turn ut at that varmint I 1 dont think the turk understood what w waa as wanted lie ile had taken the tile beara bears muzzle off oft to let him drink and ho lie now replaced it and stood looking at lie its in a puzzled way w ay stephen dont make no fool 0 yo fl cautioned d the wife w iia its the tile old man pulled off his vest mid nail spat up it on his its hands ill tackle that durn critter it if it busts mcl met whoops Who peel me crack his hi blamed oIL ol espin spinal il column colum nl the tile bear win was st aDding up when the old man rushed in the turk let iet go of the chain with a eliout shout of dismay andra and down tile road and man iaan and bear tumbled into the tile dust und rolled over and over and were almonr hidden from rivin elgut I 1 the wife and I 1 sprang forward but could do nothing the benr bear growled all and the old man ill LD for two ich ea raun amram uro 0 away an amt lumbered off after his hi frightened master then we looked for or the old man he ile was there and almost as naked as the day he ats boru he ile was tied up in a knot but we finally straightened him out lugge him into tho the house the remains of if him on a bed then we brushed an and 1 1 washed and arid rubbed until we nye got the dust dus t out of him he ile was clawed from the top of his head to the end of his big toe toes and and we vre worked a good two hours to drese dress b his hurts burts he ile recovered consciousness after Is the first halt half hour but say anything until we were all through then he lie faintly asked silly sally did fopay yo pay the turk what fur stephen fur his dead bar war I 1 mean to do it but when I 1 got my favorite back holt bolt on him and he equal squat I 1 jest let out and busted his dod blamed backbone into foty pie cesi stephen has yo got mind I 1 asked the wife as sho bent over him of cose I 1 has and yo think yol yo killed that bart of cose I 1 do then let me say yo yo dont dun know duff to soak head bead in the rain barll that bar blar licked yo to shoestring shoestrings in about a linit and boll be mighty peart if yo git outer thia this bed bell agin in to fol I 1 dun tole yo but yo haedl stranger was it a fair tout foutt he be asked of me IDO it was and I 1 was licked you were he ile looked surprised and incredulous for a moment and then whispered licked by a barl now let the bawd dun take me away fur ill never hold up my head a agia in on this airth no mol moll eay easy mathematics it if one ten year old boy and twenty feet of garden garde hose cannet can wet three milk wagons two street cars an ice wagon a furniture van ran and sixteen pedestrians inside of ten minutes minute what could five fire ten year old boys with the same amount ot of hose do in awen tyone ty one minutes if properly encouraged to make a record james was left a legacy of and he plays M 30 per day on the races to double it for every ho be wins he loses at this ratio how long will it be before he can afford sealskin beal skin trimming on bis his overcoat A boy who Is sent to the postoffice post office on a hot day for four dollars worth of postage stamps folds up the sheets and puts them iu to his hind pocket of course he ile then plays a game of marbles with dick deadeye a game of leapfrog with the robinson boy and takes a whirl on roller skates for halt half an hour upon his hi return to the office he finds OJ per cent of the stamps fondly glued together what number did he save it costs IX cents to grow a georgia watermelon ter melon SM cents to get it to a railroad depot 9 am cents to get it to new york it is then sold for seventy five cents and the purchaser loses two days time at four dollars per day and has two visits from a doctor at three dollars per visit what is the entire cost of the melon which was green of course although the seller warranted it dead ripe on his ills honor add the value of his honor four cents and what Is the gross sum I 1 A farmer has eighteen rows of corn each row rony containing seventy eight hills he ile wishes to divide the hills among five tramps who lost their all in tit the chicago fire and have staid all night in the ban and d been given u hearty breakfast how low many hills did each tramp hoc boe that is how long did it take the gang ol 01 them to get out of eight sight down the road while the farmer was making his calculations on a shingle A doctor buys forty cents worth of early harvest apples and thirty five cents worth of mississippi plums and distributes them among thirteen boys in the next twenty four hours bebas he has seven calls at per call bow how much waa was his total outlay and what was his clear profit on the investment M X QUAD only a nail natt she was a it beautiful girl upon lustrous curb curl twenty summers had laid their roses in showers of color and arid fragrance and upon whose fair shoulders the decree of fashion had placed a pair of suspenders if any who read these lines have not yet got themselves upon tills this fad they r should bould at once look up the latest fashion plates she was radiant in tier loveliness and the young man who sat beside her tier when the shadows of evening tell fell was as happy A as she be was beautiful it was an iridescent combination he ile had |