OCR Text |
Show JUST FOR FUNj How He Got Even. A traveling: man who af.itters spent' nil afternoon In trylnR to nell ft grouchy burdnesa man a bill of goods and was not very Buceessful. As the salesman was locking up hl6 jrrlp the grouch was impolite enough to observe in the presence , of hid clerks: "You must find that impediment in your speech very inconvenient at times." "Oh, n no." replied the salesman. "Kvery one has his p-jccullarlty. S-RtammorlnK ia mine. 1iat's yenirm?" "I'm not aware that I have any," replied re-plied the merchant. ' D-do you fitlr y-your co.Teo with your r'Jricht hand?" asked the sales-man. sales-man. "Why, yes, of course," replied the merchant, a bit puzzled. "W-YVcll." went on Ihe salesman, "t-that's your p-pecullarity. Mo6t people tiBe a t-tcpoon." Success Magazine. Hubby Again. "My dear," says Uio fond wife, "you really should allow mc to buy the tlilnsa for the house." "I haven't bepn buying anything for the " "Yes. yon have. Now, you know you paid $1 for that new thermometer, and Mrs. Ncxtua bought one for 15 cenlj that roglHters four degrees below be-low ours every day." Chicago Post, No Sympaoy There. Mrs. Spoouamore. "Don't you think, Miss Tartun, the law should prescribe a sevcro punishment for a husband who spanks his wife'.'" Miss Tartun "Why. yes; If he has married a wife who has no more spunk than to lot him spank her he ought to be compelled to live with her all his days." Chicago Tribune. Poor Father. Mattdle Pa, will our new mamma go bad after a while? Father What a question! Wby did you think of such a thing? Maudie Well, 1 heard her tell Ihc cook that she got badly bitten when she married you. Exchange. His Principal Feature. Scott Sc that man who Just went by? He landed In tills city with, bare leot and now he's got a million. Mott Great Jupiter! That beats the centipede to a frazzle Boston Transcript. Tran-script. No Spare Room. ' Do you live within your income?" "Yes and I'm crowded for space." Yale Record. |