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Show JUST FOR FUN The Cat Came Back. Kgbert Oh. yes; I hit ujion a plan which 1 thought would work. I wrote a note Inclosing $1 and tied both about the cat's neck. The note read: "Finder may keep both the cat and the money." "And how did It work?" "The cat came b;ick tho next day with another note tied to its neck. The note read: "Don't need the c.it. but can use t lie money. Please send $1 more." Yonker's Statesman. The Bulldog's Revenge. There was a bulldog that followed each unto And acted and whined like no good canine ought to; Till at lat a chauffeur said I'll bet you u dollar I run down that cur; but ulas, the dog's collar Was blkd full of spikes. They'd no thought It was loaded I'ntil each one of his tires had exploded. ex-ploded. Chicago News. Style. "We pay our chauffeur $10 a week," said Mrs. Lecder. "Why. we get ours for half that!" exclaimed Mrs. Shaddor. "ls yours six h a paragon thai he can command hichor wages than anybody else?" "O. lie's Just an ordinary chauffeur, 1 supiMisi;, but when you get a man with such a distinguished sounding name as Carroll Mowbray Mullalne to work for you it costs something extra." ex-tra." Chicago Tribune. An Effort to Oblige. "Mr. jbrow does bis best to be agreeable," said the sympathetic young woman. "It's too bad thai he has so little tact." "I understand tfcnt Miss Coddloyap refuses to speak t') him. He sent her a box of tandy and she fed it all to her pet terrier. So he tried to best be-st ill more kind and thoughtful and sent her a box ef dug biscuit." Washington Wash-ington Star. Varied Entertainment. Stiiekland W. Gilliluml. the humorist, humor-ist, goes about the country entertaining entertain-ing audiences. In one town Gllllland was met by-thejyceuiii committee and asked what further arrangements he desired. "Nothing but a glass of water wa-ter on the table,' said the humorht. "To drink?" asked one of the committee. com-mittee. "Oh. no," said tin funny man. "I do a high dive In the second act." Human Life. A Killing Joke. 'I made fr. Knli'em, the eminent surgeon, very angry when I niet him today enjoying a spin over the snow." "How did you make him mad?" "I congratulated hiin on his sense f the fitness of things in taking advantage ad-vantage of every chance to ge on a sleiL'hing expedition." Llaltiinore American. Offense. 'There was nothing about niv play to offend anybody" said the authoi. "There wasn't eh?" replied the press agent. "You ought to have seen the manager when he counted up the bi.x oliiee receipts." Washington Star. Some Balm. "Duke. I am sorry," said the millionaire mil-lionaire "but :ny daughter can't marry mar-ry you." "Then 1 have loved In vain?" "Not wholly, Duke. He-re's S5u for you." Kanas City Juornal. On a Bear Market. "Did Mrs. P.rown t:ik. he,- husbands hus-bands failure in the right spirit?" "dh, yes. .lust as soon as she knew be was g-dng to fail she we-nt out and bought her entire winter outfit.'' Cle eland Plain Dealer. He Explains. "lUfore we were married you hough i me much handsomer preset) pres-et) is." "My general expenses were lighter then. You lived on your father, and I live I en free lunch. Kansas City Journal. A String of Names. "It must be troublesome to name Ihosi.' rei al babies." "hsi-si thing in the world. No btu-utfeiloii heed be rejected." Kansas City Journal. |