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Show writer In the Wichita Star, he u' find crying behind the Kirn. aad when &Aked what tho matter wa. replied: re-plied: "Pa's jrone and shared hit faeo clean, and now I suppose ril h&T to far all them rrd whlker," Tooth Companion. Stm Invisible. "Br the way. old man." said the chronic toucher In lubricated lone. "you remember that flve-pol I borrowed bor-rowed from you last fall? "Yes." responded his frlnd. with a yawn, "and every time I think of tha five-spot. I think of the comet." "That" a queer combination. What" the similarity?" "Why, I've hern looking for It for months and haven't seen It yet. Chicago News. Wht a Howl. "Why can't they haae a grand opera upon an American theme " ' We have no peasantry to Introduce Intro-duce as a choni." "Ring In a chorus of ultimate consumers." con-sumers." Kansas City Journal. Flowery. It was In tho old parlor. "My roo." h whispered, pressing her fair checks against his own. "My cactus." laughed the pretty srir noticing that he needed a shave. And yet they say women have no sense of humor. Chicago News. Public Sentiment. Tho man whom critics once- would flay la feted now and toasted. And ho who gels bouquets today Tomorrow may be roasted. Washington Star. A Kid's Interpretation. Caller So your sLster and her fiance fi-ance are very close-mouthed over thelr eugairoraent? Llttlo Ethel Close-mouthed! You ought to see them together! Economical. Miss Old Girl Why do you tako me on such long, strenuous walk? Widower I want to reduce your size so that the ring will flt without alteration. Exchange. Prepared for the Worst. Bride Arthur. I have something to confess to you. Half my teeth ore , false. Aro you angry? Bridegroom On tho contrary, I'm much relieved. I thought they were all false. JUST FOR FUN How It Happened. You've heard that ancient storyt Tho tortoise ran a race And grabbed a lot of glory, A most unusual cue. The maddest hare or batter Has evidently guessed The details of the matter Were partially suppressed. The old yarn Is misleading: Here's how the trick was done: The hare was pinched for speeding And so tho tortoise won. Loulavllle Courler-JoumaL Tommy's Prayer. The Sunday school lennon had been on the efficacy of prayer, and tho teacher had done her bott to Instill into tho youthful mind the belief that bur prajim arc answered. There was ane doubting Thomas, however, how-ever, who lnslstt-d that he know better. "Why, Ttwruuy, I am surprieed to har vti f v toii rt'vn't bel1v mir prayers arc answered!" expostulated the teacher. "I know they ain't," persisted Tommy dorgpdly. "What niiikc-s you think so?" asked th teacher. "I don't think it; I know it," replied re-plied Tommy. "You know the angels brought a new baby to our house last week." "Yes, I heard about that." said tho teacher. "Now, surely, that was an answer to prayer, wasn't It?" "I know it was nit-" replied Tommy, disgustedly. "Why. for six months I'vo boen prayiDg for a boat." Philadelphia Bulletin. Soaring- . Jack had made bis ascent of the bean stalk and was on the down trip. "Me-t anything up In the clouds?" asked hl3 friend. "Only the price of beef." responded Jack u he prepared to dl't on beans alone. Chicago News. More "Hand-Me-Downs." Many a Ud can sympathize with the point of view of the Kansas boy who had always been obliged to wear his father's cast-off clothing, cut 1-wn and made r.ver. Afordlnr a |