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Show utrong, muscular man can fill tbo place. What was your last occupation?" occupa-tion?" I "I carved spring chickens in a 1 downtown restaurant," answered tho applicant. "Take off your coat and get to work at once," said the b. m. aa ho turned I to his ledgor. Chicago News. t Surmises. ! Mrs. de Style How people did gaze at my new gown at the reception last ' nlcht! De Style Indeed. 1 Mrs. Do Style Yes; I presume I they wondered if I had been robbing j a bank. Chicago News. 1 I The Truth Comes Out. I Dribbles Hello, old man, what are you doln? now? Scribbles I'm wrltlnc those $10,-000 $10,-000 prize stories for Blank's Magazine. Maga-zine. Dribbles You don't moan to tell mo vou Ret $10 000 for each story? Scribbles Oh, no; 1 get $10 a woek. Chicago News. Unselfish. Mra. Dackbay Why are you leav-ing leav-ing u, Bridget? Boston Cook Mo reasons are. phil anthropic. I want to Hvo some ono elee a chance at the Joys of living with yez. Harper's Bazar. No Ruh at Homo. - "My boy's back from college." "How does he tako holt on tho farm?" "I hain't seen him mako no cano rush for the woodpile yet." Kansas Kan-sas City Journal. A Dlfforent Audience. "That author says ho will bo appreciated ap-preciated bv posterity." "Thnfs good. If he la writing for posterity, he has no excuse for being ofTendod at friends who don't read his books." Washington Star. JUST FOR FUN i i Dear Old Soul. It was her first voyasje, and tho old lady look a keen lnteiest In tho working of the big llnir. The vessel had not long left port when she slowed slow-ed down. "Tho ship appears to be stopping, captain. Why should wo stop hero?" asked the old lady. In somo anxiety. "To let the pilot off, ma'am." "Do you mean to eay that tho pilot does not go with us all the way aud direct the course, captain?" "That's what I mean, ma'am." This gave tho questioner food for thought. Presently she smiled, as if struck by a bright idea, and Bhe added: add-ed: "How silly of mo! Of course, after the pllut has set tho rudder polrtln( In the rlgbt direction there's nothing more for him to do, so he goes." Tit-Bits. Tit-Bits. He Was Right. An old Irishman had been employed on the docks as watchman for thirty-five thirty-five years. One night hi son camo home and told him that the superintendent superin-tendent of the docks had decided to get a new watchman. 'That's that? Get a new watchman, watch-man, is It?" "That's it, old man." "An" he's goin to folro me. is It? An' when am OI to get me discharge?" "Next month." replied the son. "Sure, .in' OI tould yo tho furrust day OI went f work there It wouldn't be a stlddy Job, an" OI wur wroLght." Housekeeper. Subject tor Thought. Harlow That oi'ftc boy of yours has a thoughtful cast of countenance. Barlow You bet he has. He's always al-ways thinking up some now excuse for getting away to the ball game. Chicago News. Fully Qualified. "Yes," said tho busy merchant. "I advertised for a porter, but only a |