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Show voice by playing ou the piano. Buffalo Buf-falo Express. A Different Problem. A hunch of old deep-sea fishermen In the cabin of a smack had been puzzling puz-zling for half an hour over the mental problem; "It a herring and a half costs a penny and a half, how many herrings can you buy for a shilling UDd a half?" "What did you' eay the mackerel and a half cost " asked one of hto fishermen. ' I dldn t say mackerel; I said herring." her-ring." explained the skipper. "Oh, that's different," said the sailor sail-or man. 'I had been figuring on mackerel." Everybody's. In Pallroad Parlance. T Imekeeper A pawnbroker. Fast mall A dissipated man. Meeting point6 Lips of lovers Division terminal Matrimony Locomotive tender A chiropodist Switch stand A halr-dresslug cao-luel. cao-luel. Judge. For Breaking the Drought. What on earth Induced you to buy that desert landscape picture with tho two exhausted nieu straggling across It, for your dining room'" "My dear fellow. It will create a most glorious thirst." Fliegende Blatter. Blat-ter. Judicious Nagging. Flrt Darling I hope you never nag your husband. Second Darling Only when he'u healing the rugs When thoroughly irritated he makes u much better jo:J Punch. A Freak. "A freak, is she?" "Yes, Indeed She's two-faced, forehanded fore-handed and five feet" Life. JUST FOR FUN Journalism's Criticisms. "You can't run a newspaper that will absolutely please everybody," ea'.d the editor No," replied the old subscriber; " man's opinion of the fashion page Is usually pretty much the same as hl3 wife's opinion of the sporting Eec-tion." Eec-tion." Washington Star. Bitten. Standing hy the entrance of a large estate in the suburbs of Glasgow are two huge dogs carved out of granite. An Englishman, going by In a hack, thought he would have some fun with his Scotch driver. "How often. Jock, do they feed those two big dogs?" Whnnovor thov bark, sir" w as the Ftralght-faced reply. New York Times. Something Swell. Mr. Blgheart-WIgglus, ..Id hoy, we have raised $50 to get tho boss a Christmas present, and we want some-tlrng some-tlrng that will make a show for tho Ti.or.ey-somethlng that will look big, jou know. Can't you suggest something? some-thing? Wiggins Sure, Buy $30 worth of rice and boll it, Men and N omen. Identified. The new housemaid had just opened the door in response to Wlgglesby's ring. 'Is Miss Darborough In? asked Wlgglesby. -Yls, sor. she's In. or bnt 6ne 8 c-Dpaged," tiald tho maid. "Yes, I know," smiled lf-glesby. I'm what she'a engaged to." Hurpor'u Weekly. Might Help 6me- , Downstairs You will be pleased to know, nlr, that T have arranged things o that vou will not ho kept awake hereafter by the crylnK "f our bahy-Upstairs bahy-Upstairs Very kM. 'in BUrP- 'VUlile we realize, 0f cour8o. that baby muot evtrclue ltK lun&s. there are times when one regrets loss of S'"P Downstairs I know So I have, bought a piano, and whenever baby Vx-eln rrv we shall drown hl |